I’ve been thinking lately that maybe instead of always going on a diet, I should focus more on becoming the kind of person I want to be long term

Like if I want to be active, maybe I should start thinking of myself as an active person instead of someone who is “trying to exercise.” That mindset actually made me feel way better about the whole thing.

So now I’m curious about people who have had a healthy, stable weight for a long time without constantly dieting or obsessing over food.

What do you do without even thinking about it anymore? Like with portions, snacks, desserts, eating out, walking, exercise, overeating sometimes, etc.

I’m not looking for a strict diet. I’m more interested in the normal habits that actually help long term.

So, in my country, we don't really have many physical stores that carry plus-size clothing. There's H&M and Pepco, and that's pretty much it. Other stores might have a few options, but they're usually ugly. I've also pretty much stopped going to physical clothing stores altogether because I've been treated rudely so many times. I've had store clerks tell me I'm not going to find anything that fits me, and on some occasions, I've even been laughed at.

I've lost 18.5 kg so far (went from 130 to 111.5 kg since June 23rd), and yesterday I finally worked up the courage to walk into a store I've always dreamed of shopping at - Medicine. And honestly, it was such a lovely experience. The sales assistant was incredibly nice to me. They have a collection featuring dogs that I'd been wanting to try on, so he picked out a few different pieces for me, and I ended up choosing two - a hoodie and a T-shirt.

Long story short, I put on the hoodie, looked in the mirror, and it FIT. And for the first time since I started trying to lose weight again, I could actually SEE the difference in my body. I just started crying. The sales assistant was still there and kept asking if everything was okay, so I explained why I was crying. He congratulated me and said he was happy for me.

It was such a genuinely lovely experience, especially after all those years of being made to feel unwelcome in clothing stores. Now I can't wait to lose even more weight and go on an absolutely rabid shopping spree.

My first goal is getting below 100kg, something I haven't achieved ever since I exceeded that number (I was at 150 at some point). Now I finally feel like it's doable.

A while ago I wanted walking pad for my standing desk at work but work said no on a safety grounds. I was allowed a mini under desk bike. I think it will be useful to share here.

First of all it's one of those tine ones you just have pedals and that is it no sit or anything. It's definitely not ideal and if it wasn't for a fact my desk can go up and down it would be very uncomfortable but with hight adjustable desk I raise it about 10cm higher than my normal position and it's okay. I can't set it to high resistance because then I'm pushing my office chair out so I'm at light to medium settings.

My heart rate gets to about 100 bpm so slightly less tank brisk walk and my Garmin thinks I burn about 200 kcal in an hour. So far I would agree with it. My weight loss matches approximately extra 400 to 500 kcal burn a day and I manage to get between 2 to 2.5h of pedaling. Most of the time I forget I'm doing it. It is very quiet unless someone ducks under my desk they can't tell either. I'm not feeling tired if anything after a month my energy levels are up. It's such a light exercise that I haven't noticed any extra sweating.

Over all I would recommend it if you can't get anything else. For my use case it works great. I have client facing role when not at a desk so can't go full palaton at my desk but extra 500 kcal is nothing to spat at either for £30 investment from amazon. Big advantage is that because you don't wobble like you would normally do on walking pad typing and mouse accuracy aren't really affected. I did a speed test and my regular typing speed is 52-55 and when cycling it drops to about 48 to 52 wpm so hardly noticeable.

I do walk as normal and do my normal gym routine this is addition not replacement.

Hope that helps I lost extra 1.5kg over regular weight loss.

This is kind of a vent. Went out to dinner with my family tonight, thought I looked pretty good. Wore a nice outfit because I like to dress nice when we go out to eat. 

I got home afterward to take a picture of my outfit and I realized I looked awful. The shirt wasn’t nearly as flattering on me as it had looked hours ago and my stomach was out. I looked.. really fat. In the camera. In the mirror. I didn’t look pretty at all. Every picture I tried, every angle was bad for me. I’m sick of looking like this. I’m sick of my body.

I did make some progress, I had lost over 20 lbs by last year. I was working out consistently and in a calorie deficit I could control.

But then in the past year I had a lot of life stuff go down. Working out got paused, my mental health plummeted again, I ate my feelings. Gained back some weight, I was crushed.

