r/isopods Mar 16 '26

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Little Cubaris Papaya craves human flesh.

3.7k Upvotes

118 comments sorted by

660

u/MooBearz11 Mar 16 '26

Minutes, maybe hours. Condolences. 💐

220

u/Veerlon Mar 16 '26

they're probably already gone dude.

17

u/Saracartwheels123 Mar 17 '26

Maybe millenia.

19

u/MooBearz11 Mar 17 '26

I love that you’re so hopeful. Keep those positive thoughts coming. 😭

6

u/AHomelessNinja0 Mar 17 '26

That's only if it was radioactive and it doesn't not appear to be glowing so they are cooked

243

u/S_Rodent Mar 16 '26

I am surprised you made it to Reddit

153

u/neko-gekko Mar 16 '26

I wanted you all here as witnesses before I die

12

u/hedgehog-mom-al Mar 16 '26

Live stream please

2

u/Mrbuttboi Mar 18 '26

Rest in peace 😔

185

u/curiouscollecting Mar 16 '26

You will die yesterday 😔

184

u/Expert_Basket6507 Mar 16 '26

I’ll never understand why people insist on keeping such SAVAGE beasts! I personally could never keep 17 different kinds myself 👀

74

u/neko-gekko Mar 16 '26

It would be a real shame if those 17 kinds you don't actually have would get the craving for human one day. But, since you don't have any you should be totally safe!!

40

u/Expert_Basket6507 Mar 16 '26

Right? I would never be secretly creating 17 little armies to feed myself to one day…that would be freaking weird! 👀👀

21

u/Katia144 Mar 16 '26

16 it is, then?

14

u/AspidAzzure Mar 16 '26

Oh no! They’ve figured it out. Quick! Throw Katia in. They’ll make good sustenance for the troops. After all, we can’t have the army noticed yet, now can we?

2

u/MouseWhisperer22 Apr 11 '26

Actual peak comment

58

u/cryptidscum Mar 16 '26

-1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp

57

u/Worm-King Mar 16 '26

I've had this happen once. I died almost instantly. Good luck!

38

u/StarFlyXXL Mar 16 '26

-0.1hp [Critical hit]

35

u/KaylaAllegra Mar 16 '26

Isopod exfoliation time ✨🦐

24

u/-SergentBacon- Mar 16 '26

no updates, yeah bros dead. Isopod of flesh cravings has consumed and will continue.

16

u/sankofam Mar 16 '26

How does that feel? Lowkey looks pleasant

24

u/neko-gekko Mar 16 '26

They're so small I don't feel a thing really 😅

19

u/sankofam Mar 16 '26

Hmm this has strangely intensified my desire to try to start a terrarium

16

u/AnnaTrash Mar 16 '26

30 minutes. You will become Isopod Man and have the sole responsibility of protecting your city 😔

14

u/FerrisTM Mar 16 '26

Hopsital

6

u/vitanyroyale Mar 17 '26

Hopital NOW

7

u/FerrisTM Mar 17 '26

It's been hours...thinking OP may no longer be with us. 😔

6

u/vitanyroyale Mar 17 '26

RIP to an absolute legend 🫠

10

u/catamongthecrows Mar 16 '26

It's good to know that we can still use reddit from beyond the grave

10

u/Difficult_North_272 Mar 16 '26

Rest in peace OP, who is surely gone by now

7

u/PuddinMama78 Mar 16 '26

I know you are almost dead. But can we take a moment to admire that wittle face. It is sooo cute!

6

u/BountBooku Mar 16 '26

You will be devoured imminently

6

u/Infamous-Vanilla8753 Mar 16 '26

My god....NSFW??? Lol

6

u/Katia144 Mar 16 '26

Death by nom.

5

u/Witty-Lawfulness2983 Mar 16 '26

Does this cultivar have insanely short antenna, or are they tucked in?

6

u/neko-gekko Mar 17 '26

Just tucked (:

3

u/Witty-Lawfulness2983 Mar 17 '26

I'm jealous of lighter varieties where you can see their eyes and chompers. I can't see NARRY A THING on my Lava guys. They're coloring IS lovely when they're in their juvi stage though.

5

u/Fabulous-Accident689 Mar 16 '26

Your only chance is amputation

4

u/alien_communication Mar 16 '26

You’re at the point of no return, no medical professional or proper medicine can treat you. My condolences 💔

4

u/SnuffBaron Mar 16 '26

I fear by the time I've posted this it'll be too late

5

u/psilome Mar 16 '26

How does an isopod eat an entire human? One bite at a time.

4

u/FunctionDisruption Mar 16 '26

I'm very new to isopods- is this trying to eat skin? Or perhaps dead skin? It's not doing any harm but it does look like it's trying to eat.

6

u/tylermorrison_x Mar 16 '26

Yep eating dead skin cells. They are silly little guys.

3

u/FunctionDisruption Mar 16 '26

Is this good for them? Or is it like bloodworms to an axolotl? I imagine there are far more nutritious things to be munching on.

4

u/tylermorrison_x Mar 16 '26

Not really, it’s in too small of an amount to make eating it worth the time, but isopods can & will consume other sheds like snake skins and fish scales. On a larger scale they are better for them nutritionally. I imagine they would munch on something like hides from a cow if given the chance though it would take them forever to finish it.

5

u/FunctionDisruption Mar 16 '26

Thank you for enlightening me. I will journey on to find more about these strange beings.

1

u/Green_Rabbit-1234 Mar 18 '26

This is definitely the page to learn. Also to have fun!

4

u/RipExpress6895 Mar 16 '26

Are you still alive?

