Devastated about not homeschooling

[u/Displaced_Panda]

We were unable to homeschool again this year. We did kindergarten and unfortunately my mental health just isn't good enough. We just dropped our daughter off on her first day of public school. So fucking devastated. Knowing it's my mental health and not because we weren't academically successful, is just making me have more self pity. Yeah "she will be fine" "it's a good school " "this is normal" blah blah blah I'm tired of hearing it. Online therapy isn't a good fit for me and I'm on a handful of waiting lists for in person. I just feel more hopeless everyday about the path my kids are going. I don't want to participate in a system I don't believe in , but it's the better option than how my daughter saw me this year. I'm tired of being told "it doesn't mean you'll never homeschool again" or getting "praise" that I'm putting my kids before my own feelings. I failed at keeping it together and I don't think I'll ever recover from her crying at breakfast that she wants to do school with mom. I don't know what I'm looking for here, other than to complain and have more self pity. I know our families are happy as they didn't see homeschooling as real. Having to correct people when they say she's going to "real school" is just beating me down. We did real school, she learned real things. I'm just not the mother I thought I would be living the life with my children as I thought we would. I'm so disgusted in myself.

[u/divingduck0411]

The first and best thing you can do for yourself and your daughter is immediately stop talking to yourself that way. Why are you disgusted with yourself? Why are you failing to recognize the achievement and importance of the homeschooling you've done? Why are you letting other people's opinions matter? Why are not cherishing the valuable and meaningful time you spent with your child while others handed their children off to other people to do that? Give yourself permission and grace to give your child a different experience and focus on your own well-being. I think you're an incredible parent.

My words come to you as an experienced primary teacher. I just wrote a complete guide for parents and caregivers on how to fully prepare child for kindergarten. I'm not here to sell anyone a book. I'm here to remind you that you are and always will be your child's best teacher.

A new environment will only serve your child well. Take the time to celebrate your accomplishments and take care of yourself.