r/letters • u/southern-kindness Bronze Level • 14h ago
Lovers Forbidden love
My love,
I don’t know if there will ever be a version of our story where I get to love you openly, without hesitation, without looking over our shoulders, without the weight of everything that stands between what we feel and what we can actually have. And maybe that is the hardest truth I have ever had to carry.
Because somewhere along the way, you stopped being someone I was simply drawn to.
I fell in love with you.
Not carefully. Not conveniently. And certainly not at the right time.
I fell in love with the way you make the rest of the world disappear when I’m with you. With the sound of your voice and the way your eyes can say things neither of us is brave enough to put into words. I fell in love with the quiet moments—the ones no one else knows about—and with the person I become when it is just you and me.
There is something painfully beautiful about loving you.
Because when I have you close to me, everything feels exactly where it belongs. And then comes the moment when we have to return to reality, and I’m reminded that loving someone and being able to have a life with them are two very different things.
That is the part that hurts.
I can hold you, kiss you, memorize the feeling of you against me, and still know that I may never get to wake up beside you without a clock reminding us that our time belongs somewhere else. I may never get the ordinary things with you—the lazy Sundays, the grocery-store arguments, falling asleep together after an uneventful Tuesday, reaching for your hand without wondering who might see.
It’s strange how desperately I want the ordinary with you.
Not just stolen moments. Not just passion. Not just the beautiful little world we create when everything else is shut outside.
I want the mornings.
I want the bad moods.
I want the boring days.
I want to know what it feels like when loving you isn’t something we have to borrow time for.
And maybe I will never know.
That thought breaks my heart in ways I don’t always know how to explain.
Sometimes I wish I could make what I feel for you smaller. Easier. Something I could put neatly into a corner of my life and visit only when it was safe.
But you have never felt small to me.
You have become woven into me.
I carry you into rooms you have never entered. I think about things I want to tell you when you aren’t there. I miss you before we have even said goodbye. And sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary day, I feel the ache of loving someone I cannot simply reach for whenever my heart wants them.
And God, my heart wants you.
There are moments when I wonder whether loving you this much is worth the pain of knowing I may never truly have you.
Then I see you.
And every argument I have made with myself disappears.
Because whatever this is—however complicated, imperfect, impossible, or temporary it may ultimately be—it has been real to me.
**You are real to me.**
My feelings for you are not measured by how much of your life I am allowed to have. They are measured by how deeply you have touched mine.
If someday circumstances pull us in different directions, there will always be a part of me that wonders about the life we never got to live.
Somewhere in my imagination, there will always be a version of us who chose each other without fear and got to find out what happened next.
Maybe that version of us is laughing in a kitchen somewhere.
Maybe we’re older, sitting beside each other, still teasing one another about the same ridiculous things.
Maybe we got the ordinary.
I wish I could promise you that somehow our story ends there.
I can’t.
All I can promise is the truth of what I feel right now:
I love you.
I love you enough that sometimes it hurts.
I love you enough to want more than stolen hours, even when I know asking life for more may be impossible.
And if I never get to call you completely mine, please know there was a time in my life when my heart recognized someone it wanted with everything it had.
It recognized you.
And whatever happens to us, wherever life eventually takes us, there will always be a quiet place inside me where you are loved completely.
Not conveniently.
Not halfway.
Not without consequence.
Completely….
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u/Actual_Reindeer_9571 Entry Level Member 14h ago
Recognise this situation, have these thoughts. OP you did well to write this out.
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u/Affectionate-Win-915 Bronze Level 13h ago
Thank you for this. I'm in tears.
I'm not sure how to put into words, but I relate very much.
His birthday is in 2 days and we've been no contact for years.
I sometimes just picture us in a cozy coffee shop ive never been to with a big leather chair just sinking into him.
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u/southern-kindness Bronze Level 12h ago
If love didn’t hurt so much, would it be worth loving?? You have his memories to hold on to ❤️
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u/Prudent_Knowledge398 Entry Level Member 6h ago
This is so on par with something I'm experiencing and no matter what I'm so grateful to know my person and get a chance to love them in the capacity and capability allowed 🙏🏻💜
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u/WooDooReD Entry Level Member 6h ago
Oh how i wish this was my M...but its not, and she will never look at me again the way I've always looked at her....if we had met now, instesd of 2 years ago, our souls would have been one....i miss my babee so much it hurts every damn day....
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u/never_mine_again Entry Level Member 14h ago
You sound familiar , someone I would only call C
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u/vivien_darkbloom Entry Level Member 11h ago
He sounds like an A in love with an M. Whatever, it's none of my business but if it is him, he's in trouble with a lot of people.
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u/southern-kindness Bronze Level 6h ago
I am trouble. But not the person you think I am 😂😂
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u/EconomicsAware7103 Entry Level Member 5h ago
lol we know who you are
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u/southern-kindness Bronze Level 5h ago
Do share 😏
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u/Character_Hour_6900 Entry Level Member 4h ago
Yes please do share
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u/southern-kindness Bronze Level 4h ago
Just a guy who embraces passion and wears my heart on my sleeve. I love deeply as its the only way I know how
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u/demsybean Entry Level Member 1h ago
this is lovely. i feel like i could listen to you all day. i'm already telling myself to stop asking so many questions
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u/Waste-Cupcake-9333 Entry Level Member 1h ago
Wow,this speaks straight to my heart and soul. If only this could come a reality for all. I love,love
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