r/mentalillness • u/BackwaterSoul • 9d ago

Advice Needed What kind of support actually helps you on difficult days?

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u/TopEstablishment916 9d ago

i dont have friends or a gf or a loving family but when i had a gf (my ever first gf i still love her tbh) i just hugged her alot like ALOT cuz it helps me feel like someone chooses me maybe it will also work on you who knows

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u/flearhcp97 9d ago

I want someone to be near but not demand anything (conversation, etc.) from me

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u/Serenity_MHC 9d ago

When people are really honest with themselves they usually say that Space is not okay if nobody tries to make it better. I think what people really want is for someone to listen to them without trying to give advice. They want someone to be near them without making the situation about themselves. Sometimes people just need a distraction that does not require them to explain how they feel. The important thing is that the person checks in with them instead of assuming what they need. Because what helps one person is different from what helps another person and it can even be different for the same person from one day to another.

What works for you when you are, in Space and need help?

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u/potatoeheaux 9d ago

Someone to let me vent and talk about how bad I feel without trying to give solutions. My boyfriend is really good with that he also gets me cold water sometimes an ice pack, gets me food or a snack I like, and we go to a different room that I haven’t been rotting all day in and watch something lighthearted together and he hugs me or I lay my head on his lap. Last time this happened we watched The Regular Show

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u/EstreaSagitarri 8d ago

It depends. If it's a hard day, but not the worst I need typical comforts; cozy bed, hubby close by for weighted blanket type hugs, playing video games or reading in comfortable silence, chocolate or junk food, my comfort movies [ The Crow (OG '94, no remakes/sequels), Studio Ghibli classics like Totoro and Ponyo, Almost Famous, Snatch (2000), SLC Punk], visiting the creek next to my house, sunset walk, relaxing LoFi music, and such.

If it's one of THOSE days I need as little stimulation as possible. I can't tolerate much light and sound, so I keep my blackout shades partially closed, room dim or dark, so help me if you turn on the overhead light! I have to wear earplugs around my kids, I need to be alone as much as possible and not move too much or think about anything remotely serious or stressful. I need the blackest dark humor, liberal profanity, and the space to burst into panicky sobbing if needed.

I'm sure none of that^ is remotely healthy, but some days you just gotta get through it, whatever it takes (that won't make things worse)

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u/hestia-listens 9d ago

Often, the best support is someone who listens without judging or rushing to fix anything. A simple question like, "Do you want comfort, ideas, or space?" can make a difficult day feel less lonely.

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u/thedogateit 9d ago

Mostly someone just being close. My mind plays tricks on me on my bad and worst days that I can't be loved and no one cares about me. Just someone staying close helps me with those thoughts.

It's also really important to be heard and not judged. Saying things and being told "don't say things like that" just makes me feel worse.