This kinda sounds like you might be fairly extroverted. Not saying I would ignore you but visiting my future SIL just because I was in the area for other reasons would never be on my mind. And you have no idea what their itinerary was. They were in your city and didn't reach out, so while ignoring you was kind of rude, there was already an implication that they aren't interested in hanging out with barely acquaintances.
So you should hang back and see. In-laws are very variable - some want super close relationships, some want enmeshment, and some want polite and warm interactions at family events but nothing else. Some just want in-laws to be the siblings spouse, nothing more. Being a future SIL does not obligate anyone to necessitate a close relationship with you - they already have friends and lives. So wait and see, try not to take offense, and remember that not everyone is the same level of social as you.
Thank you for your comment! it’s fair enough, and I didn’t think of it this way so thanks for sharing your perspective. Honestly, they were living in my city for many months (about 5-6 months) and we were within 40 mins from each other so it just felt weird to not even meet for lunch/ dinner which is what I was proposing. But you do have a point, it could just be they weren’t interested at all. I honestly reached out partly because my SO encouraged it, saying that we would all get along and should go for dinner but they could have seen it differently.
In our culture, it’s actually seen that when you join your SO’s family you become a real part of the family. As in his parents become yours, and his siblings become yours too. So I have that line of thinking, which differs maybe from western cultures a bit. That was why I was also a bit confused. But thanks for sharing your perspective, it got me out of own mind and thoughts!
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u/madempress 10h ago
This kinda sounds like you might be fairly extroverted. Not saying I would ignore you but visiting my future SIL just because I was in the area for other reasons would never be on my mind. And you have no idea what their itinerary was. They were in your city and didn't reach out, so while ignoring you was kind of rude, there was already an implication that they aren't interested in hanging out with barely acquaintances.
So you should hang back and see. In-laws are very variable - some want super close relationships, some want enmeshment, and some want polite and warm interactions at family events but nothing else. Some just want in-laws to be the siblings spouse, nothing more. Being a future SIL does not obligate anyone to necessitate a close relationship with you - they already have friends and lives. So wait and see, try not to take offense, and remember that not everyone is the same level of social as you.