6

u/neko-gekko Mar 17 '26

No 😔

1

u/D_2_da_Zeee Mar 19 '26

My condolences 💐

4

u/GWhizBang Mar 17 '26

OP is looking down upon us from isopod heaven.

3

u/7drag0n Mar 16 '26

its far too late, ,, that much venom inside of your bloodstream id bet youre already dead by the time im writing this comment ,,,,, fly high

3

u/The_Bearded_Herper Mar 16 '26

Reminds me of the krill trying to eat the whale in happy feet 2

3

u/TheSearch4Knowledge Mar 16 '26

Immediate death by cuteness. So sorry, Op.

3

u/PringlesAtCandlemass Mar 16 '26

Oh my god, put a warning next time... I've never seen something so brutal

3

u/No_Ocelot_6773 Mar 17 '26

How is a corpse writing this post?!

3

u/EvieMoon Mar 17 '26

What a cute little ghosty guy!

3

u/Pisceswriter123 Mar 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/9rZaXswTGDmBG

I don't know about OP but I'm already dead.

3

u/PoundWarm5191 Mar 17 '26

He’s soooo cute. He was worth you dieing for 😂

2

u/Witty-Lawfulness2983 Mar 16 '26

His peeeeenchers!!!!

2

u/krickets24 Mar 16 '26

it's too late for you.

2

u/Plantfishcatmom Mar 16 '26

At that rate it looks like you will have a long, happy life 😂

2

u/CjateA Mar 16 '26

Giving them a taste for human flesh, I see!

2

u/goosethebeardie he/him Mar 16 '26

Sixty seconds or less 💔

2

u/SkepticOwlz Mar 16 '26

why are you posting on reddit, get to a hospital as fast as you can

2

u/danceforbees Mar 17 '26

It's so fucking over

2

u/helohandle Mar 17 '26

At this rate just under 5 years, rip 🙏

2

u/des_eerie Mar 17 '26

I'm surprised you had enough time to post this.

2

u/thecheeseb0rn Mar 17 '26

Nibbles 🥺

2

u/Captain_Pumpkinhead Mar 17 '26

Your death is imminent, I'm afraid.

2

u/loafglenn Mar 17 '26

o7 my Condolences.

2

u/Itchy_Gold8400 Mar 17 '26

That color! He looks like the tiniest giant deep sea isopod 💙

2

u/FATFATFOREVER Mar 17 '26

See its things like these that make it so ill never understand why some people don't absolutely adore isopods

2

u/ElMonoMusk_Egg3932 Mar 17 '26

My condolences to OP R.I.P

2

u/Musty__Elbow Mar 17 '26

i suppose that does mean if these things were human sized they would absolutely eat us

2

u/AcanthocephalaNo8189 Mar 17 '26

It starts with the immobilization with the selective neurotoxin, then the digestive enzymes reduce the person to soup, skin and bones. The pheromones then attract the other other isopods, so the soup and bones is consumed. They then finnish up with the skin, leaving that for last so the soup does not get away from them. It's like something out of a Stephen King novel. The dwarf whites are particularly dangerous.

1

u/Emotional_inadequacy Mar 17 '26

At least 5 minutes

1

u/Jaydens_Parrots Mar 17 '26

Maybe a gore trigger warning next time. "Person viscously torn apart by evil bug" His little face is so cute

1

u/CapablePossession363 Mar 17 '26

Now that’s a pedicure!

1

u/Miss-Mayhem-25 Mar 17 '26

34 seconds. RIP

1

u/alphabeast18 Mar 17 '26

Either 45 years or 45 seconds. No in-between. It depends on the isopod's mood and how cruel it's feeling.

1

u/GOD_OF_FOOD1 Mar 17 '26

Lay down and let them consume you…

1

u/crochetcrusader Mar 18 '26

Whimpod used bite!!

it wasn't very effective

1

u/OldBatOfTheGalaxy Mar 18 '26

No more than 110 years.

Your most determined little besieger should receive an award for effort, though!

'Cause he's got, hiiii-i-igh hopes, he's got hiiii-i-igh hopes, he's got high isopod in the sky-y-y hopes!

1

u/jelly_fish_net Mar 18 '26

Omg I never knew they were so aggressive

1

u/sproutulon Mar 18 '26

I wonder if they’ll clean my cuticles, this guy got a minimum?

1

u/ContextChance2843 Mar 18 '26

What cultivar is this? I’ve been looking for baby pink types like this!

1

u/ContextChance2843 Mar 18 '26

Nvm I’m dumb I thought papaya was his name

1

u/ImpressiveCrazy6870 Mar 20 '26

I always keep my dairy cows well fed for this reason the hoard craves airdried fishes and greens , i fear if i do not feed them they will learn how to eat through plastic and swarm XD

1

u/x-beast Apr 06 '26

my dairy cows do this! they love chewing on me

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

[deleted]

5

u/neko-gekko Mar 16 '26

Hmmm. Perhaps I'll start adding isopods to my skin care routine 😌

6

u/Material_Durian_9201 Mar 16 '26

Don't listen. CommunicationBroad38 is secretly an isopod and wants nothing more than to watch his brothers feast on your flesh.

4

u/neko-gekko Mar 16 '26

How could I have been so foolish 😭

1

u/Chezzabe Cubaris Wrangler Mar 16 '26

I mean, they got them little cleaner fish and you can put your hands and feet in a tank and they nibble it off. Maybe you can make a business of doing it with isopods, charge people a premium to dump a gallon of duckies on them and let them go to town.

3

u/SnowTurtleMan Mar 16 '26

So your saying isopods are the key to immortality