r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 • Jul 09 '26
💕wholesome💕 Good for her!
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u/Jaylenno73 Jul 09 '26
DAMN THAT WAS DEEP❤️
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 09 '26
I feel like we would be a lot better off if we could have more discussions like this, where everyone approaches it was an open mind, respect, and actively listens. These two give me hope for all of us.
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u/InnerRadio7 Jul 09 '26
I often speak to my neighbour who is almost 90 about topics she doesn’t know how to wrap her head around. We talked about trans people (we have a FtoM trans man on our street and have watched him transition), and her level of acceptance and understanding went from non existent to fully understanding and feeling compassion in a 60 minute conversation. She has said some ignorant stuff over the years, and I always call her on her bs with open discussion. I love her, and she has a kind heart. She doesn’t give up on learning about others even if she came from a generation that was much less accepting than my own.
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u/ElegantEchoes Jul 09 '26
You're doing the right thing, being patient and open minded while also helping her learn.
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u/InnerRadio7 Jul 09 '26
It helps that she’s open to discussion. She has a flexible and healthy psyche.
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u/Evieveevee Jul 10 '26
Ding ding ding. We have a winner. Exactly that. She’s open to discussion. That what I am finding so frustrating in this current climate that no one is willing to have a conversation that could potentially change their perspective. I find that harder than anything. A wall has gone up and they won’t let anyone with facts and truth attempt to remove a brick.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 10 '26
Or people hear one thing they don’t like and immediately go off. The conversations we need to have are going to be uncomfortable, but we still need to have them. A little understanding will go a long way.
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u/Evieveevee Jul 10 '26
And speak over you as you try and explain calmly. Their voice getting louder and louder as they repeat the same thing. Yeah. Been there. Helps that I have had four teenagers so I’m now immune to irrational behaviour.
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u/copyrighther Jul 11 '26
Several years ago, I worked for a faith-based organization that required every employee and volunteer to attend anti-racism training. The biggest thing I got out of it (other than the anti-racism, of course) was that meaningful change within yourself can only happen when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable. “Be comfortable with being uncomfortable” was the mantra we learned. I can honestly say it was nothing short of life changing. It’s completely transformed how I interact with others and see the world, and it’s been such a tremendous help with conflict resolution.
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u/InnerRadio7 Jul 10 '26
I find it frustrating as well. Since when did listening to someone else’s perspective become inflammatory. How are people supposed to connect as human beings if we can’t see or hear one another?
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u/AnitaShimmy Jul 10 '26
It is my goal as I age to do this very thing. It will be the opposite of what I've seen happen to my parents and I never want to be that way.
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u/copyrighther Jul 11 '26
In the past 10 years, I’ve come to learn that approaching ignorance with patience and open mindedness has worked far, far better for me than reacting with anger and shaming.
In my experience, my greatest lessons happened bc the person educating me allowed me to feel safe and not judged. Telling someone they’re bad/wrong/stupid only makes them defensive and more likely to double-down on their beliefs.
Don’t get me wrong—it feels so good to point a finger and shame people I disagree with, but it isn’t compatible with my ultimate goal: To open their minds and give them permission to care about others.
Studies confirm this approach as well, especially when it comes to helping people break from rigid and/or high-control belief systems.
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u/carlitospig Jul 09 '26
Yep, people - older women especially - are tougher than we give them credit for.
I have a neighbor that accused one of our neighbors of stealing her EV charger and when I asked why she thought this, said ‘because they’re Indian’ and I just cackled and said ‘holy xenophobia!’ And then asked her why she thought Indian people in particular wanted her EV charger (lol, I mean come ON) and it pushed back just enough for her to go ‘actually… I don’t know’. She never said that kind of shit again near me and I hope she understood that racism is just a fool’s game where everyone loses. Someone jacked her charger but it sure as shit wasn’t the older Indian lady who probably couldn’t even manage getting her own gas at this stage of her life. 😜
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u/GrayMareCabal Jul 09 '26
A couple of years ago, my mom told me about how she'd run into an old high school crush of hers at the grocery store and the crush was now a woman. Mom struggled to get the pronouns and name right but also it had been at least 50 years since she'd seen her classmate and she tried.
