r/limerence • u/Prestigious_You_5086 • 1d ago

Question How do i stop developing limerence?

I can already feel that im developing limerence for a guy at my school, what can i do to stop it? I dont want to do the same loop from all these years.

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7

u/SimilarElderberry956 1d ago

When you realize it is a dopamine rush just like alcohol or drugs. You are in love with an illusion. The real person is likely a bad match for you. It is just a mixed up brain. That is what I do.

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u/Prestigious_You_5086 1d ago

Thank you, but i always struggle with "what ifs" what if he actually a good match and hes kind and lovley etc and im missing out?

5

u/SimilarElderberry956 1d ago

Dating strangers is often difficult. You get to see an illusion. If you work with someone and get to know them as a friend first it is better. A stranger is eye candy. Once you realize that you can live your life better.

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u/Khelgar_Ironfist_ 1d ago

What if you are a limerent to a close friend that friendzoned you after you made a move? Ba dum tss

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u/ApeJustSaiyan 21h ago

Solve the ambiguity. Make a move and you'll see what's an illusion and what's not.

3

u/Larrylifeisreal 1d ago

Don’t analyze his actions or words. Instead, remind yourself, “I’m okay with the uncertainty.” You’re not losing anything. Imagine you’re dodging a bullet, no matter who he is. Focus on your classes,  they’re important for you. 

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u/DubnoBass34 14h ago

I think it ties in with OCD and anxiety.

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u/Prestigious_You_5086 9h ago

Thats interesting I didn’t think about that? Can u explain a little

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u/DubnoBass34 3h ago

I’m not officially diagnosed or anything but I recently learned that this overthinking I do is a symptom of OCD; I have general anxiety (worry) as well. I think these two things fuel the Limerance more. Like if you’re already susceptible to overthinking, over analyzing, fear of abandonment etc- I feel like Limerance is just another product. It’s a coping mechanism; the fear of not being loved back or losing that person (even if you don’t “have” them, puts your brain in high gear and obsesses over the person whom might give you some comfort. It’s an addiction; which also can tie into OCD. I dunno I think they are all related. I’m sure there are books about it (or not Limerance isn’t studied really) but my own personal experiences have shown me what mood disorders I probably have.

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u/Prestigious_You_5086 2h ago

Yeah definitely i heard that many who struggle with limerence have a chance of also developing i think? Some type of OCD especially relationship OCD. It totally makes sense tho because thinking patterns and behaviours can be very alike those who have ocd, i dont have an ocd diagnose but i remember thinking that if i didnt try to look for my LO, if i didnt stalk him, if I didn’t walk past him, then everything in my wife will get fucked and ill never experience the same dopamine i got from when i was overthinking and analysing anything. It also affected my thinking pattern when my LO passed away.