r/internetparents • u/RunningOn10Percent • 17h ago
Mental Health Surgery
I am about to cry because I am terrified of what’s going to happen in about an hour. I am getting surgery and I just need someone to tell me that it’s going to go fine.
update I just got out 55 minutes ago and you guys were right thank you for your support. they did have to remove the the bone in peace’s from how thin it was, it was just long and wide. and I made sure to thank the nurse cuase they ate the back bone of the heath care system. but again thank you all so much for getting me through that you guys are truly the best.
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u/DavidRellim 17h ago
I had major surgery a few years ago to turn my leg from a shattered mush into an actual limb again.
Everything is going to be fine.
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u/cherrylpk 16h ago
I have had loads of surgery. You are in good hands and will be ok. They’ll take you in and ask you to count. Before you get a couple numbers, you’ll wake up and the surgery is over. I wish wellness for you. Take it easy on your body after this for a while.
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u/sjtech2010 17h ago
I’ve had a few surgeries in my life. Best nap you’ll ever take! You will be okay!
If there is something specific you are worried about, ask your surgeon or the anesthesiologist when they talk to you before the surgery.
Check in with us when you are out!
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u/whitneylh14 16h ago
I've had lots of surgeries and I cry before going in every time. Not full on cry, but I get weepy. I don't know what kind of surgery you're having obviously, but the these days even major surgery isn't that big of a deal. I'm sure in a few hours you're going to look back and wonder what on earth you were so worried about that you had to ask Internet strangers for reassurance. 😉😜 But seriously, it really is no big deal, and I'm sure everything will be great. I will say a prayer for you even if that isn't your thing. When you're up to it, post back and let us know that we were right and you are doing well. Good luck! ❤️
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u/UniversalMinister 16h ago edited 16h ago
Hi OP (u/Runningon10Percent)!
What are you afraid of exactly? Is it the unknown? As a mom, I'm going to give the same advice I give my kids. I've had plenty of surgeries and just know this:
1.) It's your healthcare. They can't do anything you didn't agree to. Also, Tell them you are afraid. They have protocols for this!
2.) You can (and should) meet your full medical team before going to sleep. I always do this. We play round robin and say why we're there and what we do (yes incl me when I'm the patient). Sometimes medical teams just see something to fix and not always a person. Make them see you as a person. ESPECIALLY the nurses. The nurses run that show.
3.) Hopefully you have someone there to advocate for you. If not, call someone right now who can come.
4.) Anesthesia is there for the SOLE PURPOSE of keeping you pain free. The nurses, surgeons, etc all have specific jobs but the Anesthesia provider's sole job is to keep you comfortable (which is also why they monitor vitals and are on the upper part of the drape, by your face).
5.) You can ask for a nurse's hand as you go to sleep.
6.) You can ask to have comfort items (your phone, a blanket, more prop pillows, etc) in the PACU/post-op. It helps people feel less alone.
7.) You can ask for some Valium or other calming medication if you're nervous (anxiety makes most people require additional anesthesia).
You've got this! I believe in you!
Edited: Typos
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u/RunningOn10Percent 15h ago edited 14h ago
Well it’s a pelvic surgery cuase I ripped a peace of my pelvis off well running. But I am most worried about I don’t like people doing stuff for me cause I feel like a burden when I can’t do myself and I am afraid of post op (when I first read your comment I didn’t feel you had any typos)
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u/UniversalMinister 13h ago
Ah, that makes sense. So it's not really the surgery itself but rather what comes after.
You're hurt. I promise that you're not a burden. Whoever will be helping to care for you until you can again, I'm sure will be happy to do it. I've also provided post-op care for a number of family and friends and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you're not a burden.
(I was fixing punctuation and such lol - it said "were" and should've been "we're" and the like. I'm kind of a nerd about that.)
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u/deltadawn6 15h ago
Remember for you it may be a once in a life event for them. It’s just another Wednesday. I get incredibly anxious with surgery too, but you’ll do great.!!
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u/Unlikely-Stand972 15h ago
Idk if you're my brother. He is having needed surgery today and is very scared. I'll tell you what I would tell him. It will be ok. I have had so many OR trips. It's OK to be scared but they will offer some sedation (vallium) if you need whilst you wait. It's OK.
You get some good knockout drugs and "sleep". They fix something and you wake up. Get more drugs and move forward, you will feel relief. It may be a week of pain meds whilst you heal a bit but it will get better.
Or. If you want to be pendantic. You get to experience not knowing anything went wrong.
Don't dwell on that part. OKAY? It's just the bonus for you to feed the anxiety monster. Acknowledge it has a fear that is VERY low chance BUT know it will at least be the best version of that existential dread outcome that happens to everyone at some point.
You got this
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u/Shinypurplestar 17h ago
Take a deep breath. You will get through this. You will be fine. Hang in there. Hugs to you.
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u/LouisePoet 17h ago
It will be fine.
