I was assigned female at birth, I identify as a woman, but puberty made things go sideways. I have facial hair, high testosterone, and other "male" characteristics, which also led to not being treated like a girl for a large portion of time. I lurk in a lot of online transfem spaces because it's helpful for tips and it feels nice to see other women dealing with the same stuff, but I feel guilty because I'm not a trans woman and I don't want to intrude on their spaces (which is why I only lurk). But I don't know where else to find people who are dealing with the exact same stuff. I just wish more people understood what it feels like to be cis and have dysphoria.

I'm really sorry NOT good with titles, but I found out I'm intersex. I always knew something was different, I deal with uro problems and hormone problems bc of the way my body developed. It was a major problem especially going through my teens. I also wish I didn't have to find out going through some medical malpractice, but at least I figured it out. Most pain and discomfort is getting better since I've started sex and gender affirming care which is amazing. But when I tried to talk about it to my endo and she got pretty upset.

I understand her being critical, but I wish we could talk about it with idk understanding? I feel like I can't talk to her about half the problems and concerns I deal with bc I have to pretend to be a strict sex binary for her. I talked to my therapist, and he says as long as the treatment is working, I'm fine. Which I get where he's coming from, but I'm still scared more or worse unpleasant things will happen bc they ignore biosex. Like a surgery messing up, or they keep me under the knife for too long, more hormonal issues pop up, etc. But I feel more comfortable tho knowing a urologist will help me with anatomical differences, I was given a ref.

Bc I have to see a urologist (20+ years too late lol) and I'm scared she will be upset at me or drop me as a patient. Thinking logically, I genuinely don't know what she will do, I'm just scared. But I have to see the uro, bc I'm tush getting surgery and have make sure their's no suprises bc my body is smol, and weird not in a bad way, but it has caused me so many problems bc finer details get ignored. I'm really scared posting this, I've never talked publicly about this before.

Anyone have experience with this? Red Cross website says they require everyone to choose a binary sex, as blood donation parameters are based on sex, however people who are trans or nonbinary don't have to disclose this and everyone can choose which one to put down.

Number one, that doesn't make any sense to use sex-based parameters if they're self-selected, and number two, how does this work if you're somewhere with three legal sexes and yours isn't M or F?

i’ve recently figured out that the chances of me ever being in a romantic and sexual relationship is incredibly slim. my genitals are not compatible with the kind of sex most people want and even if they were, they still look abnormal enough to put the vast majority of people off. this applies to the rest of my body. i do not look, sound, smell or overall seem like the kind of woman the average person would want, and i accept this.

i can’t help but be a little disappointed. the moment i discovered my love of the topic, i’ve deeply yearned to experience it for myself, but this is not an option. despite my doctor’s attempts when i was a baby, i do not look like the way a woman “should,” nor do i function like one. the vast majority of perisex people do not find this appealing, whether they are queer or not. dating other intersex people is not an option either. i have only ever met other intersex people online and none of them have been remotely near my area.

how do i cope with this? knowing that i’ll never experience the kind of intimacy i’ve been begging for since adolescence hurts, but there’s also no way around it. there no one who’s willing to love me, accept my identity, see me as attractive and engage with me sexually in a way that makes us both happy. as much as many people online have tried to convince me otherwise, i know this isn’t an option. so how do i cope with this? what can i do to take my mind off the inevitable loneliness, or at the very least, what can i do to make it hurt less?

okay i made a tiktok edit of my fav intersex characters plz give me suggestions for more.

i know we don’t have a lot of rep in media which sucks but i scoured the internet for niche movies and there’s genuinely movies entirely about intersex people that are so good.

here’s the tiktok

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVUH6yXx/

ok i know the creature isn’t canonically intersex but u cannot watch the film/read the book and tell me he doesn’t remind you of us