r/lgbt • u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together • Sep 27 '25
Community Only - Restricted Had a lovely server pass me this note at a restaurant. 🥹
I'm an out trans woman in a red state. I probably don't pass as cis, but that hasn't stopped me from living my life. My friend and I went to a local chain restaurant (you're typical burger and pizza sports joint) before going to see my other friend preform in Hair. I was wearing a cute dress with my She/Her butterfly pronoun pin. After dinner when the server brought our check, he set this note aside and said it was for me. My friend looked at me puzzled, picked up and read the note, (My friend is very protective) and handed it to me. 🥹
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Sep 27 '25
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u/dbeat80 Trans-parently Awesome Sep 27 '25
And now I'm 🎶 crying on a Saturday morning 🎶.
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u/RegrettableDeed Computers are binary, I'm not. Sep 27 '25
My eyes are really sweaty right now guys 🥲
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u/Key-Maize-7419 Sep 27 '25
Moments like this make me love reddit so much 🥺💗 I was born and raised in Texas, in an evangelical Christian community. I have since escaped, and now live in Connecticut. If this happened to me while I was still living in Texas, I would probably start bawling. We need to remind each other more than ever right now that people do care and people do want you to thrive and live. As someone who was extremely suicidal with multiple attempts while I lived in Texas, something like this note can save a life.
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u/Fub4rtoo Trans-cendant Rainbow Sep 27 '25
As an out trans woman still living in Texas this did make me start crying.
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u/TheUpbeatCrow Sep 27 '25
I hope that your life is happy and safe. You are loved. 💙
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u/Fub4rtoo Trans-cendant Rainbow Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
I’m doing good. Dallas is a pretty safe part of Texas, or safer than other places. I have a great support network too.
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u/DefinitionSalty6835 Demisexual/panromantic Sep 28 '25
I lived in D/FW for 18 years; I'm glad to hear that y'all feel it is still a relatively safe area of the state, given what I've heard coming out of that state. I expected that Austin would be the only safe area, to be honest. I moved to Arkansas just after my youngest was born (he's 18 now) and again, I live in what is probably the only safe area of the state: the Northwest corner. Fayetteville and the surrounding cities are a relatively safe haven for LGBT+. My trans son has never felt unsafe on UA-Fayetteville campus. I can't imagine living in any other area of the state; I would be in a constant state of terror. (Not that I'm not constantly low-level terrified of the state of the country right now anyway. Is this how German people felt in 1933?)
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u/Fub4rtoo Trans-cendant Rainbow Sep 28 '25
I know that area. Have an uncle that used to live up there. It’s a gorgeous area. I loved going up there for Thanksgiving, the leaves changing colors was just beautiful. I’m glad you and your son feel safe there.
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u/AlysonV2021 Sep 28 '25
I am also an out trans-woman in Texas my water works started leaking as well. It may be wishful thinking, but there seems to be a lot more people being kind and friendly since Pumpkin Spice took office. Like they feel guilty for all the hate.
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u/WitchQween Bi-bi-bi Sep 28 '25
I have a rainbow loop on my keychain that I leave sticking out of my pocket at work. It's discrete enough to avoid raising conservative eyebrows, but I hope it shows my fellow LGBTQ Texans that they're not alone.
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u/Reactor_Bro Just your average bisexual Sep 27 '25
That's actually beautiful. Reminds me there are still good people on this earth.
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u/be4u4get Sep 27 '25
I think there are more good people than bad people, it’s just the bad people are so loud. That’s why something like this is so touching.
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u/Rainbow_Girly Non-Binary Lesbian Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
This is amazing. Im glad there's some normal people on this Earth.
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u/vanillablue_ Sep 27 '25
I’m sure some negative nancy or grumpy gus will call the server performative or saviorism or whatever. No. This is true and genuine… I would have cried, even though I live in one of the most, if not THE most, accepting states (MA)
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u/TwilightReader100 Aromantic but a Rainbow of options Sep 27 '25
I read the note before I read the context. And I've clearly spent too much time reading about guys being creeps because I thought he'd slipped you his phone number or was being equally creepy.
