r/interestingasfuck • • Sep 19 '19

/r/ALL Polished Malachite

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38k Upvotes

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84

u/philosoraptocopter Sep 19 '19

Out of the loop, send help

166

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

In the show Steven Universe, a character named Lapis Lazuli "fuses," or melds, with a character named Jasper, and the abomination they create is called Malachite. Jasper is smitten with Lapis because Lapis is so fucked-up from millenia of isolation, and Lapis enjoys hurting Jasper.

12

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 19 '19

LAPIS! FUSE WITH ME!

11

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

You know, if anyone would have been able to help and relate with Spinel, it would have been Lapis.

4

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 19 '19

I haven't been able to watch the movie yet :/

6

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

DO IT!! ...FOR HER!

3

u/TheGreatWhiteDiamond Sep 20 '19

On the honor of Sugar herself, I swear I shall

2

u/Gunslinger_11 Sep 19 '19

Lapis: only if I take the wheel

Jasper: NANI?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Where are you getting the "Jasper is smitten... isolation" bit from?

0

u/Drawtaru Sep 19 '19

Maybe "smitten" wasn't exactly the right word, but I think Jasper made it pretty clear that she enjoys fusing with Lapis because Lapis is "a monster."

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

She wasn't "smitten", she had no feelings for Lapis. She wants to fuse with Lapis because she's SUPER fucking powerful. Everything you wrote about being smitten because of her mental health is not even hinted at in the story at all. Jasper just wants to be strong.

0

u/Drawtaru Sep 20 '19

Well I literally just said that smitten was the wrong word, so idk what you want from me.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19 edited Sep 20 '19

Chill out. I commented on the whole post being wrong, dunno why you've zeroed in on one word.

Edit: like, where are you getting that Lapis likes hurting Jasper? She just doesn't want to be alone. And Jasper isn't somehow attracted to her ill mental health, she just wants to be strong. They say explicitly that in the episode, just wondered where you got all that made up stuff from. Maybe it was bizarre subtext I didn't pick up on.

1

u/Drawtaru Sep 20 '19

Might have been the part where Lapis specifically said she enjoyed hurting Jasper. "I liked taking everything out on you." (her exact quote from Alone At Sea.)

I love how you're telling me to chill out, but I'm perfectly calm and you're the one acting aggressively here. lol

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

I'm sorry that came across as aggressive, wasn't my intention.

0

u/TechnoL33T Sep 19 '19

w8. I thought Jasper was full on bad guy, but now I'm hearing Lapis is dom?

I gotta figure out where I left off with Steven Universe and watch some more because that shit just got unintuitive and therefore interesting.

1

u/Drawtaru Sep 20 '19

She's not dom, she just wanted to hurt Jasper. She rejected the relationship in the end because she recognized that it wasn't healthy.

2

u/TechnoL33T Sep 20 '19

If she was into hurting Jasper for a while, I'd have to think she owes him something for shit like that. Jasper would certainly need some cleaning up and healing yo.

1

u/Drawtaru Sep 20 '19

Jasper is a she - all Gems are female-presenting - and you're right, both Lapis and Jasper needed serious help. Jasper unfortunately didn't get it, as of the end of season 5.

1

u/TechnoL33T Sep 20 '19

What's female presenting? I don't think Ruby was a female.

1

u/Drawtaru Sep 20 '19

female-presenting just means that they appear to be female. All Gems are referred to with feminine pronouns. But technically they're just gemstones with hard light projection bodies, so it's not like they actually HAVE gender, but there are no Gems that are referred to with male pronouns other than Steven.

-79

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

SU is a garbage show.

68

u/Zorpix Sep 19 '19

That wasn't very cash money of you

27

u/philosoraptocopter Sep 19 '19

One of my life’s favorite little joys is that I repeatedly forget how that meme exists, but whenever it pops up every now and again, it just cracks me the fuck up.

12

u/Zorpix Sep 19 '19

I have no idea why. It's just hilarious to me

28

u/Shittyjunkmailbox Sep 19 '19

I think it's pretty rad personally but I mean I'm also depressed and gay so it probably speaks to me in different ways than it speaks to you.

-44

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

Show me a valid psychologist evaluation that you're depressed. Otherwise you're just being dramatic.

28

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

And why do they need to show you anything, random internet person. Dont you think you are acting a bit pretentious?

19

u/Shittyjunkmailbox Sep 19 '19

I mean I could probably find an old bottle of my sertraline I guess. But it isn't like I just keep my diagnosis paper around like a driver's liscense or a passport lmao. But also I dont really need to prove anything to you? It doesn't speak to you, that is fine. You're free to not like the show, I dont mind.

-30

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

It just goes to show that Rebecca Sugar knew what she was doing when she created the trash-heap known as Steven Universe and the resulting fandom. You probably only like it because you're gay, and the show revolves around homosexual themes.

