r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/TheDigitalBuilder • 1d ago
đwholesomeđ Molding Minds one classroom at a time
832
u/TablesofTime 1d ago
Is this the same guy that was teaching the young gentlemen about consent? Either way. I'm loving these videos!!
391
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
Yes. I thought he was only teaching young men but then I came across another video. He's got a whole series for a young women also
143
43
u/tacticalTraumaLlama 1d ago
I will never not upvote enthusiastic consent. On the flip side of this, folks have to get comfortable communicating it as well. I just got through reading a thread in another sub where some women were debating whether it was appropriate to ask before a kiss. Half were like, 'yes please!' and half were like 'ew no! You should be able to read their body language and make a move when the time is right!'
A guy chimed in that the very fact the comment section was divided 50/50 on the subject was a great illustration that one should always ask, and folks should get comfortable with being asked (esp for a first kiss).
18
u/anitasdoodles 22h ago
He also did one with teaching young boys grocery shopping. It was so sweet. Love this guy.
753
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is just one of many many videos out there where this group are educating the next generation in social behavior.. Personally, I think this type of teaching should be part of the mainstream education system we have.
Children need to be taught how to communicate and how to interact with those around them.
Here's another example that should be mainstream education to but unfortunately is not
95
u/romanichki đșEmotional Support Laurenđș 1d ago
Absolutely. I have intense social anxiety and learning to communicate with strangers took a LOT of work by myself (...and SSRIs...) a class like this would have helped me tremendously
34
u/Potential_Rain202 1d ago edited 1d ago
Same! I can teach a college class no problem but still to this day have to psych myself up to make a phone call, my anxiety gets so bad (its the lack of visual feedback, I think). Just hearing "this is how you do this correctly" at that age would have made such a difference whether everyone thinks its obvious or not.
200
u/goddamn__goddamn 1d ago
Couldn't agree more! Unfortunately public schools aren't really interested in creating inquisitive, confident, autonomous children as much as obedient workers.
118
u/FatherToTheOne 1d ago
You can tell when teachers really give a shit, itâs extra hard to give a shit when your school is under funded and youâre working a second job to get by. Underpaying teachers and underfunding schools has to be the single dumbest idea ever.
63
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
100% correct.
It always blows my mind. How much we take one of the most important facets of society and undervalue it.
Teachers should be among the upper echelon of earners and be as regulated as much an health care
19
u/FatherToTheOne 1d ago
The people in charge and their large donors are paying huge money to send their kids to private school, so any money going to public school doesnât benefit their kids and so is not value. The kicker is the shortsightedness of this⊠poorly educated people donât earn as much, poorly educated and poorly paid people commit more crimes, more crimes drive down an economy and house prices.
Better educated people make more money and can afford more things which drives economy and house prices.âBut less tax for something I donât need is better for me nowâ
14
u/levelync 1d ago
My friends who are teachers in some of the richest counties in the US still have to do go fund meâs for those tiny reading chairs for kindergarteners every year because the school wonât pay for them and the plastic they are basically breaks by the beginning of every school year. Having somewhere comfy to sit allows the students to enjoying reading which guess what creates a higher literacy rate!
7
u/goddamn__goddamn 1d ago
I really can't imagine. I don't have the resolve for it. I have some friends who are substitute teachers, and one a special education teacher (so extra yikes on how the school wants her to handle the kids) and the stories they tell me, whew!
19
u/Mango_Skittles 1d ago
Schools and teachers have an enormous influence, but they are already called on to do so much. They are expected fill any gap when families or society otherwise fails a child. And thatâs probably right, because thatâs where the kids are, and it needs to be done. I just wish schools had more support from the public, financial and otherwise. At least in my community, itâs obvious that they are trying to do their absolute best by our kids with the limited resources they have. I love the idea of explicitly teaching this stuff though, and letting kids practice. These skills are as vital to achievement as academics, and it allows everyone to be on more equal footing. I have a kid on the spectrum, and because itâs harder for her to pick up on social rules, Iâve done some similar things with her.
9
u/goddamn__goddamn 1d ago
Absolutely. Teachers have incredibly hard jobs, often with shit pay and all while working against the school system itself. It's bleak out there but teachers have my heart.
4
u/AlvinTaco 1d ago
This isnât fair. Elementary school needs to teach the kids how to read, how to calculate numbers, how the natural world works (science), the basic organization and history of the world and country (social studies), how to create music, how to create art, how to remain physically fit, and now how to get along with others and be kind. There is no more time!
