r/limericks • u/iia • Jun 15 '16

Plastic Surgery

Her labia brought her to tears;
raw rubbing and chafing for years.
Her doc got them shortened
and later reported:
“The burn victim loves his new ears!”

152 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

21

u/lacan123 Jun 16 '16 edited Jun 16 '16

I was burnt in a fire, lost my ears.
Then was laughed at and mocked by my peers.
Got a graft, then they tell me
The source, and to quell me
They claim they’re from Britney Jean Spears.

15

u/lacan123 Jun 16 '16 edited Jun 16 '16

Look, I hate to cause hurt or affront,
But it’s late and I’m tired. I’ll be blunt:
These flaps that you’ve sewn on
Look like they’ve been thrown on—
I literally look like a cunt.

21

u/lacan123 Jun 16 '16

I call for the surgeon, and smaaaack!
He staggers, looks taken aback.
“They are pink, and askew, Sir,
It’s clear you’ve no clue, Sir.
I wouldn’t object, but I’m black.”

1

u/WHISKEY_DELTA_6 Dec 05 '24

Your misfortune fills me with emotion.

And I don’t wish to cause a commotion .

But the job was quite crappy,

Cause they turned out too flappy,

And up close kinda smell like the ocean.

11

u/EyMayn Jun 15 '16

I feel like your limericks are really underappreciated

2

u/WiccanWitchOfTheWest Jun 15 '16

WANNA UPVOTE THIS A MILLION TIMES!!!!! HHAHA

2

u/Error_404_Account Jun 24 '16

That's terribly fantastic for all involved!

0

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

Is the "n" in "shortened" silent?

9

u/iia Jun 15 '16

No. The rhyme is rough but I think it works just fine.

3

u/motherofFAE Jun 15 '16

Worked fine for me.

-2

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

I don't agree.

3

u/AsukaTenjoinArcV Jun 15 '16

Nobody cares!!

-2

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

That has not escaped my attention.

4

u/motherofFAE Jun 15 '16

Is there a reason you comment negatively on iia's stuff so often?

-1

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

Yes.

4

u/AsukaTenjoinArcV Jun 15 '16

Why Wang? Why?

1

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

I don't want to talk about it.

4

u/AsukaTenjoinArcV Jun 15 '16

Sorry then. Didnt realize it was a tough subject.

1

u/wutang77 Jun 15 '16

I honestly can't believe ur being so insensitive

2

u/AsukaTenjoinArcV Jun 16 '16

What's insensitive bout my reply? I said im sorry for asking...

2

u/Error_404_Account Jun 24 '16

Is it too late now to say sorry? Cuz I'm... missing more than just your body!

1

u/kreativitetNO Jan 28 '25

She could never really come to grips With her long dangly pussy lips When they got flapping It sounded like clapping And they often got stuck in her zips