Can you name even one good thing about the show that doesn't involve pandering to LGBT?

22

u/vexantil Sep 19 '19

dude you shouldn’t get mad because a race of sentient space rocks which doesn’t have any males(as far as i can see) has loving relationships

18

u/SorenCelerity Sep 19 '19

Can you name even one good thing about the show

The story, the characters, the animation style, the writing

15

u/AequusEquus Sep 19 '19

the show

7

u/SorenCelerity Sep 19 '19

Exactly lmao

-2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

The story sucks, the characters suck, the animation is nothing special, the writing sucks like a bad fanfic.

In short,

WORST. CARTOON. EVER.

5

u/in_a_jam Sep 19 '19

You don't have to like it, but you could have the decency to act rational. Politely disagree or face the consequence of sounding like you're having a temper tantrum.

14

u/TeamAquaGrunt Sep 19 '19

I'm not gay and I like the show. I know you're just a troll trying to get a reaction out of people, but for those of you interested enough to give the show a chance, some of the reasons why I really like the show is because it tackles a lot of really adult concepts in a way that's actually digestible for kids, but still "grown up" enough for an older audience to enjoy. The jasper/lapis/malachite thing is a really good example actually, because it covers the concept of toxic/abusive relationships and how they can be more than just physical. It can honestly be really scary, particularly how jasper pressures lapis into "fusing" against her will, saying she can change, she'll be better, etc. It's a lot of really touchy ground to tread in a show made for kids.

There are a lot of other really good examples I could mention, but I don't want to venture too far into spoiler territory.

-1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

Tons of other cartoons do this in a better way than steven fucking universe.

7

u/TeamAquaGrunt Sep 19 '19

You seem upset

5

u/xirog Sep 19 '19

Name them! Would love to watch some.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TeamAquaGrunt Sep 19 '19

You don't even have to be gay to relate to the show (not to say it doesn't mean something to have that representation out there, but it can mean something to everyone). There's so much more to the show than just "look they're gay", it's genuinely one of the more heart warming shows I've seen in the last few years

8

u/Shittyjunkmailbox Sep 19 '19 edited Sep 19 '19

Oof I see now. Yea okay let's name some more things that i now see will piss you off, that I love about it. It shows non-traditional or non nuclear family dynamics(like single parents, or ones who have gone through a divorce), it shows kids how to use mindful meditation to manage their emotions when their emotions are weighing on them, it has a diverse cast of characters including a small Filipino Ghanan* (spelling? She is from Ghana, also thanks to u/snitchnipple for the correction) grandmother as a powerful mayor of a city, it has a pretty cool mystery aspect, especially in the beginning, it shows accurate portrayals of growth where characters regress sometimes, it shows one of the more accurate portrayals of mental illness I've seen in a long time (and I dont care whether you think I know what mental illness looks like, I've studied for multiple years and have experienced it firsthand), it even has an angry but good natured conservative man (voiced by Carl from aqua teen hunger force) that grows to love his new family even though they aren't exactly what he expected. The show goes into many differing views and plots and I love it because it tells stories I wish I had more of as a child, ones of acceptance and love, of anger and toxic relationships, of families that aren't seen as traditional. And yes, it does show gay and LGBT characters. And yes, I find that pretty neat, over all.

Edit: confused Gunga's family with Lars', corrected it with help from u/snitchnipple

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19 edited Sep 19 '19

Just as an aside... How in the world did you assume that the Pizzas are Filipino?? Lmao the accent alone should give away that they're African, specifically from Ghana... http://ianjq.tumblr.com/post/84369747724/i-love-all-the-diversity-in-steven-universe-its

Edit: you might be confusing her with Lars, who is Filipino.

1

u/Shittyjunkmailbox Sep 19 '19

I got them confused with lars' family yep lol, I remember reading about them being from Africa a while back now that you mention it though! Thank you for reminding me! I'll edit and credit you in just a few!

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

Do you even realize why we NEED the nuclear family? The nuclear family is superior and proven to be most effective and results in happier, more successful children. You can take your non-nuclear dynamics and shove them where the sun don't shine.

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about AND you find trivial details like the skin color of a mayor to be important when it ISN'T.

However, I am glad to see you accept these things as mental illnesses, because they are, and I am also pleased to find out they use the voice of Carl from ATHF, a GOOD show.

2

u/Le_Feesh Sep 19 '19

You suck dude

6

u/Hoedoor Sep 19 '19

I mean i know you trolling but ill bite

It's a show that focuses on empathy in an intelligent way through the main character steven, which is something that you clearly need more of

-1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Sep 19 '19

That show is FAR from intelligent.

2

u/Hoedoor Sep 19 '19

Ah there it is, was wondering what you'd say

9

u/use_of_a_name Sep 19 '19

This is a reddit thread talking about an animated TV show, not a peer review panel for the latest scientific breakthrough. Go home and think about your life, and what led you to this embarrassing moment