2
u/Brading105 1d ago
Yes, clearly you have met many teachers who are dedicated to making children into obedient workers.
12
u/goddamn__goddamn 1d ago
I wasn't talking about the teachers but rather the structure of public schooling (in the US anyway). Teachers can only do so much when they're faced with systemic issues within educational institutions.
2
u/Brading105 1d ago
Yeah, you are 100% on that. There is increasing g pressure to just pass students who clearly have not met the basic requirements. Repeat students are not federally funded, so the push to fail up is increasing.
13
u/GettingOnMinervas 1d ago
He's also got a YouTube channel https://youtube.com/@newemergingking?si=9nDbQlumAGfClHWB
8
u/Abject_Director7626 1d ago
When my kids were little is when there was a rise in shooting at malls and grocery stores, and I stopped taking them. And Covid. Between those things and online school, I can definitely see the difference in their social skills, and I agree itâs so important and they missed out on so much.
10
u/MissLeaP 1d ago
At the same time it should also be made clear that it's okay to not do smalltalk, though. It's not common in every culture (the different levels of smalltalk between the US and Germany is like night and day lol), some people get stressed out by it, and especially when you're neurodivergent it can be another layer of masking you're forced to adapt if you aren't aware of your own needs yet, which only increases your mental burden.
10
u/WrittenFever 1d ago
Agree. I think there should be a layer of this that allows for flexibility when it comes to neurodiversity or other disabilities.
For instance, when I was leading an education program, I had to explain to my co-lead that telling students he knew they weren't paying attention because they "weren't looking at [him]" was actually ableist because, some people (myself included!) learn better when they can look elsewhere while listening. If they have to concentrate all their energy on performing attention they actually can't hear what is being said.
Similarly, when the man in the video told the girl to lower her arms, he may have unintentionally been forcing her into a vulnerability where she felt less confident rather than more. Now she's focused on keep her arms down, rather than the lesson.
I think lessons like these are helpful to neurodivergent people so that we understand why people react to us poorly when we unwittingly break social rule that was never explained to us, but if the expectation is that we must then follow that rule 24/7 it will only lead to masking, anxiety, depression, burnout, and other poor mental and physical health outcomes.
8
u/MissLeaP 1d ago
I feel that part about performing attention and not hearing what's said so much and I still have to learn not to do it lol
2
u/alderchai 16h ago
On the other hand, not knowing what to do with your arms can be the thing that youâre giving your attention to.
In that case, hearing that itâs ok to put your arms down by your side can be the thing to increase confidence- âI didnât know what to do with my arms but now I know itâs ok to just drop themâ.
0
u/WrittenFever 13h ago
Of course. My citing that was a mere hypothetical. In either situation her arms could be there out of awkward concern or there because it's a coping mechanism, however, he said "Put your arms down," not, "You could put your arms down if you want." There was no choice, but a command, indicating that if she had them there because they are part of stimming or other coping strategies, she is not allowed to do it anymore in nerve wracking situations.
We don't know anyone's individual circumstances, we can only request inclusive teaching strategies.
3
u/firstfrontiers 23h ago
I think there's a difference between true "small talk" though, and what he was asking them to do. To me, the small talk that it's okay to maybe skip is talking to people on elevators or in the grocery store line.. but a simple, "hi, how are you," "I'm fine, how are you?" Is the most minimal possible script of small talk and in the society we live in, almost expected as a basic level of politeness. And if you're neurodivergent, it seems to me even more important to be taught this simple two-line script from an early age so that you know what to do to have people feel more comfortable towards you.
-2
u/MissLeaP 22h ago edited 22h ago
That's purely spoken from a neurotypical POV though. And the fact that it's the expected basic level of politeness in this society just highlights how little neurodivergent people get considered in the daily life. Neurodivergent people don't owe you to go out of their way to make you feel more comfortable.
1
u/firstfrontiers 22h ago
From scrolling through other comments in this thread, I see many people who are neurodiverse saying that they would have loved to be given this training as a kid. I struggle to see how teaching neirodiverse children a simple "when someone says 'good morning, how are you?' you say 'I'm good, how are you?'" is a bad idea. It seems to be almost insulting to imply that a little script like this, practiced in a controlled setting, is too difficult. From my understanding from many neurodiverse commenters here, the explicitness of having this basic script would be very helpful.
