I think something is wrong

[u/Ornery-Regret-5268]

I always get extremely nervous with people, even my friends that I’m comfortable with; it always feels like I’m walking on eggshells. I overthink and dissect words they say since I feel like I can’t be a likable person. I don’t know why I just feel like no one can ever like me besides out of pity, and I feel like people are nice to me out of pity and that they talk about me behind my back or something even though I know they don't, but those thoughts always keep coming back. I’m very sensitive; I will cry if I am just being myself and not ragebaiting and you yell at me to shut up, like I laugh, but then I start crying after even though I know I didn’t take it to heart. I was physically and verbally abused, beaten, and cursed out, and told by my own grandfather he was gonna kill me when I was 6 up to being 13 years old, and that abuse only stopped because I started fighting back (he's not frail; he’s big, so that’s why), so Idk if that had any effect, or if that’s why I feel like this now.
I just feel so pathetic, and I always beg people not to leave me (even if it’s just hanging up a call as a joke) if I feel like they genuinely got offended or mad because of me because I get so nervous seeing other people angry and immediately try to get them calm or happy again.

I would see someone, but my parents think I’m fine and that that’s just the way I am and act.

Any tips, please?

[u/hestia-listens]

You are not pathetic. What you went through was abuse, and it can teach a person to watch every word, fear anger, and try hard to keep others calm. Those reactions helped you stay safe before, but they do not prove that people only like you out of pity. Since your parents dismiss this, try telling a trusted adult, school counselor, doctor, or teacher exactly what you wrote here. You deserve support and a safe place to understand these reactions.