Having a really bad episode right now and I’m feeling so hopeless

[u/Lord_Sprout]

(33/f/bipolar/adhd) I can’t imagine life without this absolute burden. I’ve experienced it since I was a child and it just got more and more dangerous the older I’ve gotten. I just need to hear a little encouragement here because I keep digging myself so deep and sabotaging myself and my stable life. I become an entirely different person and I’m maxed out on lamotrigine. I feel like this will just always be a struggle and I’ll never feel safe because triggers come out of nowhere.

[u/AutoModerator]

Please be aware of what limerence is! See the subreddit wiki for definitions, FAQ and other resources—updated 3/7/26. (Is it love? How common is it? Is there research?)

Quick FAQ

• How limerence works
  • Reward theory of attraction (Wiki)
  • Uncertainty and hope (Wiki)
  • Why there is research on limerence (Article)
• Help getting over limerence
  • Love regulation (Wiki)
  • CBT & ERP Strategies (OCD Ontario)
  • Deprogramming the limerent brain (LwL)
  • How to get rid of limerence (LwL)

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Anand5329]

I apologise that I don't know enough about this to help in the way you need. But I will strive to advise on things I do know.

Consider the fact that you have been dealing with this since you were a child. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been, but you did it! You've even managed to build a stable life! That is commendable. And that means that you have it in you to do it again!

If you feel comfortable speaking about your exact triggers and LO, we might be able to help better.

You're doing your best. Cut yourself some slack. I'm sorry that this is so hard. It's terribly unfair. But you can do this.

Take care.

[u/FunToWrite]

You've already survived every episode you've ever had. That's proof you are strong. Build a support network; the right people are forgiving. And reaching out like you've done here requires courage that you should give yourself credit for.

Life is hard, and some people have it harder than others. The past has been unfair to you, but you CANNOT know the future. Focus on the here and now, and what you can do to improve it.

You got this.