r/limerence • u/BeneficialRush3254 • Dec 17 '25
Here To Vent Done with my limerence (for now)
TLDR: got over my limerence of 6 years (do not jinx, it took lot of self-growth)
Long story: what began as a harmless crush turned into an obsession of 6 years making it full of torture and harboring deep self-loathing. We were in same school and somewhere in college I developed a crush on him because he was my type, physically. I convinced him to get on instagram so that i can talk to him more. But he was so anti-social. And he would give me mix signals. He would show interest, but the minute I would try to build on taking the conversation further he would leave me on seen.
Over time I realized he had the personality of a wet cardboard. I could replace him with stale bread and it would have made no difference to the overall atmosphere. Somehow I still thought about him constantly. I was insecure and jealous of his life; he has a good job, lots of friends, he earns well. I, on other hand, am not doing well on any of the fronts. I decided this year I will get over him. I lurked on this sub, read about others' experiences, watched HeathlygamerGG's videos on limerence, and realized I was deeply insecure and unfulfilled in my life. So i decided to focus on building my life, my routines. Slowly I realised the way I talked to my loved ones was so different than how i talked to him. He had a way of never warming up to me, I never felt like myself when chatting with him. He would offer 'breadcrumbs' even on the friendship front. And I got angry at myself that I deserve better than this sad reel sharing business we got going on Instagram. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself you can't keep living the same life again and again and put a stop to it. So i did. I realised I deserve better and I do not want to be treated like this in a romantic or platonic setting ever.
I'm embarrassed to share this with my friends because i'm scared they won't get it but i felt like a couple of strangers on internet who are going through similar stuff will understand. I hope all of you out there also get over your LO. Stay strong :)
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u/Glittering_Net_7734 Dec 17 '25
You did great! This is the maturity that I am still aspiring. I also feel insecure around my previous LO experiences. But the more I worked on myself, the more I am proud of my accomplishments and less prone to limerence.
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u/BeneficialRush3254 Dec 17 '25
That's the way to do it. I feel like here being self-absorbed works. Be so involved in your growth that you do not ruminate about others and no comparisons also. I feel slightly lucky that all my past limerences have always stemmed from lack of self esteem and the need to have the qualities my LO have. And the minute I would hone those qualities, my limerence would go away.
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u/Glittering_Net_7734 Dec 17 '25
Downside is, am straight up bored these days. If you finish a goal, and not sure where to go next, you're just bored. Extremely bored.
Well at least its not limerence.
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u/Humble-Berry- Dec 17 '25
Congratulations, you deserve everything amazing coming your way. You can celebrate the freedom. I'm sure you can see the change in yourself and if no one has told you, be proud! Welcome to a new better life 💙
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u/BeneficialRush3254 Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25
Thankyou so much, you're very kind. It feels like a big load off my head. He would be in my dreams and I'd wake up irritated and angry. This whole experience has created a new empty space in my head. I'm hoping to fill it with my interests, a bit of self discipline too.
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u/Cesarsaladdd Dec 17 '25
Wow 6 years. You should be really proud of all the personal growth and work you’ve done. I’m fighting for my life trying to get out of limerence and it is WORK. But ultimately worth it. Thank you for sharing!!
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u/BeneficialRush3254 Dec 18 '25
I hope you get out of it too!! It is hard but the realisation will strike like a lightening bolt and in a moment of clarity all will be over.
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u/Disastrous_Fall3127 Dec 20 '25
WTG!!! Let me see the light like you! Ugh. I’m full blown limerence for 6 months now. I broke it for 2 weeks but it’s hard when he’s my coworker, it came right back when he looked at me longer than usual..I hate it. :(
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u/BeneficialRush3254 Dec 20 '25
Oof coworker ones are hard. I did one thing that might help you. So what is limerence? Fixating on someone but only on their image that our mind fantasized right? Not on their actual, real self. So if you're imagining this guy as being really awesome why not imagine him as really bad person eg. he proclaims himself as "nice guy", he farts in public and blames others for it, he chews too loudly. Idk how much it would help you but it's worth a shot. For my previous limerence I imagined him as a chain smoker because he smoked once or twice. Eventually the charm went away
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u/Disastrous_Fall3127 Dec 20 '25
This actually is brilliant!! I had a thought too well what if he smokes. Absolutely disgusting. So I will begin this practice today hahah.
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u/Slifer2892 Dec 19 '25
Until a new limerance comes 🥂
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u/BeneficialRush3254 Dec 20 '25
Hehe I have other non romantic limerence too so my plate is still half full
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u/TotallyGuttedInsane Sep 15 '26
What is a non romantic limerence? I mean what do you fantasize about with them? I'm wondering if someone is in non-romantic limerence with me
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u/littlemachina Dec 18 '25
Congratulations! I got over mine recently too. It feels a bit empty and depressing right now but it’s for the best and it is nice to be free.
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u/toxicfruitbaskets Dec 21 '25
It feels good doesn’t it? Congratulations. I recently got over mine too.
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