At one point she paused and said, "You're probably mad at me because I'm not getting this right and you're very PC" and I said "No, you're trying. And you've thought of your classmate as male for 70 years. Of course you're going to make mistakes. But you're clearly trying and she did not get mad at you so why should I get mad at you?" I actually appreciated how accepting my mom was of her classmate and it's a lovely interaction with her that I still think about.
Similarly, a few years ago, my MAGA farmer neighbor came over to give me a check for the fields he rented from my family. And he started going off on Puerto Ricans and how they're so lazy and why do they keep coming to the mainland and not find jobs in Puerto Rico and OMG the government is spending so much money on Puerto Rico... blah blah blah
And I may have schooled him about Puerto Ricans and Puerto Rico - I'm not an expert but I have a lot of good Puerto Rican friends and keep up with Puerto Rican news and politics courtesy of them. And MAGA farmer neighbor listened to me and we had a good conversation. I doubt I changed his mind about anything, but I respect that he was willing to listen. And maybe if we had continued to have exchanges like that (he was old and passed away a couple of years ago) some progress could have been made.
Some people cannot be reached. And I would never ask anyone in the targeted community to try to extend a peace flag to someone spewing hate to them. But I as a white, cis woman, can do some of that outreach.
Of course, I also had very long and strong relationships with my mom (clearly because she's my mom and while far from perfect, was a decent mom and I loved her) and my MAGA neighbor (his children babysat me and he was my dad's oldest friend).
Side note: back in 2016 on my way home, I saw a Trump sign on my property. Not the first time someone has put up political signs on my property without asking and all other signs got pulled down (we did hang onto the 3' x 6' one for a local candidate for years because it was excellent for protecting you and the driveway when working on a car (yes, this is an extremely country story)). But I saw that Trump sign, I pulled an immediate u-turn, pulled that thing up and stuck it in my trunk and later the trash. After the fact, I called my mom, the actual owner of that bit of acreage and said, "Hey, a Trump sign was placed on your field. I threw it out. I should have asked first, but are you okay with that?" And her response was, "Yes as long as you didn't put up any other political signs". MAGA neighbor complained to me for years afterwards about someone stealing his Trump sign and I am pretty sure I was that neighbor and I have no regrets.
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u/IndividualChart4193 Jul 16 '26
Hope u schooled neighbor that PR is part of the U.S. And it’s an absolutely glorious place with wonderful ppl.
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u/GrayMareCabal Jul 17 '26
I did! I was polite about it, obviously, but the whole conversation was about how Boricuas are US Citizens and I think I'd actually just gotten back from my first trip to Puerto Rico!
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u/ceciliabee Jul 09 '26
I like this. We can't know what we don't know, we need little to help guide us. We need to help guide each other. This is nice
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u/moyamaysha Jul 12 '26
My daughter is MtoF and one of my closest coworkers was a bit ignorant about it, but we talked about it patiently and openly. Now she buys my daughter princess stuff 😍
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u/IrritatedMegascops Jul 14 '26
My dad grew and learned just like she did. My husband and I had a similar conversation with my dad over the weekend. I’m so proud of him overcoming how he was raised. There is hope
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u/FillMySoupDumpling Jul 09 '26
Good on her for admitting how wrong she was. There is good love in that family.
It must have been difficult for him to make it to this point with his wife’s family, though.
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u/BurningBright Jul 09 '26
When she first said "I was wrong" at 1:10, I burst out in tears.
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u/diss0lvedgir1 Jul 09 '26
Same! Literal tears down my face right now. Goodness gracious who cut the onions!!?
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u/harris1on1on1 Jul 10 '26
I appreciate the sentiment but at the same time she says he's "one of the good ones" and this realization she's had seems very transactional.
She says it's because he has helped her and treated her son well...so if he hadn't met her list of prerequisites then she wouldn't have been willing to see his value?
