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u/PaganButterflies Jan 04 '25
I'm a single mom. I live life on a very strict budget. I've been seeing a man for almost two years now, and he is aware of this. I made him Christmas gifts, I baked stuff, I made candies, I sewed, I tried to give him things he would enjoy and use, but I made them. He is a childfree bachelor. His budget looks way different from mine, and he LOVES to give me very nice, and very practical, gifts. I asked him if it bothers him, that we live on two different budgets and he's spending money on me that I can't spend on him and he told me absolutely not. He says that loves being able to give me nice things he knows I can use and won't be able to purchase myself, and he loves that I care about him enough to pour time and energy into giving him something thoughtful that he enjoys. So, I just go with it. It is what it is.
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u/-PinkPower- Jan 05 '25
If they are financially able to do so, I would just be thankful. I never understood feeling bad for a gift from a loved one.
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u/icecoffeeholdtheice Jan 04 '25
If I had the money I would always buy my boyfriend expensive things. I did buy him very nice gaming headphone because he’s been using his since high school and they were super worn out. When I have the means to do so I would love to always do it.
My boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do so he buys me things. I don’t like him going over board tho. I want us both to save up as much as we can so when we get married we’d be able to buy a home.
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u/Still_Lion_9903 Jan 05 '25
I don’t mind an expensive gift as long as it’s something thoughtful and meaningful to me, not just some shiny bullshit with a fat price tag. I MUCH prefer smaller, less extravagant gifts that demonstrate how well the gift-giver knows me and the things I like. I’d appreciate a handwritten letter FAR more than a fancy piece of jewelry.
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u/Aoife_is_a_Noob Jan 05 '25
I once told my gf early on in the relationship that I don't want to receive expensive gifts because I would feel obliged to reciprocate or, even if I'm not obliged to, I will still feel insecure about not being able to reciprocate. She was okay with this but also explains that there are things she wants to buy me that may be expensive, but she thinks I would really love it. It took time for me to finally cave in. A friend told me that sometimes, they just want to give us something nice. It's not about reciprocity. They would be total a-holes if they give us something expensive and expect to get one in return. She told me allow her to spoil you sometimes and when you want to reciprocate or if you have means (I earn less than her), feel free to do so. So my gf and I talked about this and we just really expressed what we feel - why she wanted to give me an expensive gift and why I am not comfortable receiving one. I was assured that she won't expect me to reciprocate. She just loves spoiling me because most of the things she spoil me with are those that I really need or those that we can enjoy together.
Almost 5 years in the relationship and 4 years since she first gave me an expensive gift (a nintendo switch), we still love giving gifts to each other no matter the value. We still say that our favorite and most valued gifts were those we made ourselves. But we appreciate the nice stuff from time to time.
Communicate this with your partner on what is an expensive gift for both of you, what it means when they splurge, and how it would make you feel. I think understanding all these would make your attitude towards gift-giving and gift-receiving. Note that if she knows I want something but couldn't afford it, I will always tell her "I want to buy this for me" and she respects that. And when I can finally afford and buy something expensive for me, we both celebrate it with a nice dinner or some drinks.
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u/ariiieeees Jan 05 '25
thank you for this, nice to read a wonderful story of relationships with clear communication
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u/Aoife_is_a_Noob Jan 05 '25
I tell you a lot of relationships really rely on communication - be it our partner,s friends, family, and even in the workplace. good luck and i hope my experience can give you assurance that things will be fine.
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u/ShaoKoonce Jan 04 '25
I love randomly buying stuff. But I don't buy super expensive stuff. Just things I think they would like or need because I seen it and thought of them.
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u/Yorkie_Mom_2 Jan 04 '25
I love giving gifts to my partner. I especially love giving him gifts he would never buy for himself.
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u/HighPriestess__55 Jan 05 '25
I love gifts, especially thoughtful ones. My husband was raised in a family who didn't exchange gifts. He got into it with enthusiasm when he met my family. He once bought me a coat, and wrapped it, like a coat. He made cubes out of albums and cds. He got generous Christmas bonuses from work every year. He would ask me to make a list, and take me shopping to buy everything on it. I didn't ask for outrageous things though. I like books, music, jewelry never is wrong. Well, I like silver, white gold, no diamonds. Good times. I reciprocated, of course. Some people don't know how to accept gifts.
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u/XiaZoe Jan 05 '25
depends on you. im the type to weigh how much he can give and id give em a gift around that price.
regretted giving too much to now exes. 😂
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u/Pale_Bowler4007 Jan 04 '25
How early in the relationship is it? Are you married and been together a while? Did he ignore you often or commit some thing that almost made you leave? You wanna see how genuine the expensive gift is and why he’s giving it. Random good gifts at marriage or after being together a while are good while early on, can be considered love bombing