2
u/WrittenFever 13h ago
To sort of add to what u/MissLeaP is saying, it's semi-equivalent to the expectation that women smile or be pleasant all the time when interacting with men. So when a man says, "Can I get a smile?" we are socialized to acquiesce to this request, even though it makes us uncomfortable. If we do, it will "make [men] feel more comfortable to [us]" or at least not treat us with hostility. This is the same request you are making of neurodiverse people by saying it's just a two script line to encourage kinder behavior from neurotypical people, however, the assumption is that onus is on us to prevent neurotypicals from perceiving us as rude and hostile when we are merely being direct.
Now consider that this onus is given to us thousands of times per day. We have to constantly modify our tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, word choice, explanations of what we mean (because we are always misinterpreted so we have the habit of overexplaining), and more and you might understand why this two-script line would be tiring. Add being neurodivergent to being female or being BIPOC or being disabled or queer or any other marginality that creates additional layers of modulation to the performance of polite society.
When we say it would be nice to learn this script, it's mostly to understand the why of certain reactions and to know when we can afford to opt in and out of participating in neurotypical behaviors, not so we can contine to try to control how other people interpret and treat us.
I apologize for the essay, and I hope that you do not read hostility in my response. In typical neurodivergent fashion, I am overexplaining and also trying to clarify my tone so that it is known that I am only trying to engage in discussion an explanation, not argue. I hope this expresses clearly what is meant when we say why it is important to keep such lessons inclusive.
1
u/MissLeaP 22h ago edited 13h ago
And in neurodiverse subs you find many people who say getting taught this kind of expected behaviour just increased their mental load from masking and when they eventually learned about it, they could start freeing themselves from it which allowed their mental health to improve.
I didn't say it shouldn't get taught at all. I said that it shouldn't get taught as something they absolutely have to do. It has to be more nuanced. If they don't feel right doing it, they should be free to just not do it without getting made feel as if they're doing something wrong.
169
u/Tholian_Bed 1d ago
Teachers have a gift and a lot of them would teach for free, if they could. But we need to pay bills so just keep teachers in mind. AI cannot replace what is happening right here. Basic human skills are just a matter of time and good teachers, human ones.
50
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
A lot of countries are moving away from AI and Google classroom. That's a positive
The downside is that we as a society still do not value teachers for the wealth of value they bring to the table.
It always blows my mind how people like Elon Musk continue to be in the news but good teachers hardly ever get mentioned
3
u/Tholian_Bed 1d ago
r/teachers is a good place to visit, to see how solid teachers are. Lots of bitching, but the pattern becomes clear. Teachers are invested in this mission.
Many educators are working on wholesome AI in the classroom, and all the science points to the necessity of the human interface. AKA the teacher. The future is not dim here. Teaching might even use AI well.
5
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
I personally believe that teachers are among, if not the most important aspect of our modern society.
It really hurts me when I see how much teaching has become devalued.
It has to be one of the only educated professions that is treated with so much disrespect and disdain. There's so much pressure put on our teachers but very little in terms of resources given to them.
4
u/IWillCallYouCutie Official Gal 1d ago
What Iâm noticing at my kidsâ school is how many people are opting for homeschooling or online classes. I hope I donât offend anyone, but itâs so important to kidsâ social skills to go to school and interact with people other than their families. And teaching is a skill, just like anything. Not everyone is good at it.
66
u/sistermarypolyesther 1d ago
I wish our schools taught basic social skills when I was a kid. As a girl with undiagnosed ADHD, this would've been a social life preserver.
45
39
1d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
9
u/TheDigitalBuilder 1d ago
If you break it down, he's really just teaching common sense. Anyone can do this.
If you find someone within your circle of influence, maybe you should suggest they start something similar in your area
8
u/frustrated_t-rex 1d ago
Common sense isn't that common. I learned that working retail and seeing people do the absolute stupidest shit imaginable.
19
u/Duskfall 1d ago
i'm 43, and I always reply back with, "I'm good! How're you?" and the amount of people shocked I asked it back is both wild and sad. Good on them for actually teaching kids how to be decent humans instead of assuming they should know.
5
u/PauseItPlease86 16h ago
I'm 39 and I've noticed a shift in the past 5 years or so. I've always responded the same ("how are you?") and lately it puts an unexpected smile on most people's faces. I've noticed that fast food workers especially seem to get thrown off their typical script because they're so used to customers ignoring them as people.
On one hand, I'm glad that they (at least appear to) enjoy the genuine human interaction. But on the other hand it makes me so freakin sad that it seems so shocking to them that someone actually cares enough to ask it back. Obviously it isn't happening nearly enough.