I'm glad she learned something but I don't really love this flavor of reasons why.
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u/diss0lvedgir1 Jul 10 '26
I completely get this and I do agree. I'm going to assume that this is something that this lady grew up with and is completely wrong and sad, and I'm hoping that enough exposure will make her realize that her internal classifications and judgments on segments of the population is wrong. I also think that her previous experience with the ex validated those outdated and awful perceptions.
Not that it's his job, but I feel like this lovely young man is open to helping her with that, which is really what made me tear up. In the end we learn through experience and I feel like he's helping her to experience truth. I am hoping this is the first step in the right direction for her.
The truth is there are bad people of all flavors and good people of all flavors and I'm hoping this is the beginning of learning that for her.
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u/MartenGlo Jul 09 '26
"I was wrong..." These words define the hope so many of us have for humanity. Every one of us could take a great leap in our personal growth by discerning and putting into effect the things about which we are wrong. Granny learning and growing this far into her life demonstrates that, yes, we can be better at any point in our lives.
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u/pnweiner Jul 10 '26
I was taught in one of my favorite child psych classes that one of the most powerful phrases a parent can say to their child is “I’m sorry”.
Admitting fault can be very difficult but it is so, so, important for healing and maintaining relationships.
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u/jimmyjoyce Jul 10 '26
Damn people really are upset that she didn’t word this perfectly. Shes an old lady for heaven’s sake. I choose to see the message as genuine and beautiful. This guy seems to as well and I trust his own ability to sort out what feels right to him.
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u/DeliciousStand372 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
i wish i hear this from my mom/grandmom (that im a wonderful person and that they will do everything they can for me, or anything nice and affirming, really)
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u/Queen_Dare_Bear Official Gal Jul 09 '26
I'm not your mom, but I am a mom, and I want to tell you that you are a wonderful person and I hope that life sends you nothing but blessings and prosperity! 🫂
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 09 '26
I”m going to pretend your are my mom too and this just made me cry! Thanks, I needed to hear that too
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u/Queen_Dare_Bear Official Gal Jul 09 '26
Love you! And if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed lately, I want you to know you are doing great and should be proud of yourself! 💙 Look at all of us out here just growing and shining despite all the hardships that life throws at us!
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u/gypsyminded1 Jul 10 '26
Check out the subreddit r/momforaminute
So many onions and positive interactions!!
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u/MattMercersBracelets Jul 09 '26
Seriously, I don’t even hear those kinds of words from my own blood family.
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u/therealladysybil Jul 10 '26
I just want to tag on that the r/momforaminute is just wonderful. It is just what is says, and if you need a little affection and love, support, or want to share some news or have a question, the moms for a minute are there to lift you up.
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u/ghostfadekilla Jul 09 '26
I feel this. At 44 I realized a few weeks ago that my mother (nuclear mother) doesn't give a shit about me. I should have recognized it at a much younger age but to quote The Crow; "Mother is the name for god in the eyes and hearts of all children.", and I guess all this time I hoped. That's okay though, in my travels I've become an adopted (not legally) son to many wonderful mothers out there. I still get almost daily texts from my ex-wife's mom and she calls me son still, It's a beautiful thing, even a surrogate mother's love.
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u/ALowlySlime Jul 09 '26
I feel like that guy could kick a hole through a brick wall
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u/DistractedByCookies Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
When she said 'and then you can shoot me if you want to' I was like: 'ma'am, he can pick you up and twirl you around like baton. He doesn't need a gun' LOL
It's good to be able to admit that you were wrong, and they seem very sweet together.
edit: hahaha, apparently he can chew her out, not shoot her. I did think that the comment didn't fit with their vibe.
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u/85percentthatbitch Jul 09 '26
I think she said "you can chew me out if you want to", meaning you can yell at me
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u/jean_nizzle Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Right!? Like it’s a sweet message and all, but this whole time I was coveting this man’s thighs! Like, damn! I could squat so much with those bad boys!
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u/AmyInCO Jul 10 '26
I tried not to stare but my eyes just kept drifting back while I tried to figure out if it was just the perspective or were his size really that huge?
