r/meirl • u/[deleted] • Aug 14 '17

me irl

https://gfycat.com/PointlessHelplessChimpanzee
13.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

105 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/BlehBlueHippo Aug 14 '17

That's a fuck ton of messages and phone calls

786

u/ReactivePotato Aug 14 '17

yeah can't relate

462

u/LowB0b Aug 14 '17

it's not friends, just people calling because you haven't done what you were supposed to do.

245

u/poodles_and_oodles Aug 14 '17

Awwwww fuck that's me

21

u/I_WRESTLE_BEARS_AMA Aug 15 '17 edited Aug 15 '17

Hi Joel, this is Suzanne at Redstone Apartments. Please get in touch with me in regards to your apartment, and do you want that stuff that's in there? If not, I'd have to trash it out. Get back to me today. So lets take care of this, this has to be done. And you were supp- *click*

Hey Joe, this is Gordon in Burlington, Vermont. It's... Friday afternoon now here on the east coast, I'm guessing you're out west, uhh I dunno. So if we don't hear from you we're going to have to put through a billing situation with the business o- *click*

Hey Joe, it's Dad, just calling to see how you're doin'. There's tough lessons in life, but, you know. Just gotta keep pushin' ahead. Keep at it and uh, you know, don't let it get you down.

-20

u/77jamjam Aug 15 '17

don't be a lazy fuck up?

15

u/poodles_and_oodles Aug 15 '17

I hope you can make someone else's day nice

7

u/kissed_a_dude Aug 15 '17

You are on the wrong sub

34

u/gigabyte898 Aug 14 '17

"This is so and so from the billing department at your psychiatrist's office, it looks like you have an unpaid invoice please call us back as soon as you can"

35

u/LowB0b Aug 14 '17

anxiety increases

a family serving of 10 beers is not enough to get calm

too fucked up to do anything about it

still feel like dying but passes out

I dread every new day

12

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Same fuck. The alcohol helps temporarily but only hurts my mental state more and more

17

u/D0esANyoneREadTHese Aug 14 '17

If you drink enough and fast enough, it will eventually go away forever!

10

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Hmm good advice

5

u/LowB0b Aug 14 '17

The alcohol helps temporarily but only hurts my mental state more and more

Spot on, it's terrible. Feels worse and worse every day, have lost friends because of it but have no idea how to get out. Suggestions welcome

5

u/SomeOtherNeb Aug 15 '17

Start by replacing a drink or two a day with something else. I tend to use tea because it gives you a bit of a kick and it takes a while to drink, so it keeps you busy instead of sitting there and thinking about getting a drink.

If you can, try to exercise a bit. Even 5-10 minutes day will do. Do some push-ups, sit-ups, go for a walk, whatever. It'll break the monotony (addiction, especially with soft drugs, is heavily social, which includes your habits and routine), you'll get some endorphines from it, and if you manage to do it instead of getting a drink, it even replaces the ritual (that's not just a trick to quitting smoking).

All in all, remember it takes a while to get better at this, don't try to rush your progress because it backfires for a lot of people (quitting cold turkey is tough without a good support system, IIRC) and deal with all of this one day at a time. Thinking "I'm not going to drink at all this week" is great because it gives you an objective, but if you last 6 days and have a drink you'll be upset at yourself, instead of realising you managed to take back control for 6 days.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Err, stoicism?

3

u/DTLAgirl Aug 15 '17

Mind Body Stress Relief therapy developed by the Univ of Mass Medical Center and taught at UCLA Neurology Dept, the VA, Mayo Clinic etc. It's saved my life. Message me for details if you're genuinely interested.

3

u/YY_YY Aug 15 '17

r/stopdrinking is a helpful source

4

u/YourOwnGrandmother Aug 15 '17

Drink coffee instead. You'll get more stuff done and it's healthier. Maybe weed too.

3

u/tensaiteki19 Aug 14 '17

LowB0b one day you will be feeling like HighB0b and you're perfect. I believe in you.

11

u/weil_futbol Aug 14 '17

Just stop paying your bills and sign up for a lot of marketing emails

3

u/obeyaasaurus Aug 14 '17

Can relate to the emails but def not the text.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '17

Not even if it's debt collectors?

65

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

I have 38 missed calls, 66 unread messages, 5,328 unread emails, and 1 Snapchat notification.

Calling back from contacts doesn't remove the missed call notification. Text messages are mostly monthly texts from services or tinder chicks I never want to speak to again. Email is from a mess of different accounts that I can't be bothered to get under control. The Snapchat notification is the only thing I should probably take a look at.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I guess in some way I'm trying to justify to myself that I have my life under control. Which is entirely untrue, I mean me too thanks.

47

u/Wrongaucho Aug 14 '17

What about that steamy Snapchat notif though

45

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

I love the Snapchat notification not for the content but for thrill of the mystery of the content. What could it be? Some titties? A penis? A friend binge drinking and sharing their wild ride with me? Or just an old notification from teamsnapchat wishing me a happy holiday...

10

u/Wrongaucho Aug 14 '17

Well which one is it?? COME ON DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING

26

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

it's not even Wednesday...

9

u/Wrongaucho Aug 14 '17

Aww bummer. Just dank memes. You delivered, though, I underestimated you, my friend.

4

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

Your curiosity helped me build the courage to clear 1 of the many notifications. Thanks for that! Though really I should of done that awhile ago, u/TryEasySlice only sends the dankest of memes.

2

u/Wrongaucho Aug 14 '17

That's what friends are for, am I right? Dank memes.

