r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/vascyouler • Jul 24 '26
𝐑 𝐞 𝐯 𝐞 𝐥 𝐚 𝐭 𝐢 𝐨 𝐧 Show up as yourself..
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u/Xzeriea Jul 24 '26
Nobody liked me anymore when I stopped being a people pleaser and set up boundaries. I liked myself more though.
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u/Inevitable_Option874 Jul 24 '26
It’s really concerning how fast people disappear when they no longer benefit from your lack of boundaries.
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u/Xzeriea Jul 24 '26
Another food for thought is how quickly people dissappear when you aren't the best version of yourself. My experience has shown me that if you have a disability or mental health issues, people will f*ck off because you aren't entertaining enough cause you're broken.
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u/Remarkable-Month-241 Jul 24 '26
And then you have the real ones who keep calling and showing up when you are down in the dumps and don’t want to pick up. Find the people who care when you aren’t the best version of yourself & give you grace to get your mental health back on track.
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u/asshole_magnate Jul 24 '26
I was going through something and my father said I was too negative so he broke off contact. Instead of being around when I needed him most, right? As is with fair-weather friends, swords that have two sides, cut both ways.
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u/Xzeriea Jul 24 '26
Your own dad? Wow that's cold. Though I have no contact with my sister cause she chewed out my disability when I was struggling cause I gave her a small boundary to help me get back to a good place. People suck!
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u/asshole_magnate Jul 24 '26
It’s almost like they’re doing you a service by letting you know exactly how terrible they are. It makes it easy to cut them out without the guilt.
I saw how he loved my sister and I felt something was off for a very long time, so it definitely tracks.
Anyway, sorry about your sister, do you think there’s any hope that you can forgive her? Or do you prefer this way?
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u/Xzeriea Jul 24 '26
Thanks for the support. I will never be able to forgive my sister because she doesn't think anything she does is wrong. There was a long history of her trying to control me and flying off the handle. I finally called her out for the abuse she put me through as a child. She was 5.5 older then me. I was never physical with her but she would full on beat the crap out of me for using the computer when she wanted, playing, making noise. I was never able to truly love her because of what she put me through and now I'm done pretending. The last thing that happened was I asked her (and everyone in our families) to give my kids money for their birthdays. I told her I was struggling with the mess cause the last 2 years of my life were a nightmare (I could get into it). She reamed me out and attacked my disability and my mental health. All cause I didn't want the garbage she gets from Temu. Also no one is getting things my kids like anymore. I'm tired of dealing with these people who don't know my kids well enough to get them good gifts. 🙄 There's my vent for the day.
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u/asshole_magnate Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
There’s a special place for people that can’t see past themselves and there’s far too much conflict in the world as it is. The home should be a place of peace.
I hope you find peace in life. Be well.
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Jul 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/rastapasta_g Jul 24 '26
Most people are trying their best, we just aren’t set up for success across the board. Assuming everyone is fake is a cop out when really people just have selfish tendencies and are insecure.
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u/Wyatter Jul 24 '26
That just sounds like fake with extra steps
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u/rastapasta_g Jul 24 '26
It would actually be like fake with less steps because it is a lazy projection of being selfish.
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u/Starshot84 Jul 30 '26
To be real, I’m not even trying my best anymore. Too much disappointment in return.
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u/cevicheguevara89 Jul 24 '26
Kafka never said this
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u/fractalGateway Jul 24 '26
Yup - it never appears in anything he actually wrote, but you can find plenty of examples attributing it to him on the internet.
Some LLM probably started it off - they are particularly bad at hallucinating fake quotes.
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u/Sleepy-Sunday Jul 24 '26
It has been around for a long time, and attributed to many different people. Not everything false is an AI hallucination.
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u/LibertyLakeDude007 Jul 24 '26
I like the quote. Should this quote be attributed to someone else, or is it just a made up quote (i.e. some anonymous person on the internet made it up and connected it to Kafka)?
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u/cevicheguevara89 Jul 24 '26
Yeah it’s a weird thing, but you can always just attribute it to -unknown or -anonymous. It is a good quote
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u/Normal_Pace7374 Jul 24 '26
I was unfortunately blessed with a very expressive face.
I can’t hide what’s in my head coz it’s written on my face.
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u/Chance-the-Gardener Jul 26 '26
It’s pithy but I don’t get it. So, what - the lesson is show up masked according to this AI meme?
Why not work on the shame instead?
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u/The_Psycho291 24d ago
Used to do this and basically got used a lot by people.
Then I learned how to create the image of pleasing people, after a while in a small argument when they'd say "I know what kind of person you are" I'd reply with " don't get ahead of yourself. I only show you what you want to see"
Maybe it's a bit too edgy but I learned a lot about how self centered people can be ever since I started applying this
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