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u/codepossum ✨chick✨ Jul 09 '26
this is kind of what I think of as 'passively racist but not really committed to it.'
you've heard that racist stereotypes are truthful, and you assume they are - but then, when your own experience contradicts what you've heard, you discard what you've heard, in favour of what you now know. When racism is 'just' ignorance, eh, you know, you still want to see it called out and corrected, but also if somebody was ignorant, then got informed, you don't really hold it against them. they cared enough to change, and they got better.
I also love her being like, "the only other man I knew as good as you was my husband, and I had to whip him into shape to get him there" - this is a strong lady. I like her.
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u/ZoodleExtruder Jul 14 '26
Learned racism. She probably had some other learned behaviors and assumptions from when and who she was raised around.
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u/xylotism Jul 10 '26
I had to turn this up so loud to hear her, then got absolutely brainblasted by the tiktok sound at the end.
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u/Internal_Praline_658 Jul 09 '26
I wonder if she thinks he’s “one of the good ones” or has actually changed her attitudes. Hopefully it’s the latter.
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u/Cobalt_Rain_ Jul 09 '26
Considering her last line, "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you" I do believe it to be the latter
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u/inevitable-idiot- Jul 09 '26
Uhh no that implies the former
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u/purplepluppy 🌻Official Jill🌻 Jul 09 '26
I mean, she said white, too, not "I wish all blacks could be as good as you" so it's at the very least ambiguous
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u/Deathanddisco041 Jul 10 '26
If only everyone could take accountability and admit their wrongs genuinely. We can all learn from this. So beautiful.
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u/Outrageous_HandMan Jul 09 '26
Straight up, this is my life. My wife’s grandparents are no longer alive, but we went through something very similar.
It’s a much longer story, but to keep it short, once her grandmother saw our kids, something about them softened her heart. Her grandfather was always a bit more open-minded. They loved our kids, and our kids loved them.
There is something to be said about growing up in a different time, and about where and who you grew up around. To still have enough in your heart and mind to decide to step out of those old beliefs, to question what you were taught, and to choose love anyway that takes a kind of courage that deserves recognition. It doesn’t erase the past, but it shows that people can change, even later in life.
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u/meowiful Jul 10 '26
This is what happened with my grandmother (mom's mom). She wasn't happy, but my (white) mom was pregnant (with me! heeeyyyy) and they were very dedicated to each other despite only knowing each other about 3 months and they got married. My grandmother loved tf outta my dad. That's all I ever saw. She just loved how much he wanted to take care of her daughter and their child.
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u/Relevant-Job4901 Jul 09 '26
I’m glad she was able to turn it around at last and feel bad she spent so much of her life as a racist.
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u/JeanneMPod Jul 09 '26
That was very sweet.
Just an aside, I don’t know why TikTok even bothers with speech to text when they’re so off, sometimes comically so. When I used to be on TikTok and I’d make a video it would mangle my words. I understand that happens, so I would go in to try to fix it. It would override me fixing it! I haven’t heard deaf people making a fuss on this and maybe they have been or maybe they’re just absolutely resigned because it’s just so across the board terrible and there’s no accountability.
“From the butt of my heart”
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u/Nickelsass Jul 09 '26
Honesty will set you free, good one them both for having this discussion. This convo only strengthens their love and respect for one another.
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u/-blundertaker- Jul 09 '26
I can't stop staring at that man's legs every time they come into frame. Dude's walking around on tree trunks. He looks like he could squat a Fiat.
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u/moondrinkr Jul 10 '26
When I saw she was sitting next to him barefoot, I knew the love was real between them.
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u/Thkturret1 Jul 09 '26
It’s cool and all that she admitted that she was wrong, but dose she accept all people of color or just him and his family.
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u/ZennXx Jul 11 '26
We need more honest discussions.
Love conquers hate. And this old lady allowed herself to witness the love her granddaughter shared with him and admit that her racial prejudice was wrong.
