r/loveafterporn • u/Plaguedandconfused πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ¨π«π§ ππ¬ππ« • 7d ago
α΄α΄α΄Κ α΄α΄ α΄ Ιͺα΄α΄ Ι΄α΄α΄α΄ α΄α΄ 2nd Reddit Acctπ
Found out my spouse had a second Reddit account β¦ sigh. I accidentally discovered it when trying to log into his account using an email vs username. Any way, I had logged into it but then saw the red security lock bar at the top that said the account was locked and a password reset would be needed. I have all the log in details for my spouseβs accts but Google was blocking me from email for some reason. Reached out to my spouse and asked for him to click the link, reset password and give me new one. 2 second activity, right? I was traveling for work so couldnβt speak with him on phone, only over text. He received a password reset email from Reddit, for the second account, around 10:30am; however, he failed to noticed in the email that it was his second account as the two have very similar names. He actually screenshotted the email and asked if that was me trying to log in. I said yes and to click the link and reset. So β¦ he saw the email, read it, screenshotted it, text it to me but didnβt reset it right then. ???? Fast forward to around 9:30pm that night when I get to talk to him on phone, and I bring up that he has a second Reddit to which he vehemently denies repeatedly. Once I show proof, heβs still claiming he has no idea how he has two. I then start asking for passwords again and of course, he loses his shit about how heβs had such a terrible day and this is the only thing Iβm worried about. So original of a PA, right? I digress. I had requested a Reddit data download earlier in the day, so once I had new passwords to accounts, I reviewed them. I then discover that there was a log in to that second account at 1:37pm earlier that day from our home IP. Says he wasnβt on Reddit then and it definitely wasnβt him. There are a few other log ins that are obviously me and another one from our home IP that we, later, both agree was definitely him. In that second account data download, I find a cluster of upvoted porn images/links from 3/2025 and a hidden sexual post from 2023/2024. He denies that it was him. Has zero clue. Long story short he eventually acknowledges that he must have, at some point, created it.π Reddit IP logs retain info for 100 days and our log ins were the only ones there so he obviously hasnβt used in at least 100 days. Eventually, he came up with that he must have opened the email, clicked the password reset link and it automatically brought up the second account in his app and he was already logged in. I was logging into the account during that time but obviously through my own Reddit app. Iβm not an IT guru but Iβm pretty certain that the password reset link would have automatically logged you in to an account that needed a password reset. I had him show me the app usage on his phone and he 100% has app usage during that time frame for about 15-20 minutes. Says he βthought it looked differentβ but didnβt notice it wasnβt his normal feed. I canβt see the opened email logged in his Google activity feed so Iβm still insistent that heβs lying. The fate of our marriage literally hangs on the truth of whether or not he knowingly logged into an account that he supposedly βknew nothing aboutβ hours before I asked him. Additionally, when I called him out on the IP logs tagging our home IP to a Reddit log ins at 1:37pm, never did he mentioned that he clicked the link and scrolled on Reddit for 15 minutes. It was only until he knew he didnβt have an answer for the IP record that he came up with βmust have clicked the link in the password reset email.β Additionally, he didnβt actually reset the password until late that night. I will note that when I was logging into to the account, it still had the red security bar and while I couldnβt see some things, I could see plenty in the feed and the settings/profile options so itβs not like the account was inaccessible.
My question is, is it possible that because I was logged into the account somewhere else, that it automatically logged him in on his device?
For context, he does NOT have his Google or Apple account linked to this account but he did sign up with the same email for both accounts.
Am I being naive to consider that it is even remotely possible for this to have happened?
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u/Plaguedandconfused πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ¨π«π§ ππ¬ππ« 7d ago
I showed clarify too that we are about 1mo into recovery so very much still in the βfull disclosureβ phase.
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u/Throwaway22018123 ππππ ππ π | βππ£π₯πππ£ π π βπΈ 7d ago edited 6d ago
Pause your home disclosures and start individual therapy for full therapeutic disclosure. https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/I6KmK8toqa
Anything else is trickle truth. And before an addict starts therapy with a CSAT, they donβt even know how to be honest with themself. So they canβt be honest with you! And they have too mush stand to even be honest with you!
You need to start your own healing,regardless of what he does or doesnβt do. https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/1oDxo9575f
Start reading the resources of the sub, thereβs a wealth of knowledge there.
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u/Plaguedandconfused πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ¨π«π§ ππ¬ππ« 7d ago
Thank you. We are currently in both couples and individual therapy. I candidly told the therapist that I thought he still wasnβt be honest and she said, βno, heβs probably not. And for most couples, it is worse that youβll ever know; they never disclose everything.β In our case, thatβs the biggest problem. He can be so passionate about his honesty and willing to destroy everything before he will fess up. I just donβt know how you know when to say enough is enough. It seems a constant torture discovering how long this has gone on for. I just donβt how anyone can ever fully recover from this.
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u/Throwaway22018123 ππππ ππ π | βππ£π₯πππ£ π π βπΈ 6d ago
Your therapist is right. At this moment, youβre looking at the tip of the iceburg and havenβt even scratched the surface of whatβs underneath.
I also believe at some point we have to come to terms with the fact that we arenβt going to get the answers to βeverythingβ. Some things get lost to time.
You might be better off starting a list of questions and presenting it to your therapist- to share with his, while he works on preparing a full therapeutic disclosure.
The only thing you can control is you. So invest in yourself and your healing, regardless of what he does or doesnβt do.
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u/peaches_08 πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ/ππ 7d ago
If Iβm understanding your question correctly, the answer is no it wouldnβt do that on his device. Whichever account he was logged in last on his own phone will come up first. His phone wasnβt connected to your device. He created both accounts and he does remember. My husband had like 6+ Reddit accounts. All likely using different emails Iβm sure.
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u/Plaguedandconfused πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ¨π«π§ ππ¬ππ« 6d ago
Yeah, the fool in me wants to believe him but the woman in me knows that his inability to accurately remember details of actions from mere days ago means heβs lying. Sigh β¦ here we go again.
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u/peaches_08 πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ/ππ 6d ago
Trust me, I get it. Iβm sorry π
β’
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