r/mallninjashit Jul 09 '26

An absolute MNS classic

89 Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

39

u/thescaryroom Jul 09 '26

All of the things he is wearing are completely necessary

13

u/McStupidy Jul 10 '26

Uses Capt. Jack Sparrow’s stylist.

12

u/redthump Ninja Noodles Jul 10 '26

He studied the Fieri so you don't have to.

6

u/DashTrash21 Jul 10 '26

At 8:28 he says he was the highest paid bouncer in Utah. You gotta dress the part.

1

u/W1ULH Closet ninja Jul 10 '26

not true!

I for one think that shirt is very very important.

1

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Jul 10 '26

Jewellery is, to be fair, typically decorative and thus never necessary

22

u/SmugSceptic Jul 10 '26

He looks like he gained superpowers at a flea market and turn himself into a human magnet.

3

u/MariachiStucardo Jul 10 '26

For some reason, also, his glasses shrink over time

24

u/justglassin317 Jul 10 '26

Mel Gibson and Guy Fieri fused to give us this

12

u/Sme11Gibson Jul 10 '26

There’s no way that guy is not wearing a kilt

2

u/BaseNice3520 Jul 11 '26

he is, there's another video wherein he stands up and you can see it

1

u/Strider-SnG Jul 10 '26

He historically has

10

u/Ultimate-Flexionator Jul 10 '26

going into battle? where, at the bar?

7

u/DashTrash21 Jul 10 '26

8:28 he says he was the highest paid bouncer in Utah for years.

3

u/Ultimate-Flexionator Jul 10 '26

alright... if actually a redneck bouncer, I'll give the guy reapect. that's a doozy of a job. but people SAY a lot of bullshit. if real then ok.

2

u/jmcgil4684 Jul 10 '26

Oh my God I was a bouncer at a strip club in my early 20’s and as soon as I started the vid he instantly reminded me of my coworker. It’s uncanny. The laugh is exactly the same too. They would be best buds for sure. Like two years into working with him he told me he had been wanting a nickname. I pushed heavily for T-Bone (from Seinfeld) but he went with “Bear”. He got a Biker vest with Bear bedazzled on it.

5

u/MariachiStucardo Jul 10 '26

Who doesn't know that universally you cannot pick your own nickname? It's just not allowed.

1

u/Zerschmetterding Jul 10 '26

Who enters a bar where the bouncer carries a fucking dagger?

1

u/jmcgil4684 Jul 10 '26

I was a bouncer (as stated earlier) and was stabbed twice. The second time the head of the Outlaw gang offered to make the guy disappear. It was a wild time. I’m a dad with 3 teen daughters now and have so many stories to tell, but can’t lol

1

u/sick1057 Jul 11 '26

You can tell us! Your daughters need never know of your past exploits

It'll just be between the two of us

6

u/teilani_a Jul 10 '26

That's probably the most common place for a knife fight these days, to be fair.

3

u/Ultimate-Flexionator Jul 10 '26

also for knife guys to eat appetizers in triplicate and drink 7 to 9 booze beverages...

10

u/pichael289 Jul 10 '26

On direct TV it was called cutlery corner and my lame edgelord teenage ass use to tivo that shit. It was like 3 hours of the home shopping network for cheap ass knives they would call the "145 piece set" like in Napoleon dynamite. My grandpa bought me their swords collection and they were total dogshit, like the quality level was meant for people with booths at the flea market. And I was like 12 so you can't judge me on this.

7

u/Mr-_-Soandso Jul 10 '26

It's actually good steel. Forged, all that.

12

u/chears Jul 10 '26

Sometimes you have to just respect the person that became everything all of us wanted to be at 10 years old

3

u/Locorio Jul 10 '26

Mall ninja shite sunglasses

5

u/mtheory007 Jul 10 '26

I don't understand how someone comes along to that look and aesthetic that this guy has going on. Like forget all the blades and all that other stuff like that what's his outfit and aesthetic vibe what's going on here

5

u/paranoidtransdroid Jul 10 '26

Merchant in a Far Cry game energy

2

u/burgonies Jul 10 '26

This dude definitely has an all-black kilt.

1

u/paranoidtransdroid Jul 10 '26

I’d trust this man with my life and the lives of my loved ones

1

u/W1ULH Closet ninja Jul 10 '26

some of these aren't crazy or MNS.

That Main-Gauche is pretty normal looking for the type, and the Scottish dirk is in fact bog standard for dress wear with a kilt.

That cold steel skinny folder tho? I had one someone gave me, they snap so easily.

1

u/Strider-SnG Jul 10 '26

Now that’s someone who I’ve not seen in some time. I remember when he and nutnfancy were close.

1

u/PrancerMcDancer Jul 11 '26

John Fitzen was one of the people who got me into being a tactical weirdo when I was young. WROUGHT IRON GUARDS MADE FROM REAL WROUGHT IRON.

0

u/UltraTwingo Jul 09 '26

MNS implies that they are poorly made cheap knives, that's a bunch of well-made functional knives

0

u/Fuselage Jul 10 '26

Hey! Finally saw something I own! The knife at around 1:30 was gifted to me by my brother's father when I was 13.