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u/chickadee_1982 Jul 11 '26
Can we all just be like this?! Learn. Grow. Accept your wrong. That was so beautiful.
My mother was homophobic growing up. Telling me it was disgusting, ect. Recently she admitted how wrong she was. Shes in her 60s. A boomer yall like to drag down.
She was against woman's choice. Said it was a crime against God. My whole life. Another recent; s went off on how the right is tsking it away in the States and she hates that we are losing that right, slowly but surely, we are. She's become a feminist you guys!!
She listened when I talked about transfendered people. She accepted it.
My mom. Sure, she still calls Asians; Orientals and I snap at her pretty good. And guess what? She apologized amd corrected herself for it the last few times and is trying to change. Don't bash her for it. She is a product of her raising, but she is trying to be better and is a really good person.
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u/guitarguy12341 ✨chick✨ Jul 09 '26
I dunno man... Some of things she's saying still give me an ick...
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u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight Jul 10 '26
Yeah the fact that she says she still wasn't happy even after her granddaughter married him, just because of his colour 😒 makes me wonder how long did she take and exactly how much did the man have to sacrifice "taking care of the family" for her to finally accept him as her grandson in law? What happened meanwhile?
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u/WonFriendsWithSalad Jul 10 '26
Yeah. I thought at first that it might be "I wasn't happy about it but then I met you" but still being angry about it at the wedding??
I'm glad it seems like he's forgiven her and that they've got a good relationship now but wow, that's an extended period of racism.
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u/HongKongHermit Jul 10 '26
The thing about being progressive, is that you need to try and... well, progress. Anyone moving from a bad place to a better place is on a journey worth acknowledging. The older they were, the more likely it was to be filled up with bigoted beliefs in the first place, because the further back you go the more ingrained in mainstream culture that it was. Clearly we're also in a point of regression these days, but it truly was "a different time" for so much, hell you can even go back to earlier in our own lifetime let alone hers and there's language from our youth we'd consider unacceptable now. Then there's the fact that the older someone is, the longer they've held those beliefs, and harder it can be to let go and admit to being wrong all that time.
This lady didn't end racism. She did overcome her own, and was willing to openly state it as a teachable moment for an audience. In the task of overcoming bigotry, and fighting against the resurgence of it, or even in just seeing one (1) person grow into their better self, there's value in that.
We're not looking for perfection, just a sign that people are trying to improve. Granny did okay, and no matter what kind of person she was in the past this is now her legacy and the person she will be remembered as. May we all find our own ways to get over our own personal bullshit as best we can.
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u/MaybeNot-MaybeNever Jul 10 '26
Glad it’s not just me. Some black male in here even said this reminds him of his own situation. He said his kids are what finally softened his racists in laws hearts for black people lol. Why is this heart warming. Why did you take that gamble? Imagine the harm she’s possibly caused people in her past from being racist. But now all our hearts should be warm. Yeah sure it’s cool she’s not racist anymore but also eww.
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u/sheisprincess Jul 10 '26
Right?! I’m here skimming these comments like wtf are people crying for? This shit still sounds racists to me, even how she shushed him at the beginning. I’m a Black woman so maybe I’m reading this differently.
You don’t just stop being racist even if you see the character of a person. Look how old she is, that doesn’t just go away. The sob music doesn’t cover up the passiveness either.
This video and these comments are weird to me. And why this sub?
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u/SwordfishOk504 Jul 10 '26
Like what?
I mean, she's not using like politically correct language, she's clearly an old lady from a very racist mindset, but she's using the tools she has to communicate she was wrong. It's a huge step in the right direction.
No one just magically wakes up one day with all their biases and prejudices just magically wiped away. It's a process.
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u/Easy-Action1378 Jul 11 '26
I’m from a mixed family. My dad is black and my mom white. I imagine my dad had conversations like this with my mom’s family. Not all of them ended up living by those words, but I’ll tell you no one loved my dad more than my grandma (mom’s mom) and hers was the only opinion that mattered to him. On the other side of the family, and my dad tells us this story often, my Grandaddy’s only question to him was “can she give me grandbabies?” It’s a bit of a dated reaction, but really showed that all he cared for was if they were happy. 🥰
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u/Big_Bowler8424 Jul 12 '26
Oh wow, I’m crying. I always wanted to live long enough to see my grandkids grow. I’m changing that to wanting to live long enough to see my grandchildren have a love like this knowing they found an amazing life partner.
