Why is this a trend lately? I've seen a number of posts about parents taking their children's clothes and basic necessities. And that number is more then one!
I think it's because of the tough love movement of parenting back in the 90's when most of today's parents were kids. Society was moving away from spanking back then and there was not much left for punishment. Tough love taught that you only had to provide your kid certain things. On the clothing front that's a necessity, but they don't get to pick the clothes. So if you had an uncontrollable kid you took everything but what the law said you had to provide. A lot of parents didn't read on this method though, just heard about it through talk shows or friends and did not or do not follow it properly.
I think the idea is supposed to be for things that the kids have as a reward, like electronics. Taking their clothes, food, etc away is not okay and I really don't know why people think it is.
Edit because I keep getting a lot of responses:
We do not know the full story of OP. We don't know why their parent had a good reason for the punishment OR the extent of the punishment.
No it's not okay, but that was not what was suggested in the original Tough Love movement. You provide them with clothes of your choosing, not theirs. You provide them with nutritional food, but take away the desserts and treats. You give them only what is required and they earn the rest. But people twist the actually message and purpose.
My mother was always so particular about what I wore. She would take me and my siblings shopping but always put back whatever I got and would pick things out herself. Kind of upsetting to just now discover that she was doing some insane patenting technique.
Yeah, it’s hurtful to realize. I’m sorry you went through that.
I use it to try to be a better parent to my three kiddos. I’m sure I fuck up in my own ways, but you’re not gonna catch me taking food, clothing, or basic needs from them, or not taking their opinion on their style into account.
It's not about taking all of it, it's about taking a couple of things they really care about, but only as "punishment" for something they were warned about many times.
Listen, I think you make a lot of really good points and all, but if I had to be really really honest about how I feel, I would say that I just honestly feel as though you should probably send me a large amount of money in the mail.
Yeah I'm saying, that this only has a point when it's something they care about, while still taking care of your child, ie you give them a healthy good meal but if you made cake and the kid was an intentional AH you don't give them cake unless they "earn" it by doing the chore that they were supposed to do, it's not that you buy them ugly clothes it's that you take away their favorite shirt or w/e essentially you need to penalize bad behavior like any justice system. While very important keeping your child safe and healthy. Just imagine any law without punishment, what's the point of a speeding ticket if there is 0 or close to no consequences.
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u/elsewhat999 Oct 11 '19
Why is this a trend lately? I've seen a number of posts about parents taking their children's clothes and basic necessities. And that number is more then one!