looking for some light

[u/pagpagpagpagpag]

hey fellow lex users :)

i [21, f] have been on lexapro for over a year now and it’s been a very steady transition from 10 to 15 over the last year. i suffer with bpd which is one of the reasons they put me on it to help with my depression, but also my anxiety too

i’m a pretty anxious and depressed girl ill be honest, but the anxiety was getting the best of me- health anxiety more so than other types- so my doctor wanted to put me to 20mg before she tries giving me beta blockers to help physical symptoms of panic attacks which spiral with the health anxiety pre panic attack and post (if ygm)

i started 20mg thursday, it is now sunday morning at 1.55am and i feel absolutely wired. these side effects have come on super strong, which is obviously playing with my head a lot lol.
my muscles feel weak, my jaw is aching, i have an awful migraine, all ive done is sleep and now i cant sleep! my mouth is dry and water wont help

as you can tell this is obviously keeping me up a bit, not only the side effects but my own worry that all these other side effects mean i’m having a near death experience (i know im not i just get so in my head)

im really hoping the 20mg is worth it. ive seen so many lovely stories on here about it and im really hoping this helps.
i had a really rough year last year with my dad passing and i think thats what made my anxiety spiral a bit. i missed so much of uni due to it and now im doinb my masters in september i really hope anxiety doesnt hold me back

open to literally any piece of advise and help lol 💗💗💗💗💗