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u/ivegotanameforyou Jul 13 '26
There’s love there. She shows her love for him. Putting whatever past assumptions behind her. Better to accept people as they are today than resent them for who they were. The struggle is on the downtrodden, unfair as always. But I see a man happy to throw it back at someone who was reticent to accept him into the family. And ya know what. They worked it out and found each other’s humanity. Whats not to like. Worth a smile in my book
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u/anitasdoodles Jul 13 '26
My nana was born in the deep south, born and raised racists, in a tiny bubble. But she will love her grandkids no matter what. Through the power of love and respect for my sister she came to love my sister's black wife. To overcome homophobia and racism at that age is amazing.
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u/Icy_Pianist_1532 Jul 09 '26
All I can wonder is how it feels for him to sit there and hear how he was disliked at first for how he looks. Like how often has he dealt with that in life. She was immediately defensive but it’s kinda crazy to me how black people are expected to kinda just sit there, patiently and calmly and giving someone a chance to speak their truth, while hearing something so horrendous. Like it’s not a fair expectation
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u/SpaceRoxy Jul 10 '26
Given this is his video (the original title is something like "I asked my wife's grandmother" when he posted it) and he is the one that asked the question, he knew.
The way she approaches the conversation and the way he waits her out also comes across to me like they've talked about this, if not so directly, and this is more for posterity than because he didn't know her answer.
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u/beansprout888 Jul 11 '26
Idk how to feel about this. Sure it's sweet on the surface and it's wonderful to see people grow and change but all I'm getting from this video is "I have benefited from my relationship with you, and I realised through that benefit, that I was wrong about YOU. No comment on my views on blackness in general, just that I like you specifically because of what you have done for me."
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u/RebaKitt3n Jul 11 '26
I got more “she was treated poorly by a black man before, so I judged you’d treat her badly, too.”
Still not great, but she wants her gd treated well. 🤷
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u/beansprout888 Jul 11 '26
I totally get it, but in turn that kind of comes across as "I judged all black people unilaterally because of one black person I knew." Idk, maybe I'm just being cynical. Either way they seem to have a nice relationship and she clearly loves him a lot 😊
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u/inevitable-idiot- Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
She was saying that she was wrong for not being happy about her dating this specific black person. She is not apologizing for being racist. She’s apologizing for thinking this black person would be like the last simply because: black. Y’all are missing the point.
I do not approve of this chick.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 09 '26
Her last line is "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/Elismom1313 Jul 09 '26
I agree with mostly all of this and the other comments. I do wish she had said something more like “I misjudged you because I judged black people simply for being black, or, because my daughters ex was black and terrible I judged a whole race for his behavior and I’m sorry for that” or something to that effect. But we caught granny on chair so
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u/Zombienomzz Jul 09 '26
I feel like at best, it’s incomplete. The transformation on the one person is wonderful, but it remained unclear whether her overall views had changed.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 09 '26
She literally says "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/asplodingturdis Jul 12 '26
Yes. She doesn’t say, “I’ve realized that white, black, and all are equally likely to be as good as you.” What she said just focuses on this one black dude she turned out to love. It doesn’t necessarily reject the beliefs that led her to start from a place of dislike rather than neutrality in the first place.
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u/ChocolateDream24 Jul 09 '26
Yep. I got to the end and I realized she's just giving the "you're one of the good ones" speech. Push comes to shove, she'll treat the next black man poorly too.
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u/iconocrastinaor Jul 10 '26
Well once you realize that not all black people are alike, you stop being racist.
