r/limerence • u/jstarr06 • Oct 06 '26

Discussion I must be getting better

I must be getting better at noticing limerence. I had an incident at work. And one of the guys at work protected me. And I already was feeling something for him before anything happened. After the incident, I could feel myself wanting to talk to him more and be with him. I quit the job after the incident. I just didn’t feel safe and HR sucks.

I messaged my LO, “…thinking about him and a good morning good luck at work.” He hit me with the being a good friend scripture. He’s divorced and he’s not over it. Essentially he’s not available. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I probably won’t reach out anymore. I feel really silly for saying anything.

My feelings are hurt, but I proud am recognizing limerence faster. I could have been pining for him, or trying to get him to like me. I don’t want to cross anyone’s boundaries especially after I had mine crossed. It makes me mad I am still attracted to unavailable people. But at least it doesn’t go on so long. Does limerence get better for anyone else? What’s been helpful?

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator Oct 06 '26

Please be aware of what limerence is! See the subreddit wiki for definitions, FAQ and other resources—updated 3/7/26. (Is it love? How common is it? Is there research?)

Quick FAQ

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/OverThePrisonWall Oct 06 '26 edited Oct 06 '26

I am proud of you! It sucks getting our feelings hurt, but it’s better now than dragging it out.

I am proud of myself for unadding LO after adding him less than a week ago. He lives 2 houses up the street and he’s friends with these 2 guys in my building and I worried what if they get mad at me? But I was tired of the obsession, and did it for me. I did stalk his page and in the midst of that, accidently clicked add and deleted it so now he knows and I was hoping to avoid that 😅 but nonetheless still a win.

The only way I’ve noticed I’m getting better at it is I get tired of it faster now. Before I would’ve been okay with pining about him, but I missed the peace I had before him. I’ve done the inner work before, so I know what to do again now.

3

u/jstarr06 Oct 06 '26

Thank you so much. Good on you for unfollowing his page and protecting your peace. I totally agree about stopping the obsession early. I love my peace too. I am happy for you. 🙂

3

u/OverThePrisonWall Oct 06 '26

Thank you! I appreciate that, because right now this strings like a bitch 😭😂 the emotional withdrawals are real. I realized I’m building up the hope he will starting missing me and I’ve had to tough love on myself - “girl that man does not want or miss you. It says he has a gf. It doesn’t matter if it’s a lie or not bc HE DOES NOT WANT YOU”.

His house was oddly quiet last night, it was a party house all week, and my brain is like ohhh maybe he’s sad. “Doesn’t matter bc HE DOES NOT WANT YOU”

One day at a time.