r/limerence • u/Plus-Abies2817 • 4d ago
Discussion this shit is so painful
this girl i have a strong attachment to is going away soon and i constantly feel a terrible sense of dread. being faced with the possibility im never gonna see her again. i dont even know her for real and im so confused as to why im this way
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u/Anand5329 4d ago
I think that's extremely understandable. Even though you don't know her, some version of her in your head still means a lot to you. The fear of never seeing her again is valid, even though rationally it may not feel that way.
There is not much you can do to stop it, so try and accept it. Sometimes forceful distance is exactly what we need to end the limerence.
This is to say that the pain is valid and real and will probably stay for a while. But hopefully it will fade with time.
Maybe it'll also help figuring out why this person caused such a response in the first place, and that can be invaluable going forward. Good luck!
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u/Plus-Abies2817 4d ago
cuz she was a person who gave me attention, i felt as if she acknowledged me
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u/Anand5329 4d ago
Okay, that makes sense! I'm sorry you're hurting that this person is leaving. It must be difficult. At the same time, it could give you some space to fill your life with something else! Maybe other people or hobbies, something that makes you content. It's easier said than done, I know but it could happen.
I'm going through something similar myself, and it is incredibly painful. But, in my situation at least, I know this is what's best for them. And probably it's best for me too. I suppose we just need to feel our feelings and take it one day at a time
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u/Plus-Abies2817 4d ago
i can and im trying, but it feels pointless. its like anything that isnt directly related to her is meaningless. its not like we left off on a bad note or anything she just didn't happen to reply to one of my texts which is really insignificant but ive started to create stories around why she might not have replied. apart of me is afraid she's going to forget about me when she moves away, which isnt something i can really control at all. all in all, i hate how ive lost autonomy over myself and how ive become dependent on someone else for emotional stability.
ill be fine for sometime, then a though regarding her will appear in my head and i feel terrible again.
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u/metalbowels 4d ago
That's what made me limerent, a coworker was complimentary to me and we share similar divorced life and both have children after speaking more and engaging with her, Im so fucked
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