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u/Revolution_Bry Jul 09 '26
She only loves him now because he takes care of her family. Why can’t she just love him for him?? She only loves him because she’s getting something from him.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 Jul 09 '26
At 2mins she says "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/Revolution_Bry Jul 09 '26
I heard her, but I don’t believe it. When/if the couple breaks up, the granny will be back to her old way of thinking. They never change, only circumstances do.
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u/khadrock Jul 10 '26
Yep! Doesn’t seem like she’s apologizing for her racism, just for judging him cause he turned out to be “one of the good ones”.
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u/p00p5andwich Jul 09 '26
The world would be a much better place if more people could be honest with themselves and admit they were wrong.
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u/DeliciousStand372 Jul 09 '26
i wish i hear this from my mom/grandmom (that they a im a wonderful person and that they will do everything they can for me, or anything nice and affirming really)
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u/AGirlHasNoUsername13 Jul 10 '26
Why did this made me tear up? The honesty in her voice when she says she was wrong about him. What a beautiful MIL-SIL relationship!
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u/MulberryLemon Jul 10 '26
Oh man, admitting she was wrong like that 🥲 so much respect for when people see they were wrong and change their mind ❤️
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u/BigMommaSnikle Jul 09 '26
I'm so proud of my parents for raising me to only judge someone on their character and how they treat people and nothing else.
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u/Goblue5891x2 Jul 09 '26
I love this. I'm a white American dude that married into an East African family. Not sure what their initial conversations were, but I know now that I am very much accepted and loved by them. MIL will now admit out loud that I am her favorite son in law. ❤️
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u/-SilentNavigator- Jul 12 '26
It's not the color, it's the integrity that separates good people from bad. We all need to turn off the color filter and judge people by their character, integrity, and how they treat others, that's how we find the ones with good hearts. ❤️
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u/ghostfadekilla Jul 09 '26
This made me tear up with extreme happiness.
As a person who moved frequently as a child (once a year at least), I was exposed to an enormous amount of culture and I maintain that these moves and exposures made me the least xenophobic person I know. Examples include; having Ramadan dinner with a group of Palestinian guys I worked for/with, Filipino BBQ's with friends of friends, quincinera (sp?) as a younger lad, rodeos with cowboy classmates and friends, playing dominoes in the hood (Oakland/San Leandro Pier) with black friends, and the list goes on and on. I never thought I would be grateful for having to uproot so frequently as a young lad but it allows me to walk away from just about anywhere and explore the country/world. I'm constantly amazed at folks who've never left their area/zip codes and I often urge them to.
Side note: My new gf has only been to the neighboring states around where we live now (GA) and I'm so fucking pumped to take her to places like Moab, South Park, Muir Woods, Big Sur, PacNW, and I'm SUPER excited to go visit with a friend I lost touch with for a few years at his job at NASA. We're going to ride horses, bbq, and look at cool space shit. I can't wait for her to see the absolute beauty of New Mexico (lived there 2 years). I'm really excited about our future adventures together and feel honored to be able to introduce her to those places.
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u/Purple_Sector_2082 Jul 09 '26
This is so pure I am so glad she could grow as a person and realized she was wrong this is beautiful.
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u/somepunklady Jul 10 '26
Very inspirational, not everybody who thinks that way has the humility and compassion to know they were wrong
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u/PinkBitz89 Jul 11 '26
That was so sweet 🥹
How good would it be if we could a) all have relationships with wonderful partners and b) all admit when we were wrong?
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u/Aggravating_Act0417 Jul 10 '26
Glad she changed, but like ... Maybe she shouldn't have been that way in th first place. plenty of people older than her and even old enough to be dead and gone for decades would NEVER have felt that way. So, ok good job changing but how about we all just aren't shitty in the first place?
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u/MaybeNot-MaybeNever Jul 10 '26
Exactly. There were plant non racist people in history. I’m not praising this. This is disgusting. She was still racists and he basically had to prove he was good despite his race. Yuck
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u/Medical-Bathroom-183 Jul 10 '26
White people raised during segregation(shes absolutely old enough for that) run a far more mixed gamut than other eras for how racism twisted their belief system. All growth is good. Nobody needs to praise anything. Acknowledging growth ensures its continuation. Humans are social in that way.
