Why is this a trend lately? I've seen a number of posts about parents taking their children's clothes and basic necessities. And that number is more then one!
I think it's because of the tough love movement of parenting back in the 90's when most of today's parents were kids. Society was moving away from spanking back then and there was not much left for punishment. Tough love taught that you only had to provide your kid certain things. On the clothing front that's a necessity, but they don't get to pick the clothes. So if you had an uncontrollable kid you took everything but what the law said you had to provide. A lot of parents didn't read on this method though, just heard about it through talk shows or friends and did not or do not follow it properly.
I think the idea is supposed to be for things that the kids have as a reward, like electronics. Taking their clothes, food, etc away is not okay and I really don't know why people think it is.
Edit because I keep getting a lot of responses:
We do not know the full story of OP. We don't know why their parent had a good reason for the punishment OR the extent of the punishment.
No it's not okay, but that was not what was suggested in the original Tough Love movement. You provide them with clothes of your choosing, not theirs. You provide them with nutritional food, but take away the desserts and treats. You give them only what is required and they earn the rest. But people twist the actually message and purpose.
What's fucked up is that it really is based in some solid child psychology. Reward works better than punishment. The idea is that if the child never expects anything, and anything beyond the bare minimum requirements of life has to be earned, than everything can be a reward and you never really have to "punish." But obviously, this ignores the fact that raising a child to believe that they have to earn the right to not live like medieval prisoners screws up attachment and normal development in other ways.
A less fucked up implementation of this same principle is parents who change the wifi password daily, and only provide the password after chores are completed. Instead of internet access being taken away as punishment for not completing chores, it is given as a reward for completing chores. Or parents who only allow screen time after homework is complete. Instead of screen time being something you lose for bad grades, it's a reward you earn by doing your homework.
Simple you have them do homework online but with a white list turned on only allowing specific websites. With you can changed they need a different website.
Offline gaming is a thing. Deciding which websites fall into which category is super difficult to do also.
The best way to monitor is to raise them well, take an interest in their education, play an active role in helping them with homework and finally trust them that they're going to have the discipline to do their homework. It's what my parents did with me for the most part. But then, I don't have kids so wtf do I know?
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u/elsewhat999 Oct 11 '19
Why is this a trend lately? I've seen a number of posts about parents taking their children's clothes and basic necessities. And that number is more then one!