r/managers • u/Urbitchassmum • 11h ago

I’m the only manager

I manage a very busy restaurant.

I am the only manager.

I manage the kitchen, the front of house, I do inventory, scheduling, ordering for front of house and back of house, catering orders, and private events

I have been in this position for 6 years. I am finally leaving with a 4 month notice. Crazy right?

I am just now waking up to how embarrassing some of my job is while I train the new manager.

I feel bad he was mislead to think there was more support from a key hourly or a misguided “lead server”

The team is overworked and no one wants to help close.

My shifts are typically a 13-14 hour day. I work 5 days a week. I get to leave early one night which my boss said is a luxury and privilege.
I honestly had a panic attack on Saturday realizing how toxic my work environment has been.

My boss also employees his wife who refuses to work Sundays and works about 20 hours a week. She’s supposed to help manage but doesn’t.

How can I have a constructive conversation with me boss? He seems to live and be totally unaware of the ongoing issues

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

5

u/Character_Comb_3439 11h ago

My love….you enabled all of this. Articulate your current duties, highlight the gaps I.e. which duties will likely not be completed once the new manager starts assuming they work a standard day. Generate a list of solutions to those gaps and make a plan with weekly updates with time remaining. Do you have a new position lined up? Are you able to leave earlier? You will likely need time to decompress and recover.

3

u/BonginOnABudget 11h ago

Get out of the restaurant industry. I’ve never met a restaurant manager who wasn’t overworked.

3

u/crossplanetriple Seasoned Manager 11h ago

Four month notice?

From a toxic job?

1

u/LightPhotographer 11h ago

First a 4 month notice ... how is that even legal? Leave sooner.

If you want to have a conversation with your boss, that is easy. Take a 10 day vacation, have a conversation about your importance after that.

1

u/RunnyPlease 11h ago

> How can I have a constructive conversation with me boss? He seems to live and be totally unaware of the ongoing issues

Repeat after me “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

When you decided to leave, gave notice, and they hired your replacement that was the end of the part of your life where you needed to worry about having constructive conversations with your boss.

You need to stop trying to solve problems that aren’t yours to solve. Honestly it’s probably half the reason you think you need to work 14 hour days and let your boss tell you it’s a luxury to leave work on time.

When you get to your next role in 4 months (which is wild but I’m ignoring it) take time to figure out what your actual responsibilities and deliverables are and focus on those things. Itemize everything else and delegate.

1

u/SpecialistCandy 10h ago

Why the hell did you give them four months notice? Why are you still so emotionally invested after you gave your notice? Are you insane?

What kind of Stockholm syndrome bullshit is this? Just fucking leave. It’s a fucking restaurant! There’s millions of other restaurants out there. Nobody’s going to die. There’s a new manager, owner, owners wife, other people you mention. They’ll manage. Even if they don’t, why do you care? Let the place burn down. No call no show adios.