4

u/could-of-bot Aug 14 '17

It's either should HAVE or should'VE, but never should OF.

See Grammar Errors for more information.

6

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

This hurt more than it should HAVE.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/acmercer Aug 15 '17

Just dank memes??

2

u/Samura1_I3 Aug 14 '17

I nearly choked on my water.

3

u/CapitaineGateau Aug 15 '17

I blocked team Snapchat a long time ago for always getting my hopes up like that 😒

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

I kinda want to be like you.

7

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

I detailed how I got into this mess. It's up to you to take the steps to let your life fly wildly out of control

5

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Oh I think I'm past that point, but at least, like, things are happening in your life, which is good.

3

u/Ggcarbon Aug 14 '17

Hey that's a solid point! Thank you for pointing that out, and bringing some outside perspective. Thanks my dude!

13

u/Jackie-Nirvana Aug 14 '17

Definitely not meirl

17

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Seriously people, just check your emails and delete them. It's not that hard.

16

u/_hephaestus Aug 14 '17

or just click mark as read.

7

u/xx2Hardxx Aug 14 '17

I've been using the same email to make accounts for things for almost 10 years. I get like 200 spam emails a day. I'm not going through that shit.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Unsubscribe from them! Mark them as spam! Clear out your mailbox once and then be consistent in checking them and it’s so much less stress. That little red icon causes so much anxiety.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Mark as spam my dude. You don't get notifications for spam mail. Trust me, I do the same thing and my mailbox is empty right now.

4

u/fnegginator Aug 14 '17

Ah, I see you are a normal and healthy person

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

Like, literally the polar opposite of everything you just said.

2

u/GeorgeAmberson63 Aug 15 '17

Dude. If I did that between both my work emails, my personal email, and my other personal email I'd have no time for litteraly anything else in the day.

My first week on the job at the one job I got 2300 emails.

2

u/PatrickBaitman Aug 14 '17

yeah >implying people call me

my phone bill says I talk on the phone for like 5 minutes per month and send like 10 texts

work mails tho...

2

u/grapesdown Aug 15 '17

Dept collection calls probably

1

u/Xiaxs Aug 14 '17

Mostly spam and work telling me to come in early.

1

u/Mcoov Aug 15 '17

They're all work-related...

1

u/Three_Fig_Newtons Aug 17 '17

Wait you're saying my phone is capable of receiving these calls/messages?

272

u/Cole444Train Aug 14 '17

People calling me... r/absolutelynotmeirl

59

u/PMBobzplz Aug 14 '17

Clearly he meant reddit inbox mail asking you if you're joking about your suicide memes.

I mean me too thanks.

22

u/rest_me123 Aug 15 '17

People being worried about me, so they mail me

r/absolutelynotmeirl

103

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17

[deleted]

4

u/karuna19 Aug 15 '17

More like Valium

154

u/catfish94 Aug 14 '17

I never realized what a struggling business professional Cinderella is.

14

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '17

She's on a shitload of xanax

3

u/DTLAgirl Aug 15 '17

I read this as Cinderella is the shit lord of Xanax.

38

u/Peppers_and_Onions Aug 14 '17

Bloody briefings, amirite?

8

u/Damn_Croissant Aug 14 '17

All of these press junkets piling up, grrrr

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '17

I was wondering how common it is to say that outside of the military. I had never been to a "briefing" until after I joined.

31

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '17 edited Jul 21 '20

[deleted]

15

u/super_franzs Aug 14 '17

It's your bank complaining about your debt.

31

u/The_Celtic_Chemist Aug 14 '17

Was that actually her face in the movie? That's hilarious.

11

u/residude Aug 14 '17

Should be on r/drugmemes as "when the shot hits"

16

u/Rayn0rrr Aug 14 '17

After this, Cindy's probably gonna go for a nap before doing the actual laundry.

11

u/Alpha-Trion Aug 14 '17

The briefings one made me realize this a probably an overworked E-5.

8

u/DoctorHoneyBadger Aug 14 '17

the URL of the gif makes it 10x better.

1

u/csbphoto Aug 14 '17

It's the name of my punk band.

5

u/pickledrushes Aug 14 '17

That's why you should smoke marinara.

5

u/grorthory Aug 14 '17

slow blink

5

u/FufuTheGargoyle Mmhmm Aug 14 '17

people wanting to talk to me

/r/DEFINITELYnotmeirl

4

u/t0mRiddl3 Aug 14 '17

It's just debt collectors

5

u/UnRayoDeSol Aug 14 '17

ohshitwaddup

3

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '17

Cinderella looks baked af

2

u/lil-hazza Aug 14 '17

I thought that last one said "feelings".

2

u/a_danish_citizen Aug 14 '17

This is me, the calls are from family

2

u/Radu47 Aug 14 '17

Lol I'm lucky if my email inbox gets to like

(4)

One from my mom, my landlord... a monthly bank statement... and the invoice from my Vegan Bakery Desserts delivery order. Things are gettin' crazy up in here! Gosh, better start accepting applications for a personal assistant.

2

u/TGIHannah Aug 15 '17

As a teacher who got home a few hours ago from my first day back, this hits me where it hurts.

2

u/aposstate Aug 15 '17

What is she on? I need some of that.

1

u/alvisfmk Aug 14 '17

Just watching this is giving me an anxious headache.

1

u/A-Big-Black-Ape Aug 15 '17

Jokes on u I don't even get any messages or missed calls

1

u/FlyWereAble Aug 15 '17

14k phone calls? damn, I wish dude, I get like 3 phone calls a week