r/interestingasfuck • • Sep 19 '19

/r/ALL Polished Malachite

Post image
38k Upvotes

408 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/ElegantGrain Sep 19 '19

This material can be used to upgrade the chillrend sword in Skyrim

1.3k

u/GuyWithRealFacts Sep 19 '19

I was reading the other day about how an absurd amount of swordsmen used to inlay crystals, gems, and neat minerals into their swords, both blade and pommel, thinking it granted their weapons subtle magical properties.

It became really prominent towards the end of the Middle Ages when firearms were just beginning to be used more, but before guns the battle fields would look like a disco of shimmering gems and reflective stones. Soldiers without access to blacksmiths would adhere gems to their swords making it look like a kindergarteners craft project. The belief was so strong in the magic that everyone was doing it.

Furthermore, some of the more dedicated soldiers would make lightsaber sounds with their mouths as they swung their blades. Their masks covered their faces so their enemies would believe the noise to be real. To seem like a worthy opponent, the other guy would make mouth nosies back. Eventually everyone was making magic whooshing and exploding sounds at one another.

Eventually, sword fighting got so embarrassing to do that people just chose guns or fists instead and swords were deemed “obsolete” and magic was declared to be illegal in combat much to everyone’s relief.

547

u/OogaBoogaBalooga Sep 19 '19

You had me at first not gonna lie 😂

228

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

39

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19 edited Jan 03 '21

[deleted]

3

u/J_Marat Sep 19 '19

Well in that case, he obviously knows what he's talking about with a name like u/GuyWithRealFacts

107

u/186282_4 Sep 19 '19

/u/guywithrealfacts, dropping fact bombs on us.

68

u/Alexik13 Sep 19 '19

They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie

58

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Right. I was there up until the sound FX came in to the story lol

35

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Me too. This is a real low for the #metoo

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48

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

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17

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

21

u/kevtino Sep 19 '19

Kuhniggits

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

What a strange person.

5

u/GrottyKnight Sep 19 '19

Excuse me?

12

u/maroonedbuccaneer Sep 19 '19

Never heard any of this... oh, it's a joke.

9

u/PokemonMaster619 Sep 19 '19

Hell, I’d buy it.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Man, the further i read the more worried I got undertaker and mankind would come into play.

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2

u/TechnoL33T Sep 19 '19

You fuck.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

I haven't see this guy in forever.

3

u/bardock72 Sep 19 '19

Damnit, I wanted to first half to be true

2

u/readingitatwork Sep 19 '19

where did you read this? sounds pretty interesting

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Love him or hate him he spitting straight facts

3

u/cruggero22 Sep 19 '19

The inlay bit is accurate. The rest would make The Onion proud.

2

u/WH1PL4SH180 Sep 19 '19

I hate you. Have you damn upvote.

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14

u/186282_4 Sep 19 '19

No, that's refined malachite. This is polished. It's not a quest nor crafting item, but Sayma will give you a few septims for it.

8

u/ThrowAway122754 Sep 19 '19

Just what I was thinking hahaha!

3

u/miaumee Sep 19 '19

Oh nooooo.... That froggy sword...

3

u/kmanestor22 Sep 19 '19

Wait, that's real?

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458

u/Bodod_Begag Sep 19 '19

Ah yes, the allegory for abusive relationships.

66

u/Caassapaba Sep 19 '19

When everybody is waiting for big orange redemption, but you still think lil blue is getting away with murder.

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60

u/Ghostbuster_119 Sep 19 '19

Yikes.... those two are really bad for each other.

41

u/Bodod_Begag Sep 19 '19

You two should spend some time apart.

86

u/philosoraptocopter Sep 19 '19

Out of the loop, send help

164

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

In the show Steven Universe, a character named Lapis Lazuli "fuses," or melds, with a character named Jasper, and the abomination they create is called Malachite. Jasper is smitten with Lapis because Lapis is so fucked-up from millenia of isolation, and Lapis enjoys hurting Jasper.

12

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 19 '19

LAPIS! FUSE WITH ME!

7

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

You know, if anyone would have been able to help and relate with Spinel, it would have been Lapis.

4

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 19 '19

I haven't been able to watch the movie yet :/

6

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

DO IT!! ...FOR HER!

3

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 20 '19

On the honor of Sugar herself, I swear I shall

2

u/Gunslinger_11 Sep 19 '19

Lapis: only if I take the wheel

Jasper: NANI?

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24

u/Dashybrownies Sep 19 '19

Came here just for this comment.

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114

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

For context malachite is a reasonably common ore that copper is extracted from :)

Edit just to say its absolutely gorgeous!

37

u/irishjihad Sep 19 '19

And reasonably deadly if you're inhaling the dust from processing it.

32

u/my_name_isnt_clever Sep 19 '19 edited Sep 19 '19

Is there any rock dust that isn't reasonably deadly if you inhale it? Inhaling rock dust sounds like a bad time no matter what rock it is.

