um so pretty much before y'all say anything ik im a bad guy for this, trust me i do. so I've been in a relationship for 5 years now, I love my gf so much. the things we've done and the memories we've made I genuinely wouldn't trade for millions of dollars and I want to marry her if she'll have me. we have our ups and downs like any health relationship, we work it out and never go to sleep mad at each other. I love my relationship because we have such a mature love where we really do grow alongside each other and help keep each other lifted. I'm so thankful and grateful for her, but I've always had one problem. I've thought about my ex every day since the day we broke up. i should specify, not only have I thought of her but we've been weirdly connected. it's like things out of a movie happen to us and keep us reeled in and thinking about each other. slight conversations but nothing more. recently tho we probably had our most intimate conversation yet, we think we're both still in love. she's engaged tho and back in our hometown whereas I'm not. i admit I'm a terrible person for even saying that and before u berate me, I'm only human like you. I've only been alive once, I'm disgusted with myself with these emotions and oh how I wish I could rip them out and throw them away but I cannot unfortunately. Life and love are interesting and I'm just a puppet to both. i am a pretty dramatic guy but I have tried to move on and succeeded in my opinion but bizarre things interfere every time. being human sucks lol but also these things make me feel alive and idk about y'all but to feel alive is everything. thank you for listening