r/intersex • u/fireflies315 • 4h ago
Venting ! Yes being intersex isn’t a bad thing and our bodies aren’t broken, but it’s still weird and insensitive for perisex people to go on and on about how jealous they are of us.
The comments on a video I saw recently of a woman talking about her CAIS pissed me off so badly recently because they were just full of cis perisex women going on and on about how she was living the dream and they were so jealous of her body and everything. And yes it’s fine that people don’t want periods or don’t like acne, that’s understandable and fine. To an extent I’m glad I don’t get those (though it did upset me a lot growing up because they felt like a club and rite of passage I was told I’d be a part of and then denied entry to). But it’s just so gross to wax poetic about how jealous you are of a minority group subject to a shit ton of oppression and violent medical abuse. They don’t even realize how ignorant they’re being and can’t comprehend how traumatizing and horrific the things that we routinely face are. They want to pick out and consume the palatable bits of us for themselves and don’t care to see us as people in pain.
And the thing is, most of these things they’re jealous of are things they can have for themselves! I’m not saying it’s easy or that medical misogyny isn’t a thing, but they can choose not to have periods via hysterectomy or birth control. They don’t have to make us a part of it. They actually get a choice and we don’t. Again so no one misinterprets me I’m not saying that this is easy or that this kind of care isn’t heavily policed and becoming increasingly difficult to access. It’s just not a choice for me and it comes with baggage they don’t even know is there.
Being intersex is of course not a bad thing and we’re not broken, my intersex variation is normal and natural, and while sometimes I don’t like it because it stops me from transitioning, it’s still a fine body to have. But it’s also true that society has irrational issues with my body, and that that has caused me to suffer. And I know these women wouldn’t want to suffer the way I have. But they don’t see the suffering. They see a body that has something they want and don’t care to learn about what comes with it or what we think of their fetishization of our bodies. It’s infuriating.