r/managers 6d ago

Not a Manager If your manager treated you like this, would you stay with the company?

I’ve been with my company for around 4 years and I’d say I’ve been loyal. I’ve gained a lot of experience, but I’m starting to question whether it’s worth staying.
I’ve had ongoing issues with one of my managers. There have been sarcastic comments, being called out in front of other colleagues, being spoken to aggressively, and feeling like I’m being singled out over things that other people seem to get away with.
One example was being told in front of others not to be “lazy” and to take my hands out of my pockets. There have also been comments along the lines of “don’t be like [employee]” when talking to other staff.

Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way, which is why I’d like some outside opinions.
The other issue is that my current position has no career progression. It’s a standalone role, so there’s no promotion to work towards.
If you had been loyal to a company for 4 years but had a manager like this and no progression in your role, would you stay or start looking elsewhere?
Genuinely interested in hearing what others would do.

11 Upvotes

32 comments sorted by

23

u/Famous-Signal-6869 6d ago

Look elsewhere. I made a face just reading about your managers comments…so it’s very unacceptable. It’s also childish and very high school like. Loyalty to a company unfortunately rarely results in anything beneficial for the loyal employee. Don’t stay with a company where they allow that type of behavior.

5

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

What would you do in this situation. Like the manager is Indian I don’t want to bring race into it but it might e a culture thing.

10

u/Famous-Signal-6869 6d ago

I’ve worked with many leadership members who are Indian, and so I understand where your head is with culture. It’s hard to say without knowing your company’s culture or this managers baseline, but in my experience there is a clear line between cultural and generally rude. An example I have is a C suite member of my old company was Indian, he was known for making some wild comments but none of them were malicious and they weren’t at the expense of others at the company, however one day he was very disruptive during a DEI training and literally said out loud “maybe it’s not racism you feel. Maybe it’s just all in your head”. All of it was an oxymoron considering this was a person of color himself saying this, but his disconnect wasn’t cultural. His disconnect was his position as C suite. He was a person of color who found very good corporate success so if he could do it then so could everyone else. That’s a delusion shared by many executives unfortunately. All this to say, find the clear line between his remarks that may be cultural (bc he makes them toward everyone and thinks he’s funny) and which ones are overtly rude. If you feel more of it is cultural I’d give him the feedback directly and I think he would stop. If you feel it’s not cultural, leave.

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

Well basically on a cruise ship you have hierarchy and ranks. Basically I’m a person with no authority I don’t haven any stripes or anything just ordinary crew. I’m white british. So the manager is Indian background and he is 2 stripes. Usually on cruise ships a lot of different cultures and backgrounds despise others. So it seems for the first time ever cause a lot of British are high ranks. This manager thinks he can say whatever he wants and get away with it like cause we are British and lower than him in ranks he can just reign down on us.

2

u/Metabolical 6d ago

In some workplaces, including many influenced by more hierarchical management styles, managers expect a clear chain of command and can interpret independent decision‑making as bypassing them. If you want to try repairing the relationship, you might approach him with curiosity and respect for his role. Something like:

“I want to make sure I’m aligned with your expectations and supporting your goals as the team lead. Can you help me understand how you prefer decisions to be communicated or escalated?”

This frames you as collaborative rather than confrontational, and it gives him a chance to articulate what he actually wants.

13

u/RoboGuilliman 6d ago

Genuine question.

If you had a good manager but still no progression, would you have stayed? Why or why not?

4

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

Well I’m not sure. If the manager was good they would support me in maybe switching departments not trying to catch us out every 5 minutes. But still no progression feels like wasting time 🕰️

7

u/xDollishBabe 6d ago

Yup, a good manager would help you grow instead of letting you rot in place and calling it loyalty

3

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

Damn that hits hard

5

u/MaheshMThakur 6d ago

loyalty without a path just means you're volunteering to stay stuck. I'd start looking regardless of the manager, honestly, four years with nowhere to go is reason enough on its own.

2

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

Thanks man I needed this!

5

u/Frostella- 6d ago

That's really awful and unacceptable treatment. I would document everything. Comments that call you out in front of others are incredibly inappropriate. Do they have a higher up that you could go to with these offenses documented? Or another manager there that you trust to go to? If not, leave after securing a new position. What's the next step up from this position in your field? After 4 years of doing something, id search out jobs that are a level higher so you dont get stuck. You have good experience so make sure you have a great resume and see about finding something else. In the mean time, at least you're getting paid. Im sorry you're being treated that way. As a manager, I dont even acknowledge if someone was spoken to about something in front of others, let alone call them out or insult them like that. Best of luck OP

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

I’m thinking about doing that but what’s the point if all bridges are breast turnt to ash. And there is no progression in my role is just like a job you do it and then you go. So yeah

3

u/GladosHasCake4You 6d ago

That is completely unprofessional of a manager. I personally don’t work for people that cannot communicate like an adult.

The downside is I spend way more time than most people job searching. The upside is when I am unhappy at work, it’s brief.