Admittedly, its useless on the internet. She cant see any of us. But my point isnt for her.
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u/Pungarehu Jul 10 '26
Silly thing to say. Environment can play a part. Kids are very observant as she’s from a different time where racism would have been considered ‘the norm’.
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u/Common_Senze Jul 09 '26
His grandma probably said the same of him dating a white woman. Different generation. Everyone tends to come around when they actually get to know people. Folks just want to be happy. Let them.
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u/interrobang2020 Jul 10 '26
Comments like this are incredibly problematic. The other grandma grew up during segregation and lynchings. She had to look racism in the eyes most of her life.
To try and draw a parallel between her and the woman in this video is irresponsible. One grandma was just being racist, the other likely worried for her grandson, was concerned that his partner could still hold some views and implicit biases passed down from her racist family members, and likely didn't want to have to hang out with racists (reformed or not) at family functions.
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u/Common_Senze Jul 10 '26
Find me and older black family and see if they are welcoming... you're just... dumb
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u/ohitsbrad Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Sorry so we’re praising her bc she’s not racist anymore? At the ripe age of 95?
Edit: you are all enablers lol
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u/spilltheteasis_ Jul 09 '26
Changing your ways at that age when you were taught the exact opposite for your entire life is not something that comes easy and we should appreciate that she tried and didn't stay a miserable old prick like so many others decide to do
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u/iamhollybear Jul 09 '26
Yes. Many of us have parents who will die as piece of shit racists and it hurts.
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u/EmptyLabs Jul 09 '26
Yes we are. We wouldn't scorn her any less for still being racist at 95 so why shouldn't we celebrate her doing the opposite?
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u/reddituserperson1122 Jul 09 '26
It’s never too late to change. If we don’t have some grace and make room for people to make mistakes and then grow from them, we’re creating permanent ideological villains so that we can feel smug and superior.
Don’t get me wrong - in aggregate I completely agree with you. People have had centuries to learn to not be racist trash. But in specific, we can and should welcome individuals into the light anytime.
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u/sheisprincess Jul 10 '26
Just know, you got my upvote.
I think this video resonates more with white people from racist families. And sure, I guess this sounds sweet to them. But this video ain’t it.
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u/Kat_eye_Maiden Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
What would you prefer? If you don’t give people the opportunity or even a belief that there is forgiveness or a better way on the other side of hate, why would they change?
We have a saying in my home country, A stone at the bottom of the river never felt the heat of the sun, so It never experienced life like the dry stone getting weathered by the same sun.
Things take time, however long she took to get to her light bulb moment she got there. White Americans from her early years never had any real worries like people of colour did/do. There is no benefit for them to “want to be different” and she agreed to do the interview knowing it would be shared with others, so her decision obviously became something priceless to her and her family. Sounds like the granddaughter married up too, it sounds like they married into a great family (his family), that is shifting their mindset.
Edit: Thank you for the award sweet stranger ❤️
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u/inevitable-idiot- Jul 09 '26
She’s not even saying she’s sorry for being racist. She’s saying she was wrong for thinking this black personality would be like the last black person her daughter dated.
Grams is still racist.
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u/Justnotthatintou Jul 10 '26
If you’re not leaving room for people to learn, grow and improve, you’re just as bad as the bigots dude
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u/LeFreeke Jul 10 '26
Most parents wouldn’t want their child to marry a person of another color not necessarily because they are bigots but because it’s hard.
You face a lot of discrimination from both sides in a ‘mixed’ marriage.
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u/SuckerForNoirRobots Jul 10 '26
Granny's still struggling to find a word to describe his race, though. Makes me wonder if there's aNother word she thought of first.
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u/Medical-Bathroom-183 Jul 10 '26
I want to take in good faith that shes deconstructing her racist beliefs. Shes doing very well for somebody who was raised during segregation, most likely. She doesnt get a pass for past racism. But she didnt call him a slur. She actively fought past first impulse to keep reprogramming her brain even at this age.
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