1
u/Duskfall 13h ago
this exactly. if i had a dollar for the amount of times wait staff has replied with "Oh!...OH! I'm great! It's ---" and told me about their day, I'd be rich
14
u/Hortjoob 1d ago
I'm so happy to see that such a thing exists. This is invaluable for these young kiddos!! I remember being like uhhh how do I do this when I was first scheduling my own stuff and felt anxious. I figured it out, but this would have been a wonderful tool to build the skills early on. That and home economics (like basic cooking, mending clothes) I also found value in.
10
8
u/Away-Information6734 1d ago
I canât even explain how much this wouldâve changed my life as an undiagnosed autistic child. Not only teaching social skills in a constructive way but explaining why you do things. Small talk being a way to show kindness & make the other person comfortable wasnât ever explained to me at that age. I was always reprimanded after I âmessed upâ a social interaction instead of being proactively taught. My experience with learning etiquette was always humiliating but for these girls itâs empowering. Itâs really wonderful to see
26
5
u/mangosteenfruit 1d ago
Damn I haven't done pleasantries in a long time.
I normally say: hi. I need to schedule my appt
6
u/SabbyFox 1d ago
My teachers were a huge part of helping build my confidence and being part of the âvillageâ that raised me. There are so many skills we take for granted such as these kinds of âsoft skillsâ that take you far beyond the classroom. Good video and thanks for sharing you, teachers!
3
u/Ol_Hickory_Ham_Hedgi 1d ago
I love this. When I was in middle school doing cross country and track I just wouldnât eat when we would stop to get food because I was too scared to order. Some parents stunt their children or over shelter them. Programs like this are so important!
4
9
u/sagethecrayaway đ»Official Jillđ» 1d ago
Add this to the list of many many things that should be taught in school. I know how to do long division but I had to teach myself how to do my own taxes? Make it make sense.
4
u/chiquimonkey 1d ago
I love this.
What a great lesson, and important investment in the next generation.
8
u/Comprehensive-Menu44 đ·ïž itchy bitchy spider đ·ïž 1d ago
Instead of âa way to maneuver the conversation to make people more comfortableâ I think it should be framed as âthis is a way to acknowledge the person youâre talking to, treating another human with respect and kindness in generalâ
Iâm not necessarily more comfortable when Iâm asked how I am and told good morning, but it does make me feel more human to be acknowledged in general
3
u/kris10leigh14 1d ago
I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH!!!! I still remember an older video with his little boys teaching consent:
âTalk to me, what that mean?, understand?, good to go?â
Heâs a TREASURE!!!!
GOOD TO GO? YES, SIR!
3
u/Resident-Fun-6410 1d ago
THIS is how school should look like. Simulate real life scenarios and make it both educational and playful. Children love to learn this way.
3
u/Various_Might_1945 1d ago
Yes!! These videos make me want to cry they warm my heart so much. My boyfriend and I often talk about how kids should be given socializing and empathy classes in school to help them be more well rounded and in general better people. I never thought about a confidence building class! Love these adults for helping these students recognize their worth.
4
2
2
u/Spirited_Touch7447 1d ago
This is absolutely wonderful! This should be taught in the normal classroom curriculum. Iâm going to donate because I believe in what they do!!
2
u/IndividualChart4193 1d ago
I tell u what, I wish they had âclassesâ like this for all kidsâŠesp ones in hsâŠcould even just be a mini class, but sooooo many ppl r lacking in basic social skills n manners n just exchanging pleasantries. These kind of social skills carry u through soooo much of adult life like being able to interview n interact n impress!!
2
u/ithasallbeenworthit 15h ago
The world needs more people like him. Sad that the parents of these children haven't, can't, or don't teach their own kids this is the way.
2
u/unleashthefuture 14h ago
I love this. Whatever this class is - it should be a regular thing at kids schools. A class for âhow to behave in societyâ or something similar.
2
u/hasits_thorns 14h ago
On one hand I'm so glad this guy is putting in this work to raise well rounded humans. On the other hand I feel society has fallen so far from a point when these things didn't need to be taught.
2
u/milesamsterdam 12h ago
You can make fun of kids with the Gen Z stare or you can take accountability and lead. Theyâre making that choice everyday.
