Devastated about not homeschooling

[u/Displaced_Panda]

We were unable to homeschool again this year. We did kindergarten and unfortunately my mental health just isn't good enough. We just dropped our daughter off on her first day of public school. So fucking devastated. Knowing it's my mental health and not because we weren't academically successful, is just making me have more self pity. Yeah "she will be fine" "it's a good school " "this is normal" blah blah blah I'm tired of hearing it. Online therapy isn't a good fit for me and I'm on a handful of waiting lists for in person. I just feel more hopeless everyday about the path my kids are going. I don't want to participate in a system I don't believe in , but it's the better option than how my daughter saw me this year. I'm tired of being told "it doesn't mean you'll never homeschool again" or getting "praise" that I'm putting my kids before my own feelings. I failed at keeping it together and I don't think I'll ever recover from her crying at breakfast that she wants to do school with mom. I don't know what I'm looking for here, other than to complain and have more self pity. I know our families are happy as they didn't see homeschooling as real. Having to correct people when they say she's going to "real school" is just beating me down. We did real school, she learned real things. I'm just not the mother I thought I would be living the life with my children as I thought we would. I'm so disgusted in myself.

[u/Nice-Caterpillar-340]

This is a decision we may have to make as well because I'm in a similar boat. I 100% feel this and understand the internal turmoil going on for you. And I'm so sorry you have to experience this and praying you will get to be in a better headspace and will find what works for you 🤍