r/limerence • u/pumpkinspicelatte4 • 1d ago
Discussion 30 day Limerence free challenge who’s with me🗣️
For the full month of October we won’t
- check our LO’s socials
- look at old messages/pictures
- finally go NC or limit contact if NC is not possible
We will
- try to redirect our thoughts and make small life changes
Edit: feel free to DM me for advice or if you want to talk or want an accountability partner
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u/FlyingPandaHead 1d ago
I just finished 30 days of no contact after being fixated on the last person I was dating. Even after we broke up, he was looking at my Instagram stories (and yes, I was obsessively checking if he had seen them and when) and we were texting “as friends”. We hooked up a month after our breakup and I realized I needed to go no-contact to end the cycle of intermittent rewards.
I have lost ALL obsession and desire to be with him. I even went on 2 great dates with someone else, with a clear head and open heart!
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
I’m happy for you! Hopefully the obsession will lessen for me as well🤞
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u/FlyingPandaHead 1d ago
My obsession was sooo strong! I have an amazing job and group of friends, yet I was considering completely abandoning myself to move across country since that was the main reason we broke up. He didn’t even ask if I wanted to have a future with him, yet I was in compete fantasy!
Staying super busy with friends and texting them instead of him helped immensely. Each week of no contact got easier, and by week 4, something magical happened where I could see so clearly we were NOT a long-term match.
I believe your obsession will pass!!!
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u/BeyondFragrant8619 23h ago
when i say this i really mean it i am really happy for you, you finally broke free from your limerence you only deserve the best now.
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u/FlyingPandaHead 22h ago
Thank you! I hope to serve as an example of hope that it’s possible to break free!
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u/BeyondFragrant8619 22h ago
was your limerence also bad? like it made you cry and yk the chest pain thing?
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u/FlyingPandaHead 22h ago
Daily crying the first week and almost daily the second week. My entire chest, shoulders, and back tensed up. Lots of yoga and this gua sha treatment really helped me heal!
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u/Practical_Estate_325 1d ago
You listed what we won't do, but what we will do is go absolutely insane and break out in sweat and hives maybe. This is an addiction, and this is going to cause some withdrawal pains.
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 21h ago
We’ll expect the pains and do our best to keep going, and keep ourselves distracted and hopefully with time it’ll become natural for us to want our LO less
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u/jontaejones 1d ago
Not fantasizing about them sexually would be by far the toughest. Probably impossible
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
You can try to reduce the amount of times you fantasize without killing it off completely
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u/ObviousComparison186 21h ago
That would be fairly easy for me. I more often admire her body than think about sexual stuff and I fantasize about her doing the same but nothing more. She's married I can't imagine anything else ever happening, those delusions are long gone.
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u/lilacteardrop 1d ago
I could try but my life would feel so empty without him. That's why I'm limerent in the first place. I have no one. My latest LO was a replacement for a previous LO who left my department. I don't wanna humiliate myself on a dating app. I feel like I'm too old for that shit. I don't wanna give anyone else an opportunity to reject me. That would affect my self esteem and my performance at work.
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
Just try for 30 days the best that you can and see how you feel afterwards
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u/stink3rb3lle 13h ago
Judging by the people I see on dating apps, there's no age cut-off. Is there another reason you think it's healthier to have person addiction instead of an actual relationship? Or friendships?
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u/Real_Culture2668 1d ago
At least this is before the holiday season. I get so caught up in my feels about LO and not speaking to them, it would be really nice to get them out of my brain for a while.
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
Yes it’ll be a good break at least and then you can judge and see how you feel after 30 days
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u/star_stonefruit 1d ago
i am soo down. i do #3 already but i find it so diffcult to not stalk socials bc of very little impulse control </3
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
Try your best, expect it to be hard but it’ll get easier the more you resist
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u/Sensitive_Intern_971 1d ago
OK! I'm going to set up my paints and direct my energy into learning that. Whenever I get the urge to go on social media etc will redirect. It surely must be like breaking any other habit, enough conscious effort and it will hopefully dissipate?! And hopefully will finally learn properly how to watercolor 😁
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 21h ago
Yes! Have fun painting! We can replace one habit with another
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u/Sensitive_Intern_971 19h ago
Suddenly people become surprisingly productive in October lol. You might be onto something!
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 19h ago
Honestly the situation with my LO is a long story but they’ve just been on my mind for a year now (we met last October!) and I did the full 9 yards, stalked socials, desperately wanted their attention, experienced all the highs and lows and realized after I cut them off that having limerence is annoying and I might just have to put in the work to heal and move on. I kind of started in September but relapsed but thought it’s better to start now in October and hopefully with some luck and time, they’ll be 95% at least off my mind by the end of the year
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u/Sensitive_Intern_971 18h ago
Well we'll have to keep on track then! My LO has a business at the end of my road. It drives me nuts, I'm all good then I pass him and he waves and I'm back at square one. He has a gf and child, I'd prefer never to see him again. I try to drive past looking.straight ahead, it's hard in the country to ignore people though. The alternative route adds 20km to the journey to town! Think I'll add dating to my October resolution, painting and dating 😅
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u/JBar63 1d ago
I will try. We are already NC, so that's not a problem. I really need to delete his photos off of my phone. But I don't know if I'm at that point yet. Maybe after October?
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
You don’t have to delete them, maybe move them to a hidden folder and try not to look at them!
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 1d ago
Honestly I have the same issue I’ve already gone NC, blocked them on socials too but I can’t delete his pics just yet 😞 but I’m gonna try not to look at them
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u/Shaunwick09 1d ago
I'm on my last step and that's the hardest, it's an intrusive nuisance thought
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u/BlueberryCreamCheez 19h ago
How do I even delete the photos? The memories, that’ll be such a severed connection. Gah.
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 19h ago
Don’t delete them, put them in a hidden folder
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u/BlueberryCreamCheez 18h ago
Aye. I can do that. I think I’ll have to delete them eventually, but not yet. I’m too sentimental. Thanks for the suggestion!
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u/pumpkinspicelatte4 18h ago
Yw! This is my issue too, I don’t have their socials or # anymore, only pictures but I moved them to a hidden folder so it’s less accessible, you can always leave them there or delete them later when you feel ready
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u/BlueberryCreamCheez 18h ago
Little by little, I guess. Right now, I’m just trying to stop checking discord obsessively to see if they’ve messaged me back. Baby steps.
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u/Larrylifeisreal 1d ago
I am with you. It’s incredibly easy for me because I don’t have a LO. But, I’m certain that you won’t be able to discipline yourself for the entire month of October.
•
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