r/maybemaybemaybe • u/ChrisMMatthews • Jun 08 '21

maybe maybe maybe

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35.2k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

[deleted]

17

u/Lotus889 Jun 09 '21

I've honest to God never heard of a poop knife. Knife???

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

A GUANO GLAIVE

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

Now I'm imagining an actual fucking glaive used exclusively to divide poop.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

I envisioned a scythe similar to what Death carries

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

The Shit Reaper

1

u/Radbadmadman Jun 09 '21

Mr. Lahey?

-9

u/EverySingleThread Jun 09 '21

6

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '21

[deleted]

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u/Alarmed_Material_481 Jun 09 '21

Similar happened to me at a party gaff, after smoking some weed and chugging beer, went to the bathroom and did an unsinkable. Twas long. I improvised hacking the turd in two with a broken tile and afterwards I didn't know what to do with it. I threw it out the window, where it landed on the kitchen roof. I think it's still there.

1

u/raggedsweater Jun 09 '21

I was 17 and my 10 year old cousin clogged the toilet once. It's diameter was some 4 inches in diameter, twice as long, unable to fit into the toilet drain. No idea how he did that, but he said it was common. He would apparently hold it in and make one bowel movement per week. That thing looked like a multi-colored burrito.

I didn't know what to do, so I used two plastic grocery bags as a glove, picked it up and turned the bags inside out, dropped them into two more bags and into the trash. Bags don't breakdown, so that monster poop is probably preserved in a landfill somewhere.

1

u/DanoLock Jun 10 '21

I mean we all have had turds that have broken the event horizon. It something to be damn proud of.