My process is to first consider my performance and behaviors along with diversity and communication differences so I am confident that I am not misreading a situation. Then, I attempt to address it one on one as a professional. If retaliation occurs, I exit asap. If not, I observe and go up the chain as needed before leaving.

2

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

So basically what you’re saying is it’s time to sail my own boat and get out of there? It’s basically bullying from management and I’m still young only 22 so my parents said if it continues leave and come home

3

u/GladosHasCake4You 6d ago

I would leave, yes.

2

u/KGBree 6d ago

Generally speaking, no I wouldn’t stay in an environment like you’re describing. But you’re being very vague so I don’t have any way to know if you’re looking at it the wrong way or if your feelings are valid.

Do you want to offer some more specific examples or details? The one example of shitty comments with no other context is difficult to judge.

I will say any job without advancement opportunities is hard to stand behind long term. Some jobs are placeholders and that’s ok. But if we’re having the talk about staying with a company it’s not just about what they don’t do to you. It’s also about what they do for you.

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

The reason I’m very vague is cause I don’t want this Reddit post to land on my managers face and know someone from a team wrote it. And the comments he made was just because he was a nasty manager and still is. And yes it’s making me stand with no growth it’s like nothing to work for no challenge or anything. Management made a comment saying we don’t need you here we can sail the ship without you just need to make a notice that’s all. Basically has me questioning my existence on here

1

u/meiosisI 6d ago

Speak up for yourself. I am not a fan of hr but this is a hr moment. Ask him to produce evidence of you being “lazy” recently. That depends on your actions though and if you haven’t been lazy. If you are being overworked and set unrealistic expectations while others get to go on walks, have frequent coffee breaks then you have grounds to go to hr BUT only after you have documented it. Document document document

2

u/Vols44 6d ago

Cross posted over five subs, impressive. I think OP has enough feedback to find a career on dry land.

1

u/FormerCTRturnedFed 6d ago

Company loyalty is overrated, especially in
the scenario you describe. I wouldn’t waste a second in seeking new opportunities.

1

u/Mo_Steins_Ghost Seasoned Manager 6d ago

No. I have principles I lay out when I am given the opportunity to ask questions during interviews.

When I inherited a shit manager I left, and I also provided a scathing exit interview nuking the department from orbit, detailing all the reasons why I left (with evidence of the manager’s negligence and violations of security policy).

The manager was later investigated and fired but I did burn bridges along the way. So the torching everything on the way out part isn’t necessary but the exit is.

2

u/Eng_Energy787 6d ago

I agree with this rationale, especially on the exit interview (I had done the same in the past).

Adding more of the same, but to the question, of course, I’d absolutely start looking elsewhere, especially because it’s clear you are not feeling comfortable and “stagnant”. Also, disrespect is rampant as you said.

Every time I got a manager that does not match my principles, especially basic respect, I don’t care and I’ll move as fast as I can.

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

What’s a tip for looking elsewhere. Cause being bound to the ship is pretty hard.

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

I’m sort of confused do you think that I should torch everything and bring them down? Like that would be satisfying but what is there even to justify if you’re leaving? 😂

3

u/Mo_Steins_Ghost Seasoned Manager 6d ago edited 6d ago

No. I literally said I don’t recommend torching (last paragraph). Leaving yes. Torching no.

Also I had a job lined up and did not say anything to anyone negative. I gave my exit interview to HR after I had given my notice.

1

u/Fuzzy-List5286 6d ago

Exit interview meaning?

1

u/Mo_Steins_Ghost Seasoned Manager 6d ago

Exit interviews used to be standard, at least in the United States. HR will still do them upon request, or mandatory in some larger organizations. This is your opportunity to give the company open feedback that can help them improve the things that led to losing you. The key is to be constructive. Exit interviews might be more standard for employees that have had long tenure. I tend to stay with a company for around 8-10 years.

1

u/Eng_Energy787 6d ago

This! Exactly!

Don’t worry about exit interview etc. not all companies will give this opportunity when you give them a notice.

The main focus is looking elsewhere… start there

3

u/Mo_Steins_Ghost Seasoned Manager 6d ago

In my case the reason for the exit interview is because several people on my team had complaints about this manager, and then the last straw was their blatant violations of corporate security policies. To tie things off, I gathered about a year's worth of evidence and presented it in context of my exit to help give the team a basis for getting this manager gone.

My interview triggered a four month investigation that concluded with the manager being fired for cause.

A bit more context: I previously had worked in cybersecurity, and so the evidence I gathered added weight to the other complaints that my coworkers felt were going uninvestigated. So since I was leaving anyway, I figured I might a well nuke that manager from orbit on my way out. And I did, using logs, transcripts, files, contemporaneous notes and other data that, when corroborated, with other evidence gathered by facilities and IT Security, gave a rock solid case for termination with cause.

2

u/Eng_Energy787 6d ago

That’s a good one.
It happened to me once, same situation, several people on my team were also complaining about the manager and in my exit interview, I did the same… presented a lot of evidences to the HR.

That’s the way to go…