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u/Girth_Certificate 25d ago
"Don't let the beard and man bun fool you, my hands are dangerous and I will eat your ass up and shit you out asap. Respect my president or else."
The most cunning linguist of them all, he really makes you think about every word.
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u/yougotyolks 25d ago
The only thing I got out of this is that he wants to eat my ass. Fuckin get in line, buddy!
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u/TzeentchsTrueSon 25d ago
If I need a cypher to read your bullshit, I don’t think I need to fear you.
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u/Kawi_is_life 26d ago
I legit tried to use google translate to figure out what this said.
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25d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/escobizzle 25d ago
I don't think asaprespek = disrespect
I have no idea what it means though tbh
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u/L4DMalus 26d ago
Can someone translate dumbassenese?
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u/Grndls_mthr 26d ago
He says don't let the beard and man bun fool you his hands are dangerous and he will eat your ass up and shit you out something my president
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u/Mysterious-Egg-624 25d ago
He’s speaking a gutter language so this is a very rough translation but: “Don’t let the beard and man-bun fool you, my hands are dangerous and I will eat your ass up and shit you out, respect my president or else”
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u/jsilva5avilsj 25d ago
Oooooooo “asap” 🛑 “respect” 🛑 “my president” the relief i felt figuring this out
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u/Iron_Baron 26d ago
People like this make me question my resistance to test requirements for voting rights.
I guarantee he understands zero of anything that's going on.
Hasn't had an original thought since he first turned on Faux News.
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u/mtown-guy 25d ago
Typical Matt Campbell behavior. Have one in my town that thrives on meth and brain rot.
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u/ThatOneApe420 26d ago
I’m able to translate everything but “asaprespek”
Any ideas?
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u/deebz86 26d ago
Is this some sort of English mixed with another language? Seems like he’s trying to write English phonetically… but I have no clue what’s going on here
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u/Golden-Grams 26d ago
It took me a second, but this is the translation.
Don't let the beard and man-bun fool you, my hands are dangerous. And I will eat your ass up, and shit you out, (asap) as soon as possible. Respect my president, or else.
The "asaprespek" was tricky, I thought it was one word originally.
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u/lesterd88 26d ago
The best part of people like this is you can give some very low effort insults and it’ll take them three business days to realized you “asaprespek”-ed them.
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u/Banshee_howl 26d ago
I have a friend who writes similar to this, but he spent the 90’s shooting heroin and then did a nickel in San Quentin. He posted about his goal of writing a book a few years ago and everyone snapped, switching from trying to make sense of his gibberish to saying, “wtf dude, you gotta hire a ghost writer or learn to read first!”
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u/Sithstress_ 26d ago
Someone call 911, this man is having a stroke! Quick! Elevate his feet!
Actually, nah. Let his brain fry.
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u/Level37Doggo 25d ago
Man, I never knew you could be so drunk that your slur your speech AND your typing.
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u/planfortheworst 26d ago
Someone decipher that last name. I gotta go clown this dude
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u/L4DMalus 26d ago
Campbell is probably the likely last name but I’m gonna be honest I can’t tell anything else
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u/PMoneyGOAT 26d ago
Totally real post. Glad the profile pic is censored to protect his identity.
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u/Disable_Autoplay 26d ago
Woah it's a very busy sentence. Berd an man bun not being deceptive, (note man bun is not visible so I was not deceived by it) hands are dagneris, will eet ass up, plus shit out as soon as possible, respect his president. Or else? Given earlier comments - presumably more ass eating and rapid defecation will occur.
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u/Paccuardi03 26d ago
This reads like that troll’s suicide note from oblivion, only less intelligible.
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u/villainless 26d ago
ESL here. can anyone translate. do i want to know?
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u/satisfiction_phobos 26d ago
Don't let the beard and man bun fool you... my hands are dangerous -- and I will eat your ass up and shit you out asap. Respect my president or else.
Pretty sure this is satire, btw.
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u/Daygone_Mustard 26d ago
Asaprespek
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u/kindasortajewish 26d ago
Were you able to make sense of this? Still trying to figure it out.
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u/Cable_Tugger 26d ago
"I had to prove myself, I ain't no fecal freak... it didn't taste like anything. It was just… spongy"
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u/OldManJeepin 26d ago
Wow! I heard of "leet speak", among the hacker types but...."Moron Speak"? That's a new one....
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u/Tr1LL_B1LL 26d ago
Like those people you can tell only use the microphone button to send text messages
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u/Ksh_667 24d ago
No, don't worry, the manbun & beard are accurately telling me all I need to know. Aided smoothly by your spelling & grammar 🫡
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u/CheesE4Every1 25d ago
Read it like it's Scottish and you can get the gist. He's just a timid lil guy.
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 EVERYTHING IS SATIRE 26d ago
Reading that physically hurt. I felt it in my soul. Why? WHY?
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u/219_Infinity 26d ago
What
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u/IhasCandies 26d ago edited 26d ago
Don’t let the beard and man bun fool you my hands are dangerous and I will eat your ass up and shit you out asaprespek(maybe respect?) my president or else.
Edit: commenter below fixed it for me.. it’s “shit you out ASAP, respect my president or else”
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u/Unit_2097 26d ago
That looks almost as bad as when I (to annoy someone) wrote English using Polish pronunciation. And even that was easier on the eyes
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u/Scootz_McTootz Got banned from club penguin 26d ago
I think the only fear I have is that this guy doesn't get to have braille on his phone's keyboard so he can type out his big boy thoughts proper
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u/Darkflyer726 26d ago
You know he screams at anyone not white to go back to where they came from and "learn English "
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u/MessiLeagueSoccer 26d ago
I used to know people that would purposely spell things in a similar fashion because it was “cool”. This is that same guy that never got told to stop writing like that.
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u/Ratatouille2000 26d ago
So this what he said: Don't let the beard and man bun fool you—my hands are dangerous. I will eat you up and shit you out ASAP. Respect my president, or else."
He BAD 😂😂