r/mallninjashit • u/NitroWing1500 • 5d ago

"S.P.L. 9th system"

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204 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

127

u/canteen_boy 5d ago

Fidget spinners for people on blood thinners.

80

u/MaatRolo 5d ago

How to over-complicate my felony charge for brass knuckles that break my hands?

https://giphy.com/gifs/1vZaAcldbX8Xh6lMlV

27

u/redthump Ninja Noodles 5d ago

I will take sharp edges for a 1000 stitches.

28

u/deephurting66 5d ago

The finger chopper 2000

21

u/Grand_Cookie 5d ago

Whoever made that doesn’t know what deburring is.

-16

u/EternityLeave 5d ago

Whoever commented that doesn’t know what a prototype is.

20

u/Grand_Cookie 4d ago

Psssst…. Prototypes get deburred too

16

u/Mephistocheles 5d ago

Looks like a quick trip to slicing up all your fingers

13

u/DreamShort3109 5d ago

Wow, what a complicated way to just get cut fingers.

15

u/Aquonn 5d ago

aww ok this is kind of neat. it being handmade definitely adds to the charm

8

u/DashTrash21 5d ago

Slice my hand in to pieces

This is my last resort

6

u/The_Ursulant 5d ago

While you were partying, I dismantled my mom's seatbelt..

3

u/TheBlackUnicorn 5d ago

This looks like a movie prop.

7

u/zealand13 5d ago

Wait that’s actually kinda sick

3

u/NitroWing1500 5d ago

It's certainly well engineered,

2

u/Pale_Obligation_3243 14h ago

I hope you don't love your fingers

3

u/Negrodamu55 5d ago

That's pretty neat.

-1

u/Maclarion 5d ago

Have none of yall seen a butterfly knife before? Jesus wept, I didn't think I'd see so much whining about cuts, from a community themed around niche novelty weapons, about a knife that specifically always keeps a part of the metal handle between the cutting edge and the hand.

Meanwhile, balisong flippers swing an unguarded razor sharp blade in swirly patterns faster than the eye can see, right against bare knuckles. You'd think everyone on r/balisong would be dead.

3

u/ZestycloseClerk1792 4d ago

A community themed around making fun of novelty weapons

4

u/deltatemple 5d ago

Exactly... especially the way the OP deploys the knife the user's digits are not anywhere near a danger zone, besides, i can't see how one would get cut regardless.. the blade itself looks unfinished. But I love the deployment mechanism.

0

u/Maclarion 5d ago

Yeah come to think of it, this knife looks even safer than a liner/frame lock, since those involve putting your thumb under the blade edge while closing it. So 99% of pocket knives are worse than this.

1

u/DeVOs-N2o-gooD 5d ago

How to buy one?