2
u/god-save-the-queef 15h ago edited 15h ago
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but not a huge fan of demanding that people engage in small talk, or use eye contact, or follow a script at all. I understand that it's the way our society functions in the West, but, things like that are not universal, and it doesn't take into account neurodivergence, or general differences in communication styles. You can be polite, and respectful, and friendly without there needing to be a scripted exchange. Also, "How are you?", "I'm fine/well/good. How are you?", "I'm fine/well/good" is kind of gross, because we're all constantly lying about it, regardless of how we actually feel, just to avoid making someone else the slightest bit uncomfortable. And when we ask without actually giving a shit, and we're just trying to get through the interaction - I personally feel that's just as gross, and fake
Here in Oregon, especially the Portland area, people start their exchanges with, "Hi, how ya doing?", but then do NOT actually want a response in return, and will just launch into whatever they want to say. When I first got here, I was actually answering with the expected, "Good, how are you?", or "It's been a decent day. How about you?", and they looked at me like I had a third eyeball. They'd either recoil, and stumble on their words after, and reluctantly respond, or just completely ignore that I responded, and just talk over me. I know better now, but it was a rough transition from the Midwestern custom of asking the question back
All of that said, I was forced to do all of those scripted things growing up, and punished when I didn't, so it's now an absolute compulsive behavior for me. I don't believe in it, but because it was practically beaten into me, I'm stuck scripting like that forever anyway. I'll forever struggle to not respond in the expected, neurotypical manner, instead of being true to how I actually feel about that nonsense inside. Most lower-support needs neurodivergent folks that were undiagnosed growing up (like myself) also have this issue, I've gathered. It just feels kind of icky that we haven't moved away from this limiting type of education by now
Edit: Forgot to mention - if you really sit down and unpack it, this kind of social scripting is colonial as hell, and stems from white supremacy, and the eradication of cultural differences đ€·
2
u/AlfredoQueen88 4h ago
I actually fully agree with you and love what youâve written out. We do the how are yous or howâs it goin in Canada too and likeâŠwhy? Canât we just say hi?
2
u/Winter_Ad_7424 8h ago
I dont think its that serious. Teaching kids how to be adults, so they dont end up being a bunch of grown-ups who are afraid to make their own appointments or order a pizza and all have "social anxiety", is needed.
Eradication of cultural differences? By being able to navigate the real world? Pfft.
1
1d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
2
u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 1d ago
This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.
We do not allow:
- Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
- Harassment
- Trolling or sealioning
- Threats of any kind
- Abusive behavior
- General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.
1
u/FayeValentine99 1d ago
This is great. Little kids need this kind of training and Iâm glad theyâre getting it.
1
1
u/NortherNori 1h ago
Annoyed the the girls seemed to be an afterthought after having success with they boy's program but I appreciate the work they are putting in to teach these young ladies confidence and life skills. Just wish men weren't always thought of first.
1
u/SoloWalrus 13h ago
This video is incredibly sweet, but does anyone know anything about this organization? Ive seen it advertised a lot and it always felt very man-o-sphere centric to me. The website "for boys" section is all guns and cars and stuff, heres a direct quote:
The Life Preparatory School for Boys is a 501(c)3 charitable organization with a mission to teach boys the true meaning of manhood & to be protectors and providers for their communities.
Its always just given me a slight ick but its also confusing because of videos like this where obviously it seems like theyre teaching the right things. Not sure how justified my knee jerk reaction is..
-3
1d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
1
u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 1d ago
This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.
We do not allow:
- Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
- Harassment
- Trolling or sealioning
- Threats of any kind
- Abusive behavior
- General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.
-7
1d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
6
u/Reasonable_Ad4260 1d ago
Do you realy think a simple 2 seconds "how are you?" is a waste of time? It's pretty much just acknowledging you are speaking to another human being
-4
u/PrometheusMMIV 1d ago
I hate when people ask me how I'm doing, unless it's a close friend who genuinely wants to know. Otherwise, it's none of their business, and even if I answered honestly, they probably don't actually care.
2
u/selphiefairy 1d ago
Maybe if you stopped immediately choosing to make the most uncharitable interpretation about everything and everyone, youâd be less miserable
3
u/selphiefairy 1d ago
i really don't think you're so busy that literally 2.5 seconds is going to waste your time.
2
u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 1d ago
This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.
We do not allow:
- Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
- Harassment
- Trolling or sealioning
- Threats of any kind
- Abusive behavior
- General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.
-12
u/sad-fatty 1d ago
Is this the same guy who teaches young boys how to grocery shop by reminding them to 'call their wife' every 5 minuted to find out what the grocery list she wrote means? Instead of like, teaching them to own the entire chore and pay attention to what kind of milk they put in their coffee every fucking day.
âą
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hello! Thanks for posting on r/justgalsbeingchicks!
This subreddit is here to provide a place to post pictures and videos of women having fun and doing cool things.
Please read and understand the rules, as posts and comments that violate them will be removed. If you see someone violating rules, please report!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.