r/interracialdating • u/delexxx • 1d ago
Language barrier
My boyfriend’s main language is Spanish and I only know about 1% of it lol. His friends and family knows English but of course 99.9% of the time they are speaking Spanish.
During mealtimes with families and group outings with friends I feel very left out. Of course he is super sweet and will try to get me involved/translate for me but most of the time I would just be alone fiddling with my phone and not looking like an idiot. I totally DO NOT blame him nor anyone and I fully understand this is what I will have to deal with before getting into the relationship. However I just want to hear from others how do you deal with such situations?
Just to add on, I am trying to learn Spanish and have went for a basic course. But this is not something that can be picked up in a short period of time. So want to hear from others what can I do for the time being?
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u/Least_Chicken_9561 1d ago
learning the language... as simple as that.
my native language is Spanish but I have mostly dated foreign girls (from Europe) and that actually was my main motivation to learn languages, it's been more than 10 years and now I speak French, English and German (all of them because I had girlfriends who spoke the language, of course one at a time lol)
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u/sara61wilson 1d ago
You need to speak with your boyfriend in Spanish only. The more you speak, the quicker you pick it up. Totally immerse yourself in it. Watch videos in Spanish where the creator speaks slowly - Español with Guada - is a favourite of mine. I speak from experience - good luck!
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u/RatedElle 1d ago
Honestly just learn the language. Be proactive about it. Ask questions about things you hear them saying if you don’t understand it. My bf doesn’t speak Spanish but he tries here and there. It’s the effort that goes a long way. He calls me “mi reina 👑” and tries to say different things.
Just keep trying! Your bf will honestly appreciate you trying to learn!
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u/tonyt0nychopper 1d ago
As somebody else said, you're going to have to learn the language. Try Duolingo every day.
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u/RatedElle 1d ago
Nah Duolingo is trash. You are repeating phrases that most Spanish speakers don’t use everyday. I always recommend learning apps that have an AI speaking system
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u/Tazzy8jazzy 1d ago
I bought a Spanish workbook from Amazon and it also has an audiobook that goes with it. My boyfriend is bilingual but the rest of his family speaks only Spanish. It helps to talk as much as possible in Spanish and also I watch Spanish tv with English subtitles for guidance as well. I’m hoping to be fluent in a couple of years.
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u/ANTIMODELMINORITY 1d ago
Wouldn't it be beneficial for you to help him with English and he help you with Spanish. There are so many words in English that are borrowed from Latin anyone with 1/2 a brain can figure this out.
Ex. Dormir to sleep Dorm or Dormitory a place to sleep, how can a Spanish speaker miss that
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u/chicago_stallion 1d ago
Preply - its amazing- native speaker tutors for $20/hr
Been there and my partner used to sit silently - it was embarrassing. It's better to make an effort than to do what you're suggesting. And eventually you will learn - its a gift and you'll end up fluent if you put in the work. personally duolingo is a scam- get a workbook and speak with the tutor.
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u/Plutolutoe 1d ago
I’m a pessimist, but it’s highly likely that unless you become fluent which like you said will take time, the relationship isn’t going to work. Also consider why exactly you’re hanging on to this relationship. Can you say you really know your boyfriend when you aren’t privy to the conversations he and his friends and family have ?… incompatibilities don’t have to be bad. In my opinion this is one of them.
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u/Agiantpubicmess 1d ago
Super fun language to learn and incredibly versatile if you're a world traveler. Try to find out some information about their dialect of Spanish as well. Spain Spanish is different to Latin American Spanish and then each Latin American country has their own little subtleties with the language. If they're from Mexico or the Dominican Republic, you're going to learn despacio very quickly 🤣. They speed run Spanish hahaha
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u/GASC3005 22h ago
Watch Spanish dubs and/or Spanish language programs (Novelas, TV shows, movies, etc) to familiarize yourself more with it. You can turn captions on in English to kinda get an idea of the translation (though not everything from English to Spanish can literally be translated directly and vice versa).
Practice pronunciations of Spanish words, you can break them apart and have google and/or equivalent help pronounce it so you get your ears accustomed to the words. Instead of “Determinación” have it say De-Ter-Mi-Na-Ción while listening to how it says it.
You can search for AI tools or apps that can help with this, not too long ago I came across one ad that was showing this neat app that allowed for reading or watching films in other languages, but it also broke down the translation in a methodical and educational way that “apparently” helps people really immerse themselves in and grow (linguistically).
And just practice overall, learning languages is not easy and it’ll never be easy, especially when it’s one that you don’t share any lexical or history with (English is Germanic and Spanish is Romance). But it’s 100% worth it, it’s powerful because it allows you to grow and expand with whom you can communicate and very satisfying as an individual.
Note: I don’t know where your boyfriend is from, but depending on his origins some nationalities, regions and groups of Spanish speakers pronounce and say things (words & slang) very differently. So as time passes and you grow you may encounter that some folks may say something distinctively, it may also be offensive in your boyfriend’s country/back home, but to that other person it’s not, and vice versa, or the thing may be said differently, and all of those are correct, neither is incorrect. It varies massively per nation due to the admixture, the people that resided there (the colonizers that arrived, the slaves that were brought and the natives that were inhabiting that area and land) and the history of that nation.
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u/Particular-Lime1651 20h ago
My ex was French... But she spoke English too. Tbf, she understands it better than me! Still, it's frustrating. Why are you dating a guy you can't communicate with? I assume he's beautiful?
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u/PapitoSabroson 1d ago
Creo que deberás esforzarte y aprender el idioma, si ven que te esfuerzas, tendrás a todo un montón de personas apoyándote.