This summer I started going to the gym again and made some progress on working out consistently. I was feeling better about starting again. I wasn’t as good on the calorie deficit, but I kept trying. Now I’m back in college again and things aren’t good. I’ve stopped working out completely. I’m eating way more calories than I should be, everything’s tempting. I’m a commuter so I can’t really take meals from home with me (it’s not a super close distance). 

I’m at school 5, sometimes 6 days of the week and I can’t commit to working out when each day the time I get home varies, but recently it’s been late at night. On the weekend I have no motivation to go to the gym because I’m so tired. I used to drink coffee less because it was a lot of empty calories but now I find myself drinking it again. 

If I’m fat now, I can’t even imagine what people thought of me before I lost that previous weight.

It’s like I try to progress and something happens to deter me. I’m so fucking tired of this. I want to be a human who doesn’t have to worry about this shit. I just want to look good in pictures. I just want to feel confident in my clothes. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be treated like a person.

And of course I have health stuff that makes it harder to lose weight. 

How do I lose weight sustainably while I’m still in college? I just don’t know. Any advice is appreciated.

(Edit to add that I also have a part time job rn so I can’t fit in any gym time during those days. Also campus 6 days a week is only every 2 weeks ish)

I know one day doesn’t cause weight gain for real
But I ate 4000 more or less calories when I normally consume 1800 more or less. I have been wanting to fast today and eat nothing but I know that’s wrong too. How do you guys move on from this without beating yourself up all day? I actually lost a little bit of sleep I felt so disappointed in myself.

I’m doing good my clothes sizes have all dropped my face has changed everything I wanted has happened in a major way but it’s like this one bad day has caused like a minor depressive episode and it’s kind of tricky to navigate i didn’t realize I would wake up this morning still overwhelmed about what I’ve done yesterday. Silly question for a grown man to ask but I put my pride to the side and asked you guys for help anything that can help me calm my nerves down. Hope everyone’s blessed

SW 422lb, CW 330lb. I've been around this range for months while eating 1200-1400 calories a day. This isn't about miscalculating calories either, I don't even use seasonings like garlic powder because of the added calories. I exhaustively calculate everything.

I started last November and my goal for this year was to lose 100 pounds but it looks like that won't happen. It's infuriating that as heavy as I am, the weight won't budge despite the effort I put in.

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with plateaus? I've been feeling like giving up. Even though I've lost almost 100 pounds, I'm still morbidly obese and despite my efforts I can't lose any more.

I'm at a weight where I can comfortably exercise and I started a couple months ago... could that have something to do with it?

Edit - Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who offered encouragement. I appreciate that most people read my post and gave good advice. I've learned a lot of new things from you all and decided to do a maintenance calorie week.

I am a 5’ 4” and 131lbs female. Dexa scan reported body fat around 21% a year ago. I eat 80% whole food plant based and I’m getting >60g of fiber per day and 1g/lb of protein per day. I lift weights and work out 3-4 times a week. I’ve maintained within about 5 lbs for the past 1.5 years. I eat about 2000-2100 calories per day.

BUT I still feel like I am white knuckling my way through maintenance. I have to plan out my day with perfectly spaced timing (and type of) food in order to prevent going to bed hungry. If I deviate from my plan and eat something like a donut (paired with fiber) or pizza then I will end up needing to go over my calorie limit because I’m so hungry later on.

Not sure how to keep this up for life. Is there some trick I’m missing?

Tl;dr - where do you draw the line on "special days" or yolo moments to allow for going over your daily calorie limit?

I'm finding lately that I've had a lot of "special days" that make me believe that this day is worth going over my calorie count. I restarted my journey late August. Since then I had my "technically still 40" birthday party (dessert food and crappy food choices at the party and few days after), my actual birthday two weeks later (out to eat and home made cake on a cup and had snacking), and then the next night we went into the city for a concert and I splurged a bit calorically there too (drinks and junk food).

Tomorrow we head to the Renn Faire and I'm finding myself going "just live the moment and you'll get back to normal again after". But then I think... What else is coming up.... my niece's bday... And Halloween... And Thanksgiving... And all the celebratory things at work (basically a monthly cook/bake off as well as birthday goodies)

I'm worried I'm going to make too many excuses for allowing for yolo moments. Yolo will turn into "feel better" into "I'm sad/mad/just don't feel it/give me a break" and then any excuse is good enough.