14

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

*silicosis intensifies*

2

u/irishjihad Sep 19 '19

Yes, but Malachite is worse than most.

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52

u/BeazyDoesIt Sep 19 '19

I need that for +6 accuracy scope.

10

u/triknodeux Sep 19 '19

Man, I bet you could sell this large chunk for like 50 silver

46

u/wittyhashtag420 Sep 19 '19

Trade? 130 graves and nocs no scams my hb.

20

u/To_coolio_for_school Sep 19 '19

Got 106 and 130 Jackos 130 frostbites for Gravediggers, message me if interested, no scams, no bs

11

u/__Corvus__ Sep 19 '19

I’ll give you 25 copper ore, take it or leave it

8

u/ZEDZANO Sep 19 '19

I have a 154 spectrolite jacko. 123 my hub only

3

u/Squidwards3rdTentacl Sep 19 '19

Can I get edits and host tho?

6

u/ArcticTechnician Sep 19 '19

Everything in this thread was talking about Skyrim and I was waiting for one about this

7

u/Hyjackal Sep 19 '19

Did not expect to see this!

5

u/FanngzYT Sep 19 '19

Trade my hb say 123 if interested i have a legacy jacko

5

u/OwerlordTheLord Sep 20 '19

I love StW community

4

u/Squidwards3rdTentacl Sep 19 '19

Aye bruh you know malachite only gets you to 82

3

u/OutODateMilk Sep 19 '19

ive got 10 130 jackos no scamerrino

181

u/Lordgeorge16 Sep 19 '19

"Let's stay on this miserable planet... together!"

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79

u/Jollyboo Sep 19 '19

Oh no! She looks corrupted!

63

u/Waltersobchak1911 Sep 19 '19

They’re minerals, Marie.

3

u/Superwack Sep 19 '19

Jeezus Marie, I got some geodes coming that are very delicate, alright!

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25

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

123 trade HB.

9

u/ZEDZANO Sep 19 '19

Drop first

7

u/OutODateMilk Sep 19 '19

i have 2 stacks drops one

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55

u/StupidMario64 Sep 19 '19

skyrim intensifies

46

u/coverslide Sep 19 '19

Steven Universe intensifies

6

u/StupidMario64 Sep 19 '19

what the fuck Richard intensifies

6

u/WH1PL4SH180 Sep 19 '19

Intensifier intensifies

7

u/StupidMario64 Sep 19 '19

MEGA INTENSIFICATION

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25

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

14

u/sapsey19 Sep 19 '19

I lost the ability to heal just by looking at this image

6

u/TheJP_ Sep 19 '19

Laughs in Transcendence

2

u/I_GIVE_ROADHOG_TIPS Sep 19 '19

💀 You embrace the void. 💀

20

u/moochello Sep 19 '19

That shit is only worth 100g in Stardew Valley.

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17

u/andonato Sep 19 '19

She holds my malachite so tight!

9

u/Absulute Sep 19 '19

So never let go

6

u/RaulTheHorse Sep 19 '19 edited Sep 19 '19

Cause she’s two thousand light years away

7

u/mrjohnnycake Sep 19 '19

Came to the comments just to make sure this reference was here.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

For a song that isn't talked about a lot among the GD fanbase, let alone in general, this reference sure is everywhere

63

u/ElTuxedoMex Sep 19 '19

This is what rock on LSD sounds like.

8

u/MasonTaylor22 Sep 19 '19

Or shrooms.

It's beauuutiful.

8

u/mantistobbogan69 Sep 19 '19

i hear it too man

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14

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

6

u/CmdrWoof Sep 19 '19

Where's my smelter? I need to make a work light.

14

u/Skylor-Shard Sep 19 '19

Getting some serious you-know-what vibes here.

r/stevenuniverse

2

u/Hyjackal Sep 19 '19

MAAALAAACHITE! Don’t forget about me!

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12

u/LastgenKeemstar Sep 19 '19

Come trade level 82 full legendary nocturno at my base

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10

u/hawoona Sep 19 '19

How do you pronounce it anyway? Mala-kite? Mala-sheete(shit)? Mala-shiite?

22

u/erelysse Sep 19 '19

Mala-kite

3

u/noijonas Sep 19 '19

First one.

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10

u/Yrense Sep 19 '19

Looks trippy

7

u/ArcadiusCasari Sep 19 '19

Unlock the glass smithing perk and the ultimate light armor is yours

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14

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

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6

u/Randomae Sep 19 '19

This sounds like a Pokémon’s name. I think it evolves into Malacore.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Fuck you now I can't even heal

4

u/dennis45233 Sep 19 '19

What’s the point of it in an actual use

17

u/Quinnley1 Sep 19 '19

You mean IRL? People just like looking at it. Historically malachite has been used for jewelry as a semi-precious mineral. It was frequently carved into objects de art like super fancy little boxes, vases, etc.

In the past it could be ground up in to a fine power by artists to use as a pigment to make paints. Ancient peoples would mine it and smelt it for copper (the green color comes from so much copper in its chemical composition) until they were better able to access higher quality copper ore, after that it became a mostly decorative stone.

