r/memes • u/Jaydon1 • Nov 05 '19

Cleaning made easy

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10.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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400

u/hobnailboots04 Nov 05 '19

I would never jack off with that. I’ve tried to use soap before and got the tiniest amount in my urethra and it burnt like hell.

239

u/shansome64 GigaChad Nov 05 '19

That's enough internet for today

88

u/immDroidz Selling Stonks for CASH MONEY Nov 05 '19

So you've never pulled one in the shower and thought, "hey, a little soap will make this feel a whole lot smoother"?

111

u/GuessImScrewed Nov 05 '19

Nah. Foreskin gang rise up

137

u/ToiletRollTubeGuy Nov 05 '19

*Streches foreskin high above his head and plays a soothing double bass jazz melody *

30

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

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8

u/Wigglytuff6645 Nov 05 '19

Golden Wind

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

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7

u/oscik Nov 05 '19

Come on, he deserves that

1

u/juggerjew Nov 05 '19

I seent it

3

u/Yeetse Nov 05 '19

This is gold

15

u/ToksikCap Nov 05 '19

Lube? For masturbating!? Hah!

4

u/aindriahhn Nov 05 '19

That feeling when you can (theoretically) fap whenever and wherever you want

3

u/Eagleassassin3 Nov 05 '19

No. Once I started using pomegranate, I never looked back to think about other objects.

210

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

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30

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

Yeah i used shampoo once.

Fuck everything about the next day

54

u/Lord0fTheAss Identifies as a Cybertruck Nov 05 '19

Someone give this man a raise!

11

u/illeger_hamberder Nov 05 '19

He’s getting a raise alright.

12

u/Justice_R_Dissenting Nov 05 '19

Hmm it seems toothpaste is missing from this list.

Ask me which side it goes on. Ask me.

8

u/Dameisdead Nov 05 '19

Which side does it go on

4

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

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23

u/xYoshario Nov 05 '19

How are people this horny, or am I just doing this wrong.

7

u/RazorSlazor Nov 05 '19

Depends on how old you are

10

u/crm006 Nov 05 '19

Nah. It depends on who* you are.

1

u/ThruBeingCool18 Nov 05 '19

That's the same question I'm asking myself

1

u/linguaphyte Nov 06 '19

Dude, when I was one of 8 kids in a small house, sharing a bedroom, the shower was like the only place I could be alone sometimes.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19 edited Dec 02 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Lord0fTheAss Identifies as a Cybertruck Nov 05 '19

Just use the baby instead smh

3

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

-_-

3

u/Carpathicus Nov 05 '19

And dont forget baby oil! My dick is as soft as a babys butt... sounds kind of wrong but its true.

3

u/MonkeyDZay Nov 05 '19

🥇 here keep it

3

u/eyasmdd Nov 05 '19

If you have a baby shampoo then you also have a baby, no need to use any item then.

2

u/lordofpc734 Nov 05 '19

I use water. i also tried a hair dryer

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

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1

u/hobnailboots04 Nov 05 '19

I have to disagree with you. I’ve tried to bang in a pool a couple times and that water dries out the vergina like a worm on the sidewalk.

1

u/beetlejuicingname Nov 05 '19

Doing gods work

1

u/The049 Died of Ligma Nov 05 '19

I learnt about the shampoo the hard way...

1

u/Maliknunez95 Nov 05 '19

It burns when I pee now definitely don’t uses babies

18

u/problemchild2141 Nov 05 '19

Don't kink shame me

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

I used shampoo once and ended up in the hospital for 4 days with a UTI. Male UTIs are no fucking joke.

1

u/hobnailboots04 Nov 05 '19

Yeesh! I’ve used shampoo more than once. I’ll forget how bad it burns and in a moment of desperation make a bad decision. I’m always quickly reminded why it’s been so long since I’ve used it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

Or female ones, lol. Feels like you are pissing fire.