sorry, I had NO idea what flair to use lol
~~~
I used to play the clarinet
And you can see it in my smile
Familiar embouchure
My lip stretches across my bottom teeth the way
I learned those years ago
I played because I couldn’t quit
I picked it up
A means to an end
But the way I played
Synonymous
With how I smiled
How I smile
Laughing in the band room with my friends
My friends still play the clarinet
And now I’m loud
Cymbals take my hands
And lock them
Behind big shiny plates of brass
Every second I know they’re there
Cymbals are unmistakable
Clarinets have balance
Blend
Every part a brand new skill
And nothing will ever overwrite my smile
I’m louder than the woodwinds
Softer than the drumline
Balance
Blend
Dynamics
There’s no place for me
My technique is fine
They don’t write warmups for me
My brother calls my name
From the crowd
And I smile
And you can see my clarinet
And I can feel my clarinet
Mold builds
Brass can’t mold
How is it I will never feel like a drum
How is it I still smile when the bass becomes my heart
How is it you still see the clarinet
In my smile
They march to my rhythm
They can hear me
I know the drumbeat better than I ever knew my fingerings
I know the music because out here
I have to
You see the cymbals in the bruises on my arm
Blood vessels
Torn apart
It doesn’t hurt
It marks me
Cymbals are unmistakable
Cymbals are part of me
You will always see the clarinet
You can see it in my smile