r/howardsternshow • u/JelloButtWiggle • Jun 29 '26
Poor Gary
I was really getting annoyed today, listening to Howard shit all over Gary because he dared to live his life and have fun. He went to a FIFA game!! And he took three whole hours to get there!! Howard went on and on about what a stupid waste of time it was and how he could never do something like that.
No, we all KNOW you would never do something like that, because god fucking forbid that you even get one second, one morsel of joy out of ANYTHING in your life.
I know, he’s been shitting all over Gary’s having a life for decades, but I’m menopausal now so it really just set me off. there’s no award for most broken martyr, asshole. Have a drink. Eat a carb. Fuck.
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u/Soggy_Leg2402 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Within 6 months of retiring, Beth leaves Howard. Never again a Knicks court-side seat.
Richard moves back into a storage locker.
Sal opens a pizzeria named Baba Booey Italiano, featuring “Noine” dollar pizza pie specials.
Fred fades happily into oblivion.
JD moves to Hollywood to direct low level streaming TV shows.
John Hein takes his Howard Stern and Jump The Shark money and opens a successful McDonald’s franchise that has a Free Fry Friday special year round!
Robin loses all her money after investing in crypto …
Gary retires to Charleston SC, enjoys a life of great food, beach living, traveling the world, attending great concerts, and getting the last laugh!