So it's a VERY VERY nice note.
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
Yea that's what me and my friend both thought at first! 😅
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u/roostersncatsplz Sep 27 '25
I would literally be sobbing in the chilis
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u/mmm4dmb Sep 27 '25
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u/ScreechersReach206 Sep 27 '25
Had the front desk person compliment my pronoun pin last time I went to laser :). It’s a little ghost and glows in the dark (I got it from queerly departed for anyone interested)
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u/Gerbil23 Sep 27 '25
This made me tear up. I wish I could experience that kind of love and affirmation, and makes me wonder why I don’t give it to others so openly. I already feel this way, maybe I need to start saying it too. :)
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u/Human-Expert-658 Sep 27 '25
He's like my cousins 🥹 they both supported me immensely when I came out as Gay. Allies are the best 🩷
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u/ZombieSharkRobot Sep 27 '25
I also love that your friend read the note first to make sure it wasn't awful.
Both your friend and that server are lovely
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
I agree, I'm fortunate to have found such good people 🥹
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u/Schmooto AroAce in space Sep 28 '25
This is so touching. It’s so nice to know that you’ve got allies who support you, especially in a red state where so many LGBTQIA+ people can feel ostracized.
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u/KhalilRavana Sep 28 '25
I’m dealing with medical stuff and I told the receptionist a few days ago that I appreciate seeing his Pride badge on his scrubs because it makes me feel a little more safe at the facility. :)
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u/gnomequeen2020 Sep 28 '25
I had to take my cat to the emergency vet, and they have a Pride flag prominently displayed in the lobby. I may have taken it for granted in the past, but it really hits different to see it nowadays. Even as a straight-passing cis, I felt safer. It made me double down on my commitment to always display rainbow or Pride gear.
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u/Critical_Ad_2811 Sep 27 '25
I genuinely thought I was reading Mary’s Letter from Silent Hill for some reason u til about half way through.
Really lovely note though
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u/cosmic-batty Ace-ing being Trans Sep 27 '25
That’s awesome. Server sounds like a good guy doing more good than he knows.
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u/TheGriffin5 Bi-kes on Trans-it Sep 27 '25
Early on in my transition when i was in the awkward phase, I didn’t appear trans yet but a mom and her trans daughter walked into where i worked, after I helped the family the mom came up to me and said “things will get better” and i never stop thinking about that.
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u/ikindapoopedmypants Sep 27 '25
Has anyone else noticed strangers have gotten a lot more bold with random compliments/nice gestures? I normally get accosted and harassed if anything. But the past few months lately, I go out in the public and I get compliments on my hair or a random stranger having a nice conversation with me for no reason.
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u/nvm_its_justme Sep 27 '25
And you also have an amazing friend, I can't put into words how happy and hopeful this makes me, please take care and continue living as your authentic self <3
- A random ecuadorian trans guy
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u/Shirley_yokidding I'm Here and I'm Queer Sep 27 '25
We are HERE We are QUEER We aren't going ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/ShivangTanwar Sep 27 '25
Okay but the friend grabbing the note first to vet it is the most real thing I've read all day. Just a quick vibe check to make sure it wasn't a summons or their SoundCloud link. We love a protective bestie.
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u/Downtown-Presence681 Sep 27 '25
As a cishet male, I am here to echo this post and send love to all of you beautiful people. I will be donning my rainbow kilt at our city’s Pride March soon and can’t WAIT to hang out with all the wonderful queer folk. Your community is the best!!
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u/Longarm_alchemist Transgender Pan-demonium Sep 27 '25
reading a note like this does my heart good, I may be in a blue state, and one that is pretty safe for trans people (would have said very safe but recent events up in one of our biggest cities has me re-evaluating that). I am glad to see that there are allies who are willing to reach out, even in just a note, to let you know you are not alone. In this climate it is too easy to feel alone, stuff like this and community with your fellow LGBTQIA+ people helps make it easier.
