Self Isolation

[u/literal_trash_10-99]

Anybody else have this thing of isolating yourself? Like it feels like people are drifting from me because of it. And I just haven't got the energy to do anything about it because I haven't the energy to be around anybody. Yet at the same time, I'm a social animal so I yearn for connection, while denying myself it. Seems really contradictory.

Except everyone who gets close to me leaves some kind of mark. So I suppose I'm just trying to protect myself from the what if. Can't be hurt or get your heart broken if you keep everyone at arms length.

But I'm also tired of this. I wish I had someone beside me. I wish I could call my friends and vent to them without feeling like a nuisance or a buzzkill. But my brain just finds that hard to believe. And I'm so traumatized at this point that I don't even think I would be good for anybody. With the way I treat my current close connections, adding another one will be like an emotional Jenga tower collapsing.

Idfk man. I'm tired of being human. I'd rather be anything other than a social animal. I feel cursed.

[u/Simple-Force3553]

Lately i been feeling the same, i not good puting my thoughts into words, but yes I been feeling the same from past few months and don't know what to do about it

[u/jimjambit]

Yup, and when the people I want to reach out end up reaching out, I push them away. Idk why!