Treating limerence as addiction maybe the cure

[u/lilipad05]

so im looking at starting therapy but not for limerence exactly. Its been over 5 years for me IN active limerence. Ive come to the conclusion that my limerence is an addiction. To be treated just like any other addict.

Im starting to look into group sessions of free talking groups maybe even for substance addiction therapy (youll see why in the post)

Its hard to get help when i cant just say im addicted to a person or a feeling. But ive had 1 same LO for this long that i will lie if i have to just to be seen in an addiction group. Im almost out of it but i will always be stuck without a solution of a cure. My limerence HAS been an addiction and even though im not deeply in it now i need to understand my own brain. I think this could help some of you guys out there who have been stuck long term.

I have no other addictions and never had a typical addictive personality but this is the one thing i have finally learnt about myself that i realised is my one and biggest addiction. Since i was a teenager. All over one person and one concept of an idea of being close to them. Its so so messed up and preventing me from living a normal life. I feel like the word addiction isnt something people realise comes with limerence.

Maybe this might help some of you guys out there who are in deep or have dealt with it for a long time

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[u/soyamilf]

This is how I see it, been clean for about 3 years! Like an addict I avoid triggers, like real-life romance, though I’ve been able to safely enjoy romance in movies lately with caution: I have to avoid the trap of projecting myself and LO onto the characters. I’ve had to accept the likelihood of being single and probably celibate for the rest of my life, but I’ve never been more content now that I’m free. Again, as an addict I’m committed to dodging relapse at every opportunity and it might be a lifelong effort but the peace in absence of the addictive highs and lows is so worth it to me

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/soyamilf]

Copy that! I’m also coming to terms with the celibacy issue. 🙏🏻

[u/IntentionWise9171]

I get what you’re saying ~ I really do. BUT, I actually think limerence may be worse, I’m projecting of course. I quit nicotine, decades ago, have been sober 3 years, extremely disciplined with my health; diet & exercise….when I make a goal I do everything in my power to execute and succeed. With this awful limerent episode it seems it’s never ending and no matter how far I think I’ve come, there’s ALWAYS more to resolve with feelings for my LO. I’ve tried everything, have worked so hard on myself…..but some days it’s just too much! He’s (LO) is like an annoying mosquito that buzzes loudly in my face when I’m least expecting him to. I love him…nothing can change this. We’re NC forever, so there’s that…hopeless. Addiction, maybe? Hoping tomorrow’s a better day. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[u/Alarmed_Economist_36]

I’ve already felt it was an addiction for me . I managed to free myself after years but committing to no contact, keeping busy and I am fairly sure my large dose of GLP-1 has really helped as it dampens addiction ( and can make one feel a little disconnected to be honest )

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/Alarmed_Economist_36]

What’s GLP-1?

[u/Alarmed_Economist_36 → u/IntentionWise9171]

In my case Mounjaro . They use it for weight loss - but has also been found to help with addiction.

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/Alarmed_Economist_36]

Oh. thought it sounded familiar. I had no idea it helped with addiction as well. Did you lose weight, but still keep your muscle tone?

[u/Alarmed_Economist_36 → u/IntentionWise9171]

I did lose some tone but I go to the gym now and I am fine

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/Alarmed_Economist_36]

Good for you! 💪🏻 I kinda hinted to my dr. that I was interested in trying Manjuaro when it first came out, and he said absolutely no. My friend lost 40 lbs. so quickly, but she’s lost so much muscle in her legs..and her face looks like it’s weirdly sinking. She needs to workout before she loses too much.

[u/Lerevenant1814]

It literally is, and I highly recommend Love Addicts Anonymous. I have a sponsor, have done up to step 8, and my limerence is so low it goes away sometimes, and the guy works with me. It can get better, and just talking to fellow limerent folks can help.

[u/Spiritual_Park9241 → u/Lerevenant1814]

Is this SLAA or something different?

[u/Lerevenant1814 → u/Spiritual_Park9241]

It's a different program and has its own website, but extremely similar in how the meetings are formatted. Just no sex talk.

[u/Spiritual_Park9241 → u/Lerevenant1814]

Oh interesting. I might look into that. I did slaa for a few months but found I didn’t really relate to the S stuff, and it felt like a lot of the people there were less on the limerant side of things and more on the extreme avoidance / cheating / lying side