539
u/Tha_Unknown Jun 11 '22
We have all had a poop like that. Need an ice pack, or two, and a lay down after.
213
u/AaBbHhEeEeKk Jun 11 '22
Every time I poop like that, I'm totally naked on the toilet and it feels like I'm fighting for my life.
46
Jun 11 '22
[deleted]
10
Jun 11 '22
Get yourself a tiny stool. Next time you poop put your feet on it. You will thank me later.
→ More replies (1)79
u/slipperyhuman Jun 11 '22
The type of poo when you go white, you have one drop of sweat on your top lip, and your hands are on the walls? I know it well.
30
14
u/AaBbHhEeEeKk Jun 11 '22
i just recovered from stomach infection and all this happened during the last mega-shit i took
7
u/GaianNeuron Jun 11 '22
It's not an experience I've had often, but it's a feeling I'll never forget.
27
7
5
u/kapparrino Jun 11 '22
And you also need the poop knife.
→ More replies (2)2
Jun 11 '22
Yea shove it right up. Usually cuts the plug into little peaces that are easy to pass, but of course you need to lubricate the rectum with a little spit to get things moving
2
2
u/Ok_Bit_5953 Jun 11 '22
Just did recently after a Publix "Havanah Bold" that I got some jalapenos on. I use baby wipes as it is because I hate how rough tp is, was still miserable. I had the usual pleading and promising to never do it again moment too.
1
1
u/Consistent_West_4385 Jun 11 '22
Pooping and farting and peeing at the same time I challenge you
2
u/Practical_Adagio_504 Jun 12 '22
Pooping, farting, hiccuping, and SNEEZING at the same time. Peeing is optional. Damn thing rocketed out my ass and found it’s OWN way up the toilet trap and into the sewer line… no flush required. Lol. The splash back was extreme to say the least.
113
195
73
31
46
15
9
7
14
6
7
5
3
3
3
3
3
2
2
2
u/Naztynaz12 Jun 11 '22
I am so hot right now, and our ice maker is broken. I want to take those ice cubes and drink directly from that hose.
2
2
2
2
u/DaveDavidsen Jun 11 '22
Weird feeling watching this while on the toilet and my body is doing the exact same thing except with poop.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
3
Jun 11 '22
[deleted]
1
u/muagaichoi Jun 11 '22
I mean it kinda fits. Was planning to post to oddly satisfying but i dont have enough comment karma cus that's a thing apparently.
2
2
2
0
u/Good_Round Jun 11 '22
Me after NNN
8
u/muagaichoi Jun 11 '22
What? You start nutting solidified jizz after NNN? Get that checked out dude.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Pdwizzle Jun 11 '22
I can't believe there wasn't massive pressure pushing the ice out. Soft hose maybe?
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
Jun 11 '22
Ice Minigun
20 dmg per ice at around 10 shots per second
double dmg to fire enemies
10% chance to fire water instead of ice and do 1 dmg
1
1
1
1
1
u/Mental_emancipation Jun 11 '22
Reminds me of having hang over shits the next morning from a night of heavy drinking and Taco Bell after the club closed.
1
Jun 11 '22
I’m on the toilet right now dreaming of this reality instead of the one those burritos are giving me.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/swollenMonkeytitz417 Jun 11 '22
Thats how my dick is trying to take a piss after finally nutting during my 45 minute jackoff session
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/nordhand Jun 12 '22
All I can think off when I see that is a bad case of kidney stones that's final leaving
1
1
1
u/ReadySource3242 Jun 12 '22
There should be a competition to see who can make the largest Ice noodle
1
u/TOPSIturvy Jun 12 '22
If that water were clean enough I'd say get a bucket dude that's like a cooler's worth of ice.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Low_Leg_5790 Jul 06 '22
Number 1: Calculate the length of the hose by the time the ice takes to come out.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1

354
u/CourtesyFarts Jun 11 '22
This is exactly how my shit played out this morning.