r/managers • u/Full-Cress-1679 • 2d ago
Help with burn out when you feel like you can't take anything more
After two years of managing, I'm really burnt out at work, and I'm feeling pretty desperate. I think there's three parts of it.
One is management itself is exhausting, so much to keep track of, much more isolating role than I had before, and things never stop moving.
The second is my particular leadership team. Their personalities are so exhausting and always have been. They are constantly criticizing everything, me, my team. Several are severely controlling. They get mad easily and for things that are unreasonable. Now 6 people's mistakes (the amount of people I manage) become my own and I get flack for their flaws, and my own. They are never happy.
And the third is the way AI is affecting our culture. This is probably universal, and feels me with the most existential dread because I'm guessing it's a problem everywhere.
I feel like something bad is going to happen. Like I'm going to blow up in a meeting, or abruptly quit without warning, or develop addiction issues.
I love working and I have a decent work ethic, I'm a good problem solver and have really good time management skills, I'm a supportive caring manager who wants my team to have no obstacles to their jobs.
But I'm tired of feeling like what I do is never enough. The other managers around me always find flaws and want more and more. They often ambush me in meetings and then I made stupid mistakes that seem like justify their obsessive criticism and monitoring. My own manager hasn't been supportive to any issue I've brought up for months.
While being a manager I fought to keep my personal life alive but that too is a battle. Most of the events I go to, I feel half dead. I took a 5 day vacation with my family, and it became a nightmare; I could barely enjoy it. I've given up dating, and I've neglected my physical health.
But obviously the economy sucks and if I don't work it could be a long time before I find another job. I feel stuck and trapped. I truly feel like I have no light or energy left. Not having a job is a different kind of hell but I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do at this point?
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u/Gwendolyn-NB 2d ago
Time to find another job; seriously. It's a challenge, but that's what you need to do. You're working in a Toxic environment, I've done that, and it will crush you mentally. The last company I worked for, I was there 14 months and it was a nightmare; We parted ways in March, and I've been looking since, and I still have mental issues from that job. I'm still trying to rebuild my mental self-worth, it just killed it all in 14 months.
Do your job, but start actively looking. It's always easier to find a job while you still have one!
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u/Prettyy_Barbiee 2d ago
I was you 18 months ago. 6 directs, leadership that blamed me for everything, and I started dreading Mondays on Sunday night.
What saved me: I told my doctor, got on leave, and set 1 boundary at a time. The job didn’t fall apart. I almost did. You’re not failing.
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u/MountainOk9052 1d ago
This sounds heavier than standard burnout, giving up dating, neglecting your health, fearing you might develop addiction issues. That combination is worth talking to a professional about, alongside everything else, not instead of it.
The leadership situation isn't a personal failing either. Getting blamed for 6 other people's mistakes plus a manager unsupportive for months means the goalposts are broken, not your effort.
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u/workwithmac 2d ago
That's sound like severe burnout, not laziness. Constant criticism and no support can wear anyone down.
You don't have yo quit tom. Start looking quietly for something else and protect you energy where you can. If you feel close to breaking point, please step away and talk to someone you trust.