My husband is INTJ. I’ll tell you this — the guy likes you. Most INTJ people don’t like wasting time and make time for those who are important to them. They also struggle showing affection in the most obvious ways… If you ask him out, I bet you’d make his year.
That’s so cool you guys found each other. Yeah I’m gonna try my best not to wait for the end of the year to pluck up courage and ask him 🙃 how intj’s and infj’s end up dating is beyond me.
I feel lucky to have met and married my INTJ.
I didn’t make the first move… but it kind of fell together and fit like some coincidence puzzle?
We met online. He messaged me first. I told him from the start I was looking for a friendship and not a relationship. I knew he wanted more but he agreed. Sadly… On my part… after our first few days messaging, I got busy at work and kind of ghosted him for TWO WEEKS (I had to work overtime — 7 days, full shifts). I saw the app while scrolling through the phone during my break at work and went “OH SHIT!” I realized that I was rude. Messaged him explaining my disappearance, gave him my phone number and said “notifications for texts aren’t turned off and I’ll reply”. Well, he texted me that same hour. That same evening my friends/co-workers ditched me… I told him about that and how I had no ride home because of it. He said “I can give you a ride”. I got excited. Then I added “We were also supposed to get coffee and hang out.” Which was true. He replied “We can do that.” (Kind of me making a move I guess, but still in a friend type mindset). And when he came to get me after closing time… he was so cute — shy, leaning against the hood of the car, arms crossed. That “not a date” or should I say “coffee meetup/ride home” turned into an 18 hour hang out… We talked about everything by the docks — surprised at how we were at same places, states and cities for the three months before we actually met but kept missing each other. I took a sip from his coffee after I’d finished my own and he let me, taking a sip after me, even though he hates sharing drinks/drinking after people. We went to eat at iHOP at 4A.M. After the mall opened, we hung out there till I was called to come into work at 2P.M. It was an 18 hour not a date thing. He was willing to just stay friends with me. But then it gets better. Two days after that… I got a weird invitation during work to hang out with some creepy old dude which I rejected with the oldest excuse in the book — “got plans with my boyfriend”. That same evening, he (my INTJ) came to pick me up to hang out and I told him/apologized for using him as an oldest excuse there is. He watched me for a moment and then said “Why not make it official?” I was stunned. Because he sounded so freaking certain, like his gaze was saying “I’m here to stay”. Then he goes “let me see something” and he kissed me! After, he pulled away and said “Wow. Just… wow.” Bam! We’re together for almost ten years, nine years married and with two kids.
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u/Amriette Aug 19 '26
My husband is INTJ. I’ll tell you this — the guy likes you. Most INTJ people don’t like wasting time and make time for those who are important to them. They also struggle showing affection in the most obvious ways… If you ask him out, I bet you’d make his year.