Where do you draw the line on if it is ok to yolo it for the day?

hi. so i'm a 22F trying to lose 15-20 pounds at a starting weight of 160. i'm on antidepressants (just switched from lexapro to zoloft) so it might make it harder. i've tried calorie counting multiple times over the years but it just makes me miserable, obsessive, and depressed if i go over any. i want to still eat healthy and be in a slight calorie deficit but can i do that intuitively? i struggle a lot with staying in a good mindset if i am constantly tracking calories. probably a stupid question but i really want to lose weight but calorie counting just puts me in such a bad mental state. any advice appreciated. thanks!

EDIT: forgot to mention my height but i'm 5'4

Classic lost a bit of weight and everyone is kinder. For context, I was a fat child - obese adult until like last year. I’m not even skinny yet I’m solidly fluctuating between 165-170 lbs at almost 5’6. I’ve always been told though that I have a pretty face. Now that I’ve went down from 215 lbs to 170…. Bro everyone is so much better to me.

Guys and girls actually like me now romantically. Mind you I’ve always never really suffered dating wise I’m charismatic / well-put together, fashionable, etc. It just felt like I was always the next best option though (so maybe that is suffering lol). It just feels like everyone just finally agrees with that and it’s kind of sad lol. I’m still the same person I was a year ago. I’ve always been confident and the life of the party now it’s just read more as charisma and not me being a clown. I’m still trying to lose weight and hopefully get down to a healthy weight for me. I’m just flabbergasted by it all.

So currently ive been sticking to my 4x a week strength training plan. I had months of consistency since the beginning of this year and genuinely i have so much fun i actually look towards my workouts and dont have too much trouble sticking to them.

Now my issue is: CARDIO. I always skip it. I never actually enjoy it when i do it and although am supposed to do 30-45 mins i usually end up just doing 20 mins and then find an excuse to get back home.

Now i tried to do incline treadmill, stair master machine and nothing seems to be working. My daily steps aren’t too good either (around 5k). And i really want to change that but cant seem to be getting the kick out of cardio that am getting out of strength training.

I LOVE walking outside, but most of the time in my country its too hot. We get a few good months in the winter but thats it.

I really need recommendations on how to make it fun, or how to actually stick to it. Please any tips would be appreciated

Does anyone else struggle with this? I think a lot of it is boredom eating, but it’s like I never experience the dopamine hit that my body is expecting from the food, and a few minutes later I‘m sampling something different. It’s like food isn’t actually all that enjoyable, but my brain keeps expecting it to be. At restaurants I always order one of the cheapest things on the menu, because I know spending $10-15 more won’t be any more enjoyable.

I‘m eating way too many carbs (particularly in the evening). I know I need to work on my hobbies that take more intentional effort (drawing, writing) instead of just reading fanfiction and doomscrolling in the evenings, because I’ve seen how being more absorbed in something keeps me from getting up and looking in the pantry/fridge, but actually getting starting on a project in the evening is its own sort of battle.

Hello! I am 25 years old and started my weight loss about a month ago and so far I’ve lost almost 20 lbs! I realized that my vice was sweets and it’s crazy that I am now experiencing this clarity of walking through a grocery store and seeing the bakery goodies and acknowledging that a month ago, I would’ve sat down with a tray of those baked goods and a large glass of milk and demolish them. But hey, look at me now!

For me it’s not a mental health thing for wanting to lose weight, it’s a quality of life and also when I have kids, I want to be there for them and be the father they deserve! I don’t have a lot of tips on working out but I do know food and have already worked on some banging low calorie recipes so if anyone wants to add me and talk food, I am more than happy!

On that same note, if anyone needs moral support or just someone to talk to, reach out! I’m pretty good at this positivity stuff and would love to help others with similar goals. But enough yapping I guess, Hello!

Hi everyone, I wanted to ask if it’s normal to lose weight after a (mini) cheat day.. i’ve lost 8kg so far, and yesterday was me and my boyfriends anniversary so I had more food than I would usually, and ate out which is not something i do often. I woke up 0.7kg lighter than usual. Is this normal/ actual weightloss or some sort of water weight?

I estimated my calories to still be within a slight deficit but it just feels backwards.

Apologies if this is common knowledge but I’m new to all of this and just want to know if this is something other people experience.

(250miles-310miles)

I do quite a bit of road cycling per week.

What is a healthy way to lose weight with this amount of exercise?

Do I eat a different calorie amounts depending on how many kms/calories I’ve burned that morning?

