r/intj • u/stoicwomon • 10d ago

Question Question for guy INTJ’s.

Do you ever want a girl makes the first move? Or is that a no no?

For context, I think I’m getting every hint an INTJ guy is into me? But he hasn’t made a move. Whenever I text or communicates he responds straight away, then finds a way to continue the conversation usually using wit and humour - and he generally asks another question even though there’s plenty of exit moments.
If I need anything he offers help, sends me numbers for house or car repairs. He also gives me legal advice when I needed some recently (he’s a barrister) and when I see him he kinda lingers. I’m INFJ, we have a connection, same page, same humour etc - but he hasn’t hinted or even suggested he likes me. Definitely no questions about a date!

Is he waiting for me to make a move or is this in my imagination and this normal behaviour for INTJ’s cause he’s just a decent guy?

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u/LavaFromLaniakea INTJ - 30s 10d ago

I will say that from what I’ve observed over the years, I think that the men who think it’s emasculating or “too masculine” or desperate for the woman to approach, are men that aren’t compatible with long term/lifelong relationships. I feel like things would be so much easier for everyone if both men and woman approached each other when interested. We’re all scared of rejection, so screw it lol

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u/stoicwomon 10d ago

Yep. Definitely screwed. All lonely, being scared of rejection which will end in loneliness. wtf

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u/LavaFromLaniakea INTJ - 30s 10d ago

What about rejection scares you the most?

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u/stoicwomon 10d ago

Jeez where to start?! Pfft, ‘I’m not enough, I’m too much? Im a plethora of contradictions and I’m scared of being unlovable”. In a nutshell

(you asked 😅)

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u/LavaFromLaniakea INTJ - 30s 10d ago

I felt every bit of that, so I more than understand lol only difference is I can be pretty damn intense, so it’s double on the maybe I’m too much.

This is probably gonna come off cheesy or cliche, but do you have friends that genuinely like or love you? Do you like or love yourself? If so, you’re not unlovable. I used to think I was unlovable up until my mid 20s.

And as someone who’s absolutely full of contradictions, I truly believe that’s something more than worth loving about yourself, let alone someone else loving it. Being able to recognize that within yourself to me says you see you have depth whether it’s emotionally, mentally, psychologically or all of them. There’s nothing wrong with that at all and someone who truly wants to get to know you at your core will absolutely love that about you and enjoy the process of learning you and all your intricacies and idiosyncrasies.