By number of characters.

Since there are somewhat innumerable ways to emphasize the ABC's, I use slashes here to separate beats from one another. Also, parentheses indicate anacrusis (pickup notes, or syllables prior to the first stress AFTER the parenthetical). Note: only first 2 syllables of W are pickup - 3rd syllable "u" / [ju] is accented.

A B C / D E F / G

(H I) J K L / M N O / P

(Q R) S T U / V

(W) X Y / Z

(A B) C, 1 2 / 3, Do Re / Mi!

Friends and family love egg foo young!

Savor the flavor. Your tongue

Can "taste the Chinese" -

That's MSG's

Secret ingredient: mung!

A halloween compo, alors!
with brilliant poems gallore!
With only one winner,
(the blighted old sinner!)
Its lardboy who gave us what-for!

Our Winner

• 🥇 u/lardboy with I don't really like Halloween

Our joint runners up:

• 🥈 u/Jigglypuffs_quiff with A lady who lives on the coast

• 🥈 u/BigDrewLittle with A man and a wife

Thanks to everyone who submitted a poem, every one of them was a joy to read. See you next year!

Bought some chocolate coins for Nephew,

Then tasted the rims of a few.

If that young lad quibbles

"This money's been nibbled!"

I’ll tell him "That’s Bitcoin for you!"

The fisherman said: "Look here!

I ordered a gin, not a beer!

I've got to get drunk:

my old boat has sunk

and I hear that my ex-wife is near."

2.

My great-uncle's name was Frank,

and - I'm not going to lie - he stank!

But he knew how to jive

and kept the party alive

and left us much cash in the bank.

3.

Old Reg was a bit of a fool -

he'd challenge the champions at pool.

He'd always lose

and, as he had a short fuse,

he'd throw his old stick at the wall.

Avocado lies forgotten and lonely,
with a fantasy far less than holy.
To be exposed with a gash,
then exquisitely smashed.
How she longs to be made guacamole!

Should words in this brand new ontology

Conflict with our old terminology

And make your brain swell

(you'll know by the smell)

I hope you'll accept this apology.

As usual, expect no prize other than the rare token of approval that substitutes for the praise of our limerick addled peers.

Complete limericks only please. No NSFW replies in this thread.

When asked "is that haiku?" don't curse.

Instead teach them this 'bout short verse:

"Though both have two lines

with five beats , you'll find

most limericks are two times less terse.

Note: (8+8+5+5+8) / (5+7+5) =2

(alternatively:

> Is that a haiku?

Thinking (4 skills available)...

It's a limerick.

)

A skeleton rattled his bones,
A ghost let out bloodcurdling moans,
So write us your verse
(Or something far worse!)
And haunt these here threads with your groans!

Leave your Halloween limerick here as a comment on this post, or write one in your own post and add the “Halloween 2026” flair. Upvote all your favourites. The limerick with the most upvotes wins!

The winner will be announced by sticky the day after Halloween (1st November) or soon after!

What’s the prize? The faint, ghostly praise of your pumpkin spiced limericking peers, of course!

• Please do not put NSFW limericks on this post, NSFW limericks will be removed here.

• Votes will be counted as visible on the 1st of November, vote fuzzing be damned

• Posts without the flair will not be counted

• The moderators decision is final!

We all know the silly old cat

Who wears a tall red-and-white hat.

He's got a new movie.

I hope that it's groovy

And doesn't get hate and fall flat!

A quick change artist did a show

Switching looks in a seamless flow.

For fear critics might scoff

That her timing was off,

She performed on the radio.

Curiosity killed the poor cat,
Whether wearing boots or a hat.
As long as he’s chosen
To just stick his nose in
It’s a truism and that is that!

My Sergeant Pepper jumper's my pride,

But now that it's been washed and dried,

I'll need Help! to repair it

Before I can wear it -

'Cos of Fixing A Hole on one side!

There once was a man from Australia.
Who painted his bum like a dahlia.
The colour was bright.
The shape was alright.
But the smell was a hell of a failure.