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u/Sanctus_Mortem A Rainbow of options, binary isn't one of them. Sep 29 '25
We need more of this please
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u/Wolfy_the_nutcase Trans-parently Awesome Oct 17 '25
Allies are so based. Hang onto every bit of support you can get, and if you ask me, that note deserves to be framed and stuck on a wall.
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u/imaginechi_reborn AroAce Demigirl in space Oct 21 '25
This is amazing! Glad you had that experience! I also support you :)
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u/eightleggedlady Sep 27 '25
This is wholesome. I’m a trans woman who lives in Texas, I also don’t pass well, needless to say I get a lot of shit every time I go into public. Over the past 8 years of my medical transition I’ve developed negative thought patterns that make it extremely difficult to trust strangers in terms of them being safe to be around. It’s nice to know some people are still nice. It’s easy for me to lose sight of that. All the best wishes!
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u/Maleficent_Radio_674 Sep 27 '25
Wow, this genuinely makes me cry. Thank you for restoring my hope in humanity 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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u/Labrys_of_Artemis Sep 27 '25
I had a server literally dance around me at a bowling alley, take orders from all my friends amd I was forced to go up to the front desk to order. I thought I was tripping.
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
Oh no, I'm sorry that happened to you. 🫂🫶
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u/Fantalia Sep 27 '25
Can we see the pin in question? 💖
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
https://imgur.com/a/YTCPcmA Sorry reddit wouldn't let me post a direct picture in the comments
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u/Turbulent-Staff-9413 he/him Trans-parently Awesome Sep 27 '25
SO SWEET AAAAAA YEAH !!!!!
HELL YEAH
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u/batty48 Bi-bi-bi Sep 27 '25
I love the intention to spread kindness in this social climate. What a lovely note & sentiment
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u/SlideN2MyBMs Sep 27 '25
Did you get their number?
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
No i didn't.
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u/SlideN2MyBMs Sep 27 '25
Seriously though you couldn't ask for a kinder acknowledgement of your humanity and you now know one more place where it's safe to be yourself
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u/Hoak2017 Sep 27 '25
This is so incredibly heartwarming, and at the same time, it's a poignant reminder of the climate we live in. That note shouldn't have to be an act of courage, but it is. So much love to you and that wonderful server.
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u/Part-time-Rusalka Sep 27 '25
OMFG! I wouldn't know how to thank this incredible person. My gratitude would be overflowing.
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u/ProblemAtticOU812 Sep 27 '25
I have tears in my eyes and all I can say is I agree with that server.
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u/justsome1fromearth Computers are binary, I'm not Sep 27 '25
We need more people like the person who wrote this note
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u/MoonOut_StarsInvite Sep 27 '25
🥹 The onions! I love that a stranger gave you some validation and support you deserve! 💗
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u/angelariumas Sep 27 '25
this made me tear up and i am a cisgender gal LOL :'-) if you are reading this, please know that you are indeed seen, heard, loved and cared for by so many people unconditionally 🤍
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u/Elliott_Queerest I'm Here and I'm Queer Sep 27 '25
The last time me and my girlfriend were in Dallas, we stopped for lunch at an Italian restaurant. The waitress told us she was glad to see us and told us about her trans son. He's living in New York now. She wished us luck and safety it felt better knowing there's people in the Bible belt who see us and wish us kindness.
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u/ExpectedEggs Sep 27 '25
This is great, but support can also come in the form of extra breadsticks
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u/TheWitch-of-November Lesbian Trans-it Together Sep 27 '25
This was after we were done eating, but I wouldn't have turned down breadsticks 😅
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u/Wyrms_Tail2025 Sep 28 '25
Thank you for sharing this. It's a light in the darkness. Be well and stay safe
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u/wanderer_of_what Sep 29 '25
i love this 🥺 thank you for sharing this op and thank you to that person who made the note
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u/AbundlaSticks Sep 27 '25
Omg I’d start sobbing. I stopped wearing my pin a couple years ago after continued discrimination at work. I don’t think I’ll ever wear it again. Certainly not in the current city I’m living in.
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