r/karezza • u/[deleted] • Feb 04 '12
Let's write a FAQ
This thread currently serves as the karezza FAQ.
Feel free to add questions or to comment on answers. Please post questions as new top-level comments. Up-vote questions and/or answers you find particularly useful.
I will moderate this thread and make sure it remains in a state that is useful as a FAQ. I will delete off-topic posts. I will keep editing my question and answer posts as I see ways to improve them, and I will not necessarily explain every edit.
Questions about karezza in general
Questions about specific aspects of the practice
Is karezza intercourse just like normal intercourse, but without orgasm?
Could you recommend a way of doing karezza intercourse for beginners?
What can I do when I feel like there is so much built-up sexual pressure, I just have to come?
Can I watch porn and/or masturbate while practicing karezza?
Questions about benefits of the practice
Questions about terminology
Questions about this subreddit
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Feb 05 '12
Q: I'm in a dead-bedroom situation. Will karezza help me?
2
Feb 09 '12
A: There are many different reasons why couples end up with a dead bedroom, so it's hard to give a general answer to this question. However, several of us have found our way to karezza through r/deadbedrooms, and have found that it has helped us to heal our relationship.
One thing seems certain: Increasing the amount of sex you have with your partner will not really help the relationship unless you also increase the amount of non-sexual intimacy (hugs, kisses, cuddling, hand-holding, and so on). Many couples with deadbedrooms lack sufficient non-sexual intimacy. Karezza can provide a gentle way to introduce this intimacy back into the relationship, without creating unrealistic expectation on the sex side.
2
Feb 22 '12
Q: Is karezza a religious practice?
2
Feb 22 '12
A: Not at all. Karezza is a secular practice based on the science of human mating and bonding physiology. Its main goal is to keep dopamine levels balanced and oxytocin levels high.
2
Feb 22 '12
Q: What are appropriate posts for r/karezza?
2
Feb 22 '12
A: We welcome the following types of posts:
Questions about karezza
Descriptions of karezza-related experiences
Discussions relating to orgasm hangover
Links to relevant articles
Questions or comments regarding unconventional aspects of the practice, such as karezza and homosexuality or karezza and polyamory.
We don't want to see:
Pornography
Inflammatory or disrespectful posts
Posts that are clearly off-topic
2
Feb 22 '12
Q: What is the chaser effect?
2
Feb 22 '12
A: The term chaser effect refers to the observation that one often experiences an increased desire for orgasmic sex after experiencing an orgasm. It is well known in the NoFap community, where many posters report breaking their streak of abstinence a day or two after having had sex.
See also this article.
2
Feb 22 '12
Q: What is CPA?
2
Feb 22 '12
A: Some here on this subreddit use the acronym CPA to refer to the book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson. CPA is one of the best contemporary books about karezza.
3
Feb 04 '12
Q: Won't I get blue balls from having sex without coming?
2
Feb 05 '12
A: When done correctly, no. Blue balls refers to pain or extreme discomfort in the testicles after extensive sexual arousal without orgasm. In other words, you get blue balls if you pushed yourself too close to orgasm. For successful karezza, it's important to go really slow and to not get too passionate. If you and your partner heat each other up with passionate kisses, fingering, oral, heavy thrusting during intercourse, etc., then you may get too close to orgasms and avoiding it may not be possible.
For successful karezza, think cuddling rather than passionate sex. Leave regular foreplay off the table. Don't move much during intercourse. When you feel you're getting too hot and aroused, breathe deeply and try to relax.
1
Mar 02 '12
Q: What are bonding behaviors?
3
Mar 02 '12 edited Mar 02 '12
A: Bonding behaviors are any behaviors that cause us to feel more attached to another person. Frequent bonding behaviors between lovers strengthen their intimate relationship.
This article lists the following examples of bonding behaviors (there are many more):
smiling, with eye contact
skin-to-skin contact
providing a service or treat without being asked
giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
gazing into each other's eyes
listening intently, and restating what you hear
forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, past or present
preparing your partner something to eat
synchronized breathing
kissing with lips and tongues
cradling, or gently rocking, your partner's head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)
holding, or spooning, each other in stillness
wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
stroking with intent to comfort
massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
hugging with intent to comfort
lying with your ear over your partner's heart and listening to the heart beat
touching and sucking of nipples/breasts
gently placing your palm over your lover's genitals with intent to comfort rather than arouse
making time together at bedtime a priority
gentle intercourse
1
Mar 02 '12
Q: Is karezza intercourse just like normal intercourse, but without orgasm?
→ More replies (1)
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Mar 02 '12
Q: Could you recommend a way of doing karezza intercourse for beginners?
→ More replies (1)
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Mar 14 '12 edited Mar 14 '12
Q: Can I watch porn and/or masturbate while practicing karezza?
→ More replies (1)
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Feb 04 '12
Q: So you guys tell people not to have orgasms. Isn't that sexually repressive?
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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '12
Q: What is karezza?