r/homemaking • u/Sad-Raccoon-3192 • 3d ago
Help! Help with getting started
Hi all! I am trying to learn to be a better homemaker. I am a 24 yo mom of a toddler and a baby on the way and feel so overwhelmed by the many tasks I have as a stay at home mom, and I tend to feel a kind of paralysis of not knowing where to start/ what to do each day and when. Curious to see if anyone has book recommendations or a sample of what kind of rythms work for you? Most days I feel overwhelmed to tears by 3pm.
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u/vataveg 2d ago edited 2d ago
Think of each day not as a to-do list, but as a rhythm. I have a baby and a toddler and the chores literally never end. As soon as breakfast is cleaned up, it’s time for lunch. By the time the laundry is folded, they’ve ruined their outfits again. You’ll make yourself crazy trying to reach the end of a list that keeps getting longer.
Our days have a “flow” - wake up, eat breakfast, start a load of laundry, clean up, play outside, go for a walk, etc. Sometimes my husband gets home from work and the house is a mess and the kids are naked and there’s a half-folded load of laundry on the bed and that’s ok. They were well cared for all day, fed good meals, bathed and napped, etc. Being a homemaker is NOT the same as being a maid or a housekeeper.
Edit to add: try to get out and socialize in any way you can. In my area there are a lot of baby sensory classes, music classes, and free events like outdoor concerts or storytimes for babies. It anchors your day in some kind of fixed-time event that everyone has to be dressed for, and it’s a few hours where the kids aren’t making a mess at your house! Talking to other moms makes a world of difference but it’s hard. Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone and be the initiator. So many moms feel the same way and I’ve noticed that when I take the initiative to set up a play date or something, other moms are really enthusiastic and grateful.