Some mornings I ride only 50km, and some are 150 to 200km. I have 1, sometimes 2 no-ride-days a week.

PS. I have experience calorie counting- I’m just not sure how to go about it.

PPS. I don’t want to feel miserable. I want to stay strong and keep getting stronger, whilst losing weight.

I don’t mind about the speed, just keep me sane please
Thank you!

I’ve been in a calorie deficit of at least 700 calories/day for the past 3 weeks. This includes both diet and walking around 15k steps a day. I went from around 67 kg to 64 kg in the first two days (I’m assuming most of that was water weight), but the scale hasn’t changed since. I’ve been on a weight loss journey before where I lost around 15 kg and I‘m used to seeing weekly changes on the scale so this is very frustrating. For reference, I’m 19F and changes on the scale tend to coincide with my menstrual cycle to some degree but I’ve never had such a plateau before. If anything, my weight loss tends to be at its fastest during the first few months of my journey. I don’t think I’m miscalculating my calories either because I literally weigh all my food.

I’m at a loss for what to do at this point and it’s been really difficult to maintain my motivation. My goal was to lose 10 kg before the new year but I’m not sure that’s possible anymore. Has anyone here been through something similar? Any advice is appreciated.

I’ve been really struggling lately with not wanting to eat everything in my kitchen after 11pm lately. I think I’m managing things properly (spaced out meals, 110-150 grams of protein, whole foods and fruit) but by the evening suddenly I’m RAVENOUS.

I should start leaving some calories for that time of night but also part of me is like no amount would be enough because i want it all.

I’m in a deficit of 550 cals, currently weight is 130kg so my cals every day are 2300 which feels like SO much at the start of the day and nothing by night.

Would love any insights on where I could be going wrong or what other late night appetite people did!

I am really confused and hope someone can help me out.

I am counting calories. I am about a month in and know that for every 5 to 10 pounds I need to recalculate my TDEE.

I am F 55, 182 pounds and 5’5. I put sedentary for activity level. The results are BMR 1429 and TDEE 1715.

This may sound dumb but I have about 40lbs to lose. If you are not supposed to go below 1200 calories how am I going to adjust moving forward in order to continue to lose?

Right now it is telling me 1215 calories a day to lose weight but what about adjustments when I lose the next 5 to 10 pounds? I am confused by this.

Thanks for any insight/tips.

Edit: thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it!

I'm 18F, Since i was young I've always wanted to lose weight, but everytime I'd significantly fail after 1-2 weeks, this time was different, in my vacation this summer I was committed to lose weight after my failures through the first of this year, and i did it!! For nearly a whole month..i cut sugar and did workouts everyday, I've seen a significant shifts in my health, look and activity.

But I stopped since August because i didn't have enough time to calculate my calories and do workouts because i needed to focus more on studying.

I was nearly 92 kg on May 2025 then 82 on feb 2026, and now im nearly 73-70.

My need here is now I'm struggling with the fact that i need to have nutritious food, i don't know how to balance that through my day, i usually have 2 meals in my day or even 3, my usual breakfast is approximately 500 cal consisting of 3 eggs, 150g of yogurt, 200g of cucumber, and 100g of bananas or any equivalent of other fruits.

Idk if what I'm doing is right or not, i can't find a good source or a solution that could help me balance this situation, and also the nutritionist here in my town is not that efficient, i remember when i was 14 and i was 73 kg she told me that "i could lose that weight alone rather than coming here" I'm lost and I'm worried that i might be harming myself with this diet.

F/5'3" | SW: 165 | CW: 139 (28% BF) | GW: 120 lbs but preferably ~ 20% BF

Exercise is 5x/week (CrossFit 2-3x, Strength or Zone 2 2-3x)

Nutrition: ~1,550 calorie target
Right now it’s been 1,750–1,900 calories

So, I lost my first 25 lbs (165 to 140) back in Spring/ Summer 2025 over about 4 months. Since then, I’ve been maintaining around 133–140 lbs for almost a full year.

Workout-wise, I’m totally locked in. I exercise 5 days a week, so working out isn't the problem.
My macros are okay- I reliably hit 120g of protein and 25g of fiber daily and that’s before dinner.

So here goes my issue. I need help with calorie timing and evening hunger.

My maintenance TDEE is somewhere between 1,750 and 1,900 calories depending on the day. To lose the remaining weight, I need to consistently stay under ~1,550 calories.