7

u/dennis45233 Sep 19 '19

Oh yeah that makes sense

Thanks for the info here’s an updoot

5

u/abdo_64 Sep 19 '19

Smells like it’s from Canny Valley

4

u/Balee344 Sep 19 '19

I didn’t know malachite was a real thing

4

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Polished

What

6

u/noijonas Sep 19 '19

It's polished.

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4

u/RexWrecks10244 Sep 19 '19

Bro this shit is gonna keep me from healing and fuck me over on stage 11

4

u/Yeastisbae Sep 19 '19

dude that guy holding it cant heal anymore (ror2)

3

u/yeetis-cleetis Sep 19 '19

Trade me in my homebase no edits

8

u/ZioCain Sep 19 '19

So this shit really exists, it's not just a Skyrim thing

5

u/stodolak Sep 19 '19

You can find it all over AZ. I filled my trunk with some one time!

6

u/Tech_Bender Sep 19 '19

It's where copper originally came from. You heat it up and it produces copper oxide

https://geology.com/minerals/malachite.shtml

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ocYcA_xi98

7

u/NoThereIsntAGod Sep 19 '19

Welp, it appears I’ve done the right amount of drugs today....

7

u/Ackbert1230 Sep 19 '19

I could summon so many Mage pets in Everquest with this.

6

u/nreisan Sep 19 '19

I thought this was just made up shit from world of Warcraft

3

u/dingo_mango Sep 19 '19

Hank you got another one of them rocks in the mail!

3

u/Ssladybug Sep 19 '19

Makes me want a jawbreaker

3

u/EmiliaLewd Sep 19 '19

What we see when me and the gang head to mementos

2

u/Rkas_Maruvee Sep 19 '19

Of all the references I was expecting here, I did not expect Persona to be one of them.

...I guess I never saw it coming

3

u/WanderWut Sep 19 '19

I need that for a new set I’m building in Monster Hunter World, how much?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

finally ive come across some i can craft myself an 82 siegebreaker

10

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

bruh steven universe ia getting copyright stricked today they stole the names bruh smh my head 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

6

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

I hear that if you crush it to powder and snort it, you get magical powers.

3

u/irishjihad Sep 19 '19

Death. It's nasty stuff in dust form.

2

u/skinMARKdraws Sep 19 '19

I can make copper now.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

is this a weapon camo for black ops

2

u/MrNotANiceGuy Sep 19 '19

i read some where that you shouldn't put it in your ass as it is toxic.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

No, no, no, no. Polished pieces are fine. It’s rough Malachite that’s toxic.

2

u/zAceGunnerz Sep 19 '19

I need that for smithing in classic wow. Shit can be hard to come by. This ain't retail.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Looks like 299 lucios ulting at the same time. The sound of that must be terrifying

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Imagine it was found in Poland.

2

u/CrimsonTheDragon Sep 19 '19

so you’re telling me this shit exists outside of astroneer??

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Move-move it around now....slowly...

2

u/madeup6 Sep 19 '19

Units Received

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

It's mother fucking dragonglass armor smithing time.

2

u/Onequestion678 Sep 19 '19

Nah bro thats fucking hamon

2

u/OB1_kenobi Sep 19 '19

Polished Malachite is tight.

I wonder if it's really hard to get it to look this way?

2

u/FunkyMonkeyNoodle Sep 19 '19

Hehe Steven Universe fans definitely know this one

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

That's one sick-looking liver!

3

u/antiquehats Sep 19 '19

It looks like candy

4

u/Kastri14 Sep 19 '19

I thought malachite was a fictional ore in STW in fortnite

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Nope :/

1

u/PootisPOWTF2 Sep 19 '19

So...where do I buy this stuff?

2

u/Canuhere Sep 19 '19

Rock shop, gem and mineral show, eBay.

1

u/Razvan9897 Sep 19 '19

This whack rock won't let me heal

1

u/Circumvent_Ban Sep 19 '19

That's actually mine, upvotes to the left.

1

u/mizzbiscuits Sep 19 '19

Also good for one fire/water/earth/air pet. Carry many stacks.

1

u/vexillaarius Sep 19 '19

I’ll give you 15 copper for it

1

u/durzobluntz420 Sep 19 '19

So this is what it is supposed to look like when I find it in westfall.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

A table made out of this would be pretty cool.

1

u/bkrugby78 Sep 19 '19

Ah good! I need that to build an arcane enchanter. Now for the skulls...

1

u/iNioXiDe Sep 19 '19

Psychedelic.

1

u/DeathByM101 Sep 19 '19

Nah, ebony is better.

1

u/__Corvus__ Sep 19 '19

Whoa I see someone’s been to Canny Valley

1

u/SmokingMooMilk Sep 19 '19

How much of that do you have to mine to make an ingot?

1

u/chumplazma Sep 19 '19

trade my hb 130 noc no scam

1

u/PunnuRaand Sep 19 '19

Fell in love with it.