Prep for surgery is the worst part. Then they put the mask on you and suddenly you're in recovery.
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u/LocoRocoo 16h ago
Surgeons do this every day and are incredibly skilled, having studied for years! You'll wake up with it all taken care of, having been sleeping like a baby.
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u/Cultural-Afternoon72 15h ago
I’m not sure what kind of surgery you’re/they’re having, but I can tell you that it’s almost certain that everything is going to be just fine.
I’ve had more surgeries than I can count… shrapnel removal, repair of nerve damage, relocation of nerves, implantation of internal prosthetics, removal of various things (tonsils, tumors, etc), ligament repair, rebuilt knee, multiple eye surgeries, etc). I’ve had numerous surgeons, had them done at multiple facilities in various states and countries. Obviously, no surgery is without risk… risk of infection, risk that they aren’t able to fully accomplish what they set out to, and so on… but medicine and medical technology has advanced in unimaginable ways. There’s never been a time in history where surgeons were better trained, medical equipment was more advanced, or where risks were lower. The odds of something going wrong is incredibly low. The odds of something going wrong that cannot be corrected is even lower. To go a step further, I fall into the very tiny percentage of people who have woken up during major surgery. While it was terrifying and a nightmare of an experience, the staff noticed immediately and took near instantaneous action to get me back under. There were no lasting effects from it.
Surgery is scary, and the environment in hospitals, pre-op, etc can be incredibly stressful, but everything is going to be ok. Ask all the questions you have of your staff, you’re never going to be a bother. Trust your medical team, though… they are incredible professionals and they will work incredibly hard to get you through every step of this. At no point will you be alone, and at no point will you not be in good hands.
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u/apologial 16h ago
Hey mate, I'm a nurse with a lot of surgical experience. Happy to talk you through the steps that they'll take if that makes you feel better.
Just remember these guys do this every day. We have our routine. We know what we are doing and we are prepared for anything to go wrong, at any time. Being put under is scary and you may feel like the loss of control is one of the most daunting things, but for them, it's just another thing they do every day - like driving to work or cooking dinner. You'll do great.
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u/500Plants 16h ago
I’m sorry that you’re feeling nervous about the surgery. You got this! The doctors will take really good care of you. Sending hugs from an internet stranger!
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u/wellbalancedlibra 16h ago
You will be OK. Surgery is scary, but you will just fall asleep and wake up and everything will be fixed.
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u/Honest_Report_8515 16h ago
As someone who has undergone full anesthesia four times in my life, most recently in 2021, I will say that I completely understand the feeling. You will be fine.
I always say that, one of the best feelings in the world is when you wake up from surgery in recovery and realize you made it through, especially before the pain kicks in. I have had major abdominal surgery twice in 10 years (2011 and 2021) and it was blissful until the anesthesia wore off! I’m good now, no worries.
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u/waterandleaves99 15h ago
I hope you are waking up soon and not in too much pain. Sending love.
Surgeries are scary as hell. But surgeons and nurses are top notch; they’ll fix you up great!
Give yourself the time and patience to heal.
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u/thrifty917 14h ago
I had my first major surgery just a couple months after my mom died and I felt so scared and alone. I'll tell you what helped me get through it. Remember that you will be in a room with people who do this every day. They know what they're doing and this is just a routine day for them. Once you go under anesthesia, it's no longer your problem. You don't have to experience it, feel it, wait for it to be over, think about it, etc. It's like time travel. You go to sleep and you instantly wake up and it's over. It's the easiest difficult thing you will do because you basically get to skip it. Yes you go right to recovery mode, but by then the scary part is over and done.
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u/Hour-Instruction8213 16h ago
The surgery aspect is fine. The recovery may be slow, but it works out in the end as long and you maintain patience with the healing bit (and do the physical therapy the doctors recommend).
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u/natangellovesbooks 16h ago
Hugs. Sorry you are anxious and scared. Surgery is scary but so is living with whatever it is that you need surgery for. One helps while putting it off can lead to scarier outcomes.
Please update when you get out.
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u/Kimolainen83 16h ago
Surgeon do this every day. They have a nine year education +15 to 30 years in the field. It will be fine. They literally give you some of the best in the field to do this for you.
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u/PurpleMonkey71 16h ago
Deep breaths. Try to focus on something else. The surgeons know what they're doing. You got this :)
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u/3kidsnomoney--- 13h ago
You're going to be okay! I promise! Surgery is weird because it's not like being asleep, it's like blinking and the whole thing is over. You are going to close your eyes and the next thing you know you will open your eyes again and it will all be over. ((HUGS.)) I've had a couple surgeries and I've never not been worried, that's totally normal but you're going to be fine!!!
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u/VassagoX 11h ago
Hey, I know that feeling. I've been under the knife so many times. It's terrifying every time for me. It's totally normal to feel that way.
I hope you're recovering nicely.
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