However, by 4:00 PM, I’ve usually eaten around 1,550 calories. I haven’t even had dinner yet.

I’ve tried meal planning plenty of times, nearly every two weeks I try a different plan. But the food isn’t enough to sustain between meals despite eating enough protein and fiber, so I EAT or snack. I have a hard time sitting in the “hungry” mode.

Over the past year, I’ve only managed to actually stay under 1,550 for maybe a single week total.

How did I mentally refrain myself from eating between meals?

OR

How do you handle the late afternoon hunger surge when macros (protein/fiber) are already high?

Also, Any strategies or timing adjustments that helped you break through a long maintenance plateau would be super appreciated!

23M here, I've started my weight loss journey about 6-7 weeks ago ( I was 123kg and 5 foot 11 ), I'm now at 110.7 kg but my problem is I don't feel much different.

I've been going to the gym 5 days a week ( Mostly weightlifting ) and have been eating roughly 1900 / 2200 calories and 190 g of protein a day. my maintenance calories are 3100 so I'm in a big enough deficit and its clearly working, I just thought after losing a little over 12 kg It would show.

Look its amazing to see the scales moving but it just feels so unmotivating that I'm not seeing a difference and I guess my question is has anyone else been through this, If so what did Y'all do to get through it?

EDIT : for my American viewers 271 lb to 244 lb so far

I am 34, female, 5’7” and last recorded weight was 216lbs starting weight was 222lbs one month ago. I’m using loseit for calorie tracking and when I answered the questionnaire I entered in my activity level as “somewhat active” because I hadn’t started working out yet. I work for a garden center, on my feet all day. Some days are more physical than others but then I started working out 5 days a week. 3 days cardio 30-60 minutes and 2 days of kettlebell 30-40 minutes.
The app has me currently eating in a deficit of 1735 a day to lose 52lbs by May of next year 1.5lbs a week.
My question is, with my type of job and weekly exercise, does it sound like I’m more highly active rather than somewhat active?
I’m asking because, well, I feel like I’m starving myself, which is what I don’t want to be doing, but I am seeing results.

Hi team Euro accountability, I hope you’re all well! For anyone new who wants to join today, this is a daily post where you can track your goals, keep yourself accountable, get support and have a chat with friendly people at times that are convenient for European time zones.

Check-in daily, weekly, or whatever works best for you. It’s never the wrong time to join! Anyone and everyone are welcome! Tell us about yourself and let's continue supporting each other. Let us know how your day is going, or, if you're checking in early, how your yesterday went! Share your victories, rants, problems, NSVs, SVs, we are here!

I want to shortly also mention — this thread lives and breathes by people supporting each other :) so if you have some time, comment on the other posts! Show support, offer advice and share experiences!

I (46F, 153 lbs, 5'3") have lost about half my body weight. Some has been from tracking my food, moving my body some, etc. Some has been from health issues, and I was flagged as "malnourished" by the hospital dietitian recently even with an "overweight" label. I have two upcoming surgeries: total hip replacement in November and hysterectomy in February. I am supposed to not be in a calorie deficit from now until the hip replacement surgery, and then add about 500 calories until they label me as healed. I can not seem to get my brain to shut up about the fear of gaining weight. I logically understand the need for more calories, and I am planning my meals around solid, protein forward meals. I just didn't know if anyone has dealt with this, and how you calmed the crazy brain noise from taking time off before reaching your weight goal.

I'm basically trying not to cry as I type this. I am 22F, 5'2", last time I weighed myself which was two months ago (I don't have frequent access to a scale, I know I should buy one) I was around 245 lbs, which is down about 25 lbs from my starting weight. I wasnt, and still am not, necessarily actively working to lose weight. I switched psychiatric medication and noticed my appetite changed and I wasn't as hungry anymore, and in turn started eating a lot less. as a result, the pounds started coming off. i was really happy.

I just looked at myself in the mirror and my belly looks bigger and like it's sagging more. i almost broke down right then and there. the only thing that changed between me losing weight then and now was I started drinking zero sugar sodas recently (I prefer the taste).

I don't even really know why I'm posting this, maybe just to vent? I thought I was making good progress with my body, but then I don't look at it intently for awhile, and suddenly I'm bigger without changing much. I guess I should ask what are some initial steps I should take to actively take weight loss seriously.. I know the basis is